Will You Survive... The Podcast
Immerse yourself in the world of cinema as we embark on a journey to equip you with the skills to tackle any disaster head-on. Through the lens of thrilling tales, particularly those of the zombie apocalypse, we'll unravel the secrets of preparedness. Join us as we explore the silver screen to empower you for the challenges that lie ahead.
Will You Survive... The Podcast
WYS Yap Sesh #2
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
You know a conversation is going off the rails when it starts with a fight about how to clap “up and down” and ends with survival prep, wildfire smoke migraines, van life logistics, and a full-blown war over Fahrenheit. That’s exactly what we deliver in this loose, funny yap sesh from Will You Survive, where the jokes are constant but the real-world takeaways sneak up on you.
We pivot from nicotine banter and fake sponsorship bits into a surprisingly grounded talk about El Nino headlines, “record-breaking” storms, and why being prepared beats being terrified. From there we get personal about wildfire season, smoky air drifting across states, and what it feels like to wake up with a headache after breathing it all night. It’s a practical reminder that preparedness is often boring: paying attention, adjusting habits, and having basics like water, masks, and a plan.
Then we dive into money and mobility. We talk manufactured homes, the true cost of space rent, and why a cheap purchase price can turn into an expensive monthly reality. That leads straight into van life, bus builds, public showers, water storage, and the tradeoffs between freedom and comfort. We cap it off with infrastructure debates, metric vs imperial hot takes, and a grab bag of Netflix, Marvel burnout, and horror movie nostalgia.
If you like comedy podcasts with survival themes, real-life scenarios, and unfiltered friend energy, hit play. Subscribe, share the episode with a friend who loves to argue, and leave a review with the one take you refuse to budge on.
The Great Vertical Clap Argument
SPEAKER_00I I feel like no one's ever clapped like that before. What do you mean? Like this?
SPEAKER_02No, you fucking dip.
SPEAKER_00This is up and down. What do you think?
SPEAKER_03Hold your hands straight up and down. Both vertical.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yes.
SPEAKER_00You're a fucking idiot.
SPEAKER_02Is that not up and down, you fucking weirdo?
SPEAKER_00The way you that's not clapping up and down.
SPEAKER_02I said with my hands up and down, you fucking dip.
SPEAKER_00I just feel like you could have worded that a lot better. There's a word for that, by the way.
SPEAKER_03Why is with the animosity here?
SPEAKER_02Maybe you should read something. Up your fucking knowledge, dog. Up your fucking game.
SPEAKER_00Up my knowledge. This guy doesn't know the word vertical.
SPEAKER_02Up your fucking knowledge, bitch.
SPEAKER_00Clap up and down. This guy.
SPEAKER_02That's why you're a fucking slut. You know what?
SPEAKER_00I I want that all in. I want people to know.
SPEAKER_03Were your hands moving on the x-axis or the y-axis? He doesn't know that.
SPEAKER_02I know what the fucking X-axis and Y-axis is, Eric!
SPEAKER_00What about the Z? He was like, I know X-axis and Y-axis. They were the bad guys in World War II. Oh, nice.
SPEAKER_02See, that's a nerdy.
SPEAKER_03You liked it! Look at you're gonna fucking find a way to use it.
SPEAKER_00Writing it down for later.
SPEAKER_03He just he stopped and thought about it for a minute.
SPEAKER_02Also, I'm not hearing him through his mic, I'm hearing him to yours. So you should learn how to, you know, be a producer.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna fight you.
SPEAKER_02Are you?
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, I'm gonna show you what being a producer is like. I'm gonna fucking degrade you and fucking berate you.
SPEAKER_02Straight buns music. Don't fucking play with me. I'll ruin your career, buddy. Are you kidding me? You're part of that. I was a part of it, but listen, you were you had your hands on the sticks, man.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it was a crazy song. It we were doing like five different genres at the same time. It wasn't working.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. Maybe it's uh organization through chaos.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_02From this angle, he's like a fucking parent in like an old Charlie Brown?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like a Charlie Brown cart. It'd be funny this whole episode, you just did that.
SPEAKER_02Also, the veinage in his arm right here is kind of insane.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02You wish you had that veinage.
SPEAKER_00Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_02No veinage.
SPEAKER_00Women have mentioned how veiny my arms are, which by the way is not really a great compliment as a guy, but women love that.
SPEAKER_03Even as a kid, though, nurses would always talk about your veins.
SPEAKER_02See, but you got sickly veinage that he looks like he strangles bitches.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, see, I see I do agree. I actually do agree. My veinage comes from looking malnourished, but apparently, you know, in the in the quotes of one of my co-workers, there are women who like their men like a walking cigarette. A walking cigarette.
SPEAKER_02That's uh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's how she describes her tasted men. Okay. I was like, okay, that's funny.
SPEAKER_02Interesting, interesting. Let's delve into this. I think you you know the story of this actually.
Welcome Back And Cigarette Builds
SPEAKER_02Hello survivors, and welcome back to another episode of Will You Survive?
SPEAKER_00The podcast. I was so yap sesh. I thought we were just cold turkeying or just cold up.
SPEAKER_02As you can see, this is not a fucking part two to our last episode, uh, because we are horrible at our jobs. So we are going to do a yap sesh. That means we're just gonna talk about whatever. Uh so Eric is built like a cigarette. So let's talk about it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, that's what I've been told. I don't have the height of it, though. I'm like a I'm like a burnt-out cigarette.
SPEAKER_02Aren't there aren't there there are different types of cigarettes? There's longs and shorts.
SPEAKER_00I'm more like a I would say I'm more like a cigarello. You're a Virginia cigarette.
SPEAKER_02Oh damn. I'm a cigarillo, motherfucker. I'm brown.
SPEAKER_03Bro, you are not like a new point.
SPEAKER_00No, you no, you are a full-on cigar.
SPEAKER_03You're a Monte Cristo. You're one of those big fucking square cigars. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00That's insane. I I actually I had a a cigar recently that was kind of square-shaped, and I was, I don't know if we could put this, we could put this, whatever, we said worse. Um, it doesn't fit in your mouth very well because it's square-shaped. Uh, and so I was I was puffing it, and I was like, I was telling Elijah, I was like, ah, I was like, I don't, I don't like this cigar because it's like it's like a box in my mouth, and not the good kind.
SPEAKER_02There's a lot of different depths to that uh that story.
SPEAKER_03We gotta get the start of the episode. Start of the episode is all about oral fixation, cigarette, cigarello, cigar, box.
Vapes Fake Sponsors And Wild Jokes
SPEAKER_02Built if you're built like a cigarette. Let's talk about geek bars. Geek bars are the future, guys. We are sponsored. What are we sponsored by No or not? No, we're not. Try the new Will You Stuart? Perry Blast flavor. No, that'd be sick.
SPEAKER_03What are geek bars?
SPEAKER_00Try our new zombie blood flavor. Oh, that's sick. Like a cherry flavor called zombie blood.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's uh what are we gonna get? We're gonna get big tobacco on our side, dude. Not if we're vapes, dog. Big nicotine. True.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, tobacco don't like the vape industry. They keep trying to get it fucking banned.
SPEAKER_03Although that wasn't a good one right there. You take one puff and start coughing automatically. That's not a good sponsorship right there. We could edit that out.
SPEAKER_02It's so good. As you can see, the percentage is low.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh. Oh, that shit does burn when it's low and you're trying to pull. Yeah. No, my my pens, I I know when they're low battery because they start burning my shit. Oh, interesting.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I gotta karate my wife to uh buy me another one. Karate?
SPEAKER_03That's what I think to my wife. Karate! Yeah, I heard karate too. I'm like, damn, this guy. No wonder why he said she better duck when she walks through the door.
SPEAKER_00If she doesn't walk through the door with a vape in her hand, it's a roundhouse to the chin.
SPEAKER_03Like, no wonder why he says my arms look like I choke.
SPEAKER_02Where's my geek bar, bitch? Fucking he's looking to hire.
SPEAKER_03He's looking to hire.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, uh.
SPEAKER_03You've choked one or two.
SPEAKER_02I box bitches. I make noises while I'm doing it too.
SPEAKER_04The while having to go.
SPEAKER_00It's like, babe, I don't like it when you do that.
SPEAKER_02It's like y'all be in my girls' early ass doing nothing. I'll be in my girl's ear, like, I guess that's the question. Do MMA fighters do that? Do that do MMA fighters make noise when they fuck make that noise specifically.
SPEAKER_03Oh, let us know. You run a rousey podcast. Ron.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I don't I still hate me for that one. It's for science.
SPEAKER_02It's for science.
SPEAKER_03I still don't hate that. I don't hate that one.
SPEAKER_02Listen, your body's changed because you had a kid. Hey, as I'm getting older, moms are looking hotter. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03Well, I okay. All right. That's uh that's that's extra funny right there because something triggered in my head too. I've I've noticed that.
SPEAKER_00It's like damn moms have snacks.
SPEAKER_03It's uh, you know, I I don't know. Maybe uh maybe TJ's on his way to becoming a papa.
SPEAKER_02Maybe, maybe. I'll live uh uh you know what I I was thinking about it. I think it would be utterly hilarious to just not tell anybody. Just have a kid, just have a kid and then show up to Christmas.
SPEAKER_00I think you were saying something about this before.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know that that would be so fucking funny to me. That guy just show up to Thanksgiving. I'm like, it would be equally funny. You got the plates set, right? For everybody? Like, yeah, no, we uh we got 10 plates.
SPEAKER_03That's three for us.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, uh, you're missing one. They're like, what?
SPEAKER_03And I'm like, meet your nephew, and I fucking that would be equally funny if you pull up a baby on the stream here.
SPEAKER_00By the way, I had a kid.
SPEAKER_03We're just hearing noise in the background. It's like DJ, what is that? And all of a sudden he just pulls up a baby.
SPEAKER_02Is your cat making noise? The longer the farce goes, the funnier it gets. Imagine I just randomly have just a two-year-old child.
SPEAKER_03You're no idea of you're gonna pull the reverse the coffee table.
SPEAKER_00Wait, no, no, no. You could do the uh yeah, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_03That's wild.
SPEAKER_00You could do um the hire your mother thing, where you hire a family.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00Barney did that. He hired uh uh a girl and a kid to be his family to tell his mom that he had a family.
SPEAKER_03Because he thought she was gonna die, but then she got better. They're not my family. That's not my kid. God, I hate that kid.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, they they both died in a horrific accident. You know, yeah. Gotta keep the lie going.
El Nino Panic And Being Prepared
SPEAKER_03Speak of keeping the lies going, let's uh ask you about what are what are your threat assessments for this horrible, terrible, awful, death-defying El Nino coming this year.
SPEAKER_01Oh man, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Allegedly, we were getting hit with like tremendous storms. Um we have gonna die. Haven't you guys haven't you heard?
SPEAKER_00We're all gonna die.
SPEAKER_03Uh it's record record-breaking storms this summer that now turned into most likely this winter.
SPEAKER_00It it just kills me when like every single year it's the same headline.
SPEAKER_03It is.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, we're breaking records. This is the worst thing that's ever happened.
SPEAKER_03But I will say, no reason not to be prepared.
SPEAKER_00Oh, true, yeah. We're like a survival podcast. I forgot.
SPEAKER_03You know, you read all of this stuff, you see all of it. One good thing is uh you'll have plenty of rainwater to capture, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. Not in California it's illegal. Not anymore. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, good. You can catch rainwater. You mean they you mean they realize that you can't stop people from collecting water?
SPEAKER_03Exactly, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And all of a sudden it's like, uh, fire right now. So everything outside.
SPEAKER_03Are you everything is orange? Is it terrible? Are you are you uh I saw some dude driving in his car with a respirator on. He pulls it down to shut it down.
SPEAKER_02It's nowhere near that point. It's it's way on the other side of the state, but uh the their dirty Spokanian air is drifting its way over here. And I know stop it. Blow over towards Idaho and not towards fucking The Coast? Yeah, not towards western Washington. Blow it the other way, please. Yeah, welcome to our world. Yeah, it's it's a little Californian up here. I'm not uh without all the what's the trees that you guys have that you got from like no, you got them from like you like imported them from fucking Australia thinking it was we have so many.
SPEAKER_03What is it? Camphor trees, eucalyptus trees, uh what were the other imports? We had those that brought the oh no, that wasn't us. It was Alaska, the spruce the spruce tree that brought the spruce beetles.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, love bringing in fucking trees that like to catch on fire.
SPEAKER_00Well, we don't have a fire problem out here. No, not at all.
SPEAKER_02No, definitely not. These trees that spontaneously combust in the frickin' desert heat. You know, that you're not in a desert.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Camphor trees do smell wonderful when they're burning. Don't cook on it, but it smells wonderful. And they probably don't smell it because it's bad for you. That's the stuff uh That's like gasoline. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It smells good, but uh don't whiff it.
SPEAKER_02There there are these ones that I you know there's not a lot here, but I'll happen upon them and they just smell like dirty cooch. Uh and there's this guy on TikTok who has been he makes uh ice cream out of like different trees. Oh, I've seen this guy like soak the wood inside of the yeah, yeah, he made it he made it out of that tree. I think I've seen that. When it yeah, when it blooms it smells like fish. And yeah, no, he made one out of it and I it just wasn't good. I'm like, why would you think it would be? Yeah, well, I think he m he had to know.
SPEAKER_03You know, the best smelling plant yet for me is the creosote bush. They call it the the flower of the desert.
SPEAKER_02Hey, I got some good smelling flour over here.
SPEAKER_03That's a different kind.
SPEAKER_02Me too.
SPEAKER_00Dude, I watched a whole video on grown weed and I'm thinking I feel like I need to grow something. I would love to grow something if I wasn't in an apartment. You could do it. Speaking of which, this episode.
Manufactured Homes And Space Rent Reality
SPEAKER_00Manufactured homes. What? Manufactured homes. I live in one if it's not for the space rent. Pretty good deal.
SPEAKER_03I'm not familiar. What are you saying?
SPEAKER_00Uh so around here. Yeah. Well, yeah, but these are more stationary in California. They're they're fuck it, dude.
SPEAKER_03I'm down. Let's go be white trash.
SPEAKER_00They're on some well, that's the thing. They don't look like they're really in like a super white trash kind of area.
SPEAKER_03Oh no, it's just as soon as you get into a mobile home, you're white trash. See, well, the hours are tornadoes coming for your home. Right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You've seen the one hundred percent.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Right? His is more like a neighborhood. It's like a neighborhood, right? Not a trailer. It does not look like a trailer park at all. The kind like mine, and then there's the ones where you're like five feet away from your fucking neighbor tin shake.
SPEAKER_03Where the tornado's coming for you.
SPEAKER_00So these are the ones that I'm looking at, it's California, so everything is five feet away from each other.
SPEAKER_03It's true.
SPEAKER_00Uh so these are like five feet away, but they're they're nice. Like they look like they look more like tiny homes rather than rather than like a trailer. Um, because I've grown up next to trailer parks that were not great. Uh, but these don't look like that. They're for like a a two-bedroom, two-bath, eight hundred square foot is like 120k. But the problem is that unless you could just drop 120k on that, you're paying whatever your mortgage would be plus the space rent, right? Which is the stupid part. And the space rent, some of them are really great, and they're like $890. And you're like, okay, okay, I could do $890 plus a $1,500 mortgage. That seems doable. Then there's other stuff that's like the space rent is $14.95. And I'm like, for that's the rent right there. Yeah. $14.95 plus the mortgage, which is gonna be like another $1,600. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03But to be fair, $1,400. $1,400 is the rent for a studio apartment in Los Angeles.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, but that's not what you're you're not paying for. You're paying $1,400 or $1,495 plus a mortgage. Right. Which is gonna be like another $1,600, $1,700.
SPEAKER_03Which would be a two-bedroom in Los Angeles.
SPEAKER_00Which would be like $3,000, which is about what well, I mean, we're paying more than that, but things like that.
SPEAKER_02You could just drop the entire check on the house and already own it, you know.
SPEAKER_00That's what I'm saying. If you were to just drop $120K, then you're fine.
SPEAKER_03Anybody who knows me knows fucking lot rent. If I could, I would be off I would I would be in an actual RV all over the country.
Van Life Logistics Showers And Water
SPEAKER_02I I I tell Maddie all the time if she didn't exist, I'd be van life in right now.
SPEAKER_03Van life.
SPEAKER_02I got full capability to build out a really dope ass van, you know, and I would work odds and end odd jobs.
SPEAKER_03I mean, I I'm stationary, right? I got a wife and kids. This ain't gonna happen. But if I was single, I would be van life uh park in a Walmart, dude, and you take pick up odds and end jobs, you get a membership to Planet Fitness or 24 Hour Fitness, you shower there, you just cruise the country.
SPEAKER_00I could do it. I couldn't do that. I couldn't do public showers.
SPEAKER_03They're not entirely public, they have little stalls now.
SPEAKER_02Go into Walmart, grab some baby wipes, head into the stall, get all up in there.
SPEAKER_03And then if you get a big enough van, I've seen some vans that have showers in there.
SPEAKER_00If it had a shower in it, I could do that. But then you have to have the water for it.
SPEAKER_02I I would want to go for like a a school bus, like a short bus. I feel like that would be fucking main.
SPEAKER_03Yep. The only problem with the ones that have water in them is the engine has to be significantly larger to carry that much weight. So you're burning a shit ton of fuel.
SPEAKER_00Which is why I feel like you might as well just be stationary and just like orange.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but the whole purpose of this would be to see the country. It wouldn't I wouldn't want to stay in one place.
SPEAKER_00You know, the other thing, I'm a creature of habit.
SPEAKER_03Hobo it, dude.
SPEAKER_00Train top trains, uh ride the country. I was just talking to someone about I was talking to one of my coworkers about uh a train ride because she just recently flew to New York and uh I was joking, it was like, oh, you should take a train. And she was like, I looked into it, and I was like, really? And she goes, Yeah. I was like, I don't think I would ever want to take a train from LA to
Trains Vs Flights And US Infrastructure
SPEAKER_00New York. No, and she was like, Why not? And I'm like, because that's like an 80-hour thing, like that's multiple days on a train, and it's just as expensive. She was like, She's like, No, it's cheaper. I'm like, no, no, it's not cheaper, and she's like, Well, it is cheaper, but we look it up, and I'm like, okay, it's like 200 bucks cheaper if you go coach, but you're also spending days in a coach seat, not a bed. Yeah, you would want to see you're in a seat, and they recline just like a plane. I'm like, you're in a seat for days, and then you have to buy food the whole time. Yep. And then and then when you get there, you're gonna have to get on another train to get to your boyfriends. I'm like, that's I'm like, I I guess as I've gotten older, I consider time as part of the payment. Yeah. I would much rather spend an extra 200 bucks to make it a six hour flight rather than an 80-hour endeavor on a fucking train.
SPEAKER_02That's why Japan's fucking train system is just always fascinating me. Because if you look at Japan's like train map, and then you look at the US's, it's like dog.
SPEAKER_00Okay, well to be fair, Japan is like the size of LA. But no.
SPEAKER_02Japan's pretty big.
SPEAKER_00It's not Japan's big, but Japan is not anywhere near you can't, it's not even close to one of the sizes of our states. You can't you can't compare those states.
SPEAKER_02In a state, there's lit less than uh what's in Japan.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because we're not gonna be able to do that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, if you look at our shit, like the whole country, dude, there's like fucking like a couple lines that go that way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they well they don't have but they don't have like the car infrastructure that we have. I'm not saying it's better, but I'm saying like we the US has focused heavily on the car industry because we were a huge manufacturer, Ford and GM, but we were a big car manufacturer, so we spent a lot on car infrastructure uh rather than like the European and Asian countries, which have spent more on on public transport. Which I'm not saying one is better than the other, but I also just think like implementing the train system in the US sounds like a great idea, but I think we just have some really deep-rooted problems that we'd have to deal with first.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm not implemented, I'm just saying they implemented it better.
SPEAKER_03They definitely did.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, and they're trained 100%. We were like, oh yeah, dude, that fucking thing that runs on exploding dinosaurs, let's do that instead of these horses. You know? Yeah, I mean, it's kind of right with it. Have you seen a Model T fucking like how you start that bitch up? I don't know if the cars caught on. You gotta like pull the choke, oh yeah, and then you gotta adjust the spark, and then you gotta fucking there's like a another dial, and then there's a crank out in the front, and you gotta fucking you the the coils in that bitch, they're constantly you know, like now that that shit had to be a novelty.
SPEAKER_00Like it just had to be like that's fucking crazy, but But not a practical thing. Right.
SPEAKER_02It's like, damn, you're rich, Rich. You don't you you you don't need that. You got you don't, you know.
SPEAKER_00You got all the time in the world to fuck with this thing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, 100%.
SPEAKER_02How the fuck did it catch on?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. And then we made that like our whole personality.
SPEAKER_03I saw a meme that
Horsepower Dad Jokes And Right Of Way
SPEAKER_03that lives with me. What do they say? Lives rent-free in my head, which is back in the day, before cars, rich people traveled by horse. Today, rich people have horses.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Never changed.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. There's a I I live out in like the fucking sticks. So there's like farms and shit around me. And uh there's this one guy who he takes his horses out onto the road. And you'll see like signage of like, you know, watch out, there's fucking horses on the road.
SPEAKER_03Yep.
SPEAKER_00Um we actually have a surprising amount of those.
SPEAKER_03We do. Yeah. Just north of us and then all the way to the east.
SPEAKER_00To the south of us, we live, we live pretty close to the equestrian district. But you always gotta look out for the horse guy.
SPEAKER_03Yep.
SPEAKER_02Because I'm motherfuckers just in the street.
SPEAKER_03You can't block the horse, you can't interfere with the horse. Horse takes uh right-of-way over pedestrians.
SPEAKER_02You know, and I just fully uh one time I rolled up next to him. Stop forcing around. No, I said what forcing around the horsepower on one of them things. Nice! He said, one. That's good. You're goddamn right. And then I went in my little uh scion.
SPEAKER_03See, he's he is definitely ready to become a dad. Telling dad jokes already. So I don't know how many horsepower is.
SPEAKER_00How many horsepower?
SPEAKER_03It's two horsepower if you're going downhill.
SPEAKER_00I'm sure you guys know horsepower has nothing to do with a horsepower. No, a horsepower a horse has like 60 horsepower. Which I think is stupid. That's dumb. HP is how many health points?
SPEAKER_03Health points.
SPEAKER_0214.9 horsepower for a single horse. Yeah, see, what the
Metric Vs Imperial And Temperature Wars
SPEAKER_02fuck?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's an it's an exponential ratio.
SPEAKER_00Dang. The US will really measure anything and everything except metric.
SPEAKER_03Fuck metric.
SPEAKER_00I agree.
SPEAKER_03Metric sucks. So inaccurate.
SPEAKER_00Well, their measurement, they're like their distance measurement based on a sense. But their their their distance measurement makes sense. But the temperature, no, I stand on Fahrenheit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I like me in kilometers, but like that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like to split like millimeter to centimeter to meter to kilometer or to kilometer.
SPEAKER_02This is a kilometer. A hundred. Like a thousand.
SPEAKER_03Why why is that any better than 30 seconds, 64, 30 second, 16th.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, how many feet are in a mile?
SPEAKER_03How many feet are in a mile? Yeah. I used to actually know 3,060. Uh no. Oh, wait, in a mile?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, see, it's a stupid number. If you were to say how many meters are in a kilometer.
SPEAKER_02I got it right here pulled up. What's your best guess, guys? I if I remember correctly.
SPEAKER_00It's uh can't remember if it's four or five digit per mile, right? Is it like 26,560 something?
SPEAKER_03Uh no, no, no. I'm gonna say it is about 4,900.
SPEAKER_02He was the closest. It is 5280.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, see, that's stupid.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like why is it not just like a round number?
SPEAKER_00You know, yeah, well, so distanced, I think metric wins. But uh Fahrenheit and Celsius. Oh, that's the that's the temperature in which the water freezes. Oh, okay. Am I water? I'm made of it, but am I water? No, I'm a human being. Let's measure it in something that makes fucking sense.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. I think metric sucks all around.
SPEAKER_00I don't know. They got something with the distance.
SPEAKER_03Tony, you can argue the same thing with why is 32 degrees Fahrenheit freezing Celsius at zero. That's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_00I think I think we win with Fahrenheit because Fahrenheit makes sense. I don't give a fuck when the water freezes. I want to know how cold I am. And I like uh there was a comedian who I actually really agree with this, was like, yeah, uh Fahrenheit is just percentage. It's 90, it's 90% hot. It's 70, it's 70% hot. That's really it's 20 kills, it's 20% hot. Anything below zero, it's too cold. Zero is too cold. Anything above a hundred, it's too hot. Freaking eight degrees is too cold. Yeah, it's eight percent hot. It's way too cold.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's pretty fucking difficult below zero.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I've truthfully, as someone who's experienced below zero, it's not any different, it just sucks. It like if it's if it's once it's zero, it doesn't fucking matter. Negative 20, negative 40, it's it's a different level of stock.
SPEAKER_022% cold.
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah, so like negative 20, negative 40, it's not much different. It just fucking sucks.
SPEAKER_03Okay, but but then you have to factor in humidity because it could be 80 degrees and 19 humidity and it's fine. Nothing bad. It could be 80 degrees 100% humidity and it's fucking miserable.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it feels like the fucking air is molesting you.
SPEAKER_03It feels like you're in a dryer with a wet blanket.
SPEAKER_00I've heard Georgians describe it as they step outside and they get waterboarded by the air. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh you walk outside and it's like somebody just threw a wet blanket over your entire body.
SPEAKER_03It's a hot, wet blanket.
SPEAKER_02A hot, wet blanket.
SPEAKER_03That's why I think like in the humidity when the air blows around here, because we always have the offshore breeze. When the wind blows, it just feels like you're in a dryer with a hot, wet blanket.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like, oh Jeff Dunham describes Florida once. Jeff Dunham was uh he was doing uh Walter, and uh they they were in Florida, and Walter makes a joke where he's like, Yeah, I took a shower on Monday, Friday, my ass still wasn't dry. That's a good one.
SPEAKER_02I am glad that it's not too humid over here. It is hot as fuck.
SPEAKER_03You got those fires that are drying it out.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. And the smoke's giving me migraines, but I could live through it. It's fine.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, dude. I know what you mean. There was uh this last big fire that we had recently, the one where you thought my room was on fire.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um I uh I woke up, I sleep with my window fully open every night. Uh unless it gets really cold, which it never does. And um, yeah, I woke up to to Alex knocking on my door, wondering if I was uh wondering if my room was on fire. Because I have my window open and there was a big fire outside.
SPEAKER_03Not really, but the smell of the door. The smell was so strong right at his door. So I was like, oh shit, what the fuck? I even put my hand on the door.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, uh the smoke smell's been slip slowly, like tapering off lately. That's good. Um are they getting it under control? Sunday and Monday was like, God damn, it is orange outside, and I it's you just smelled um Are they getting it under control at all? I think they're getting it under control. Um, I mean, um Maddie's brother's here and he was able to get here through Spokane from Idaho, so Oh, that's that's a positive. I'm pretty sure they could they caught the guy who fucking started it too.
SPEAKER_00Oh shit. Good. Yeah, but I woke up with a massive headache that day. I was just hoffing that smoke overnight. We're looking at it right now.
SPEAKER_03What are what do what does the chat use? Celsius or Fahrenheit?
SPEAKER_00Man, if they say Celsius, I'm gonna start throwing some hands.
SPEAKER_03We're gonna fight.
SPEAKER_00We're gonna fight stupid any of you say Celsius. You know what's even more stupid? Canada. Meters. No, meters make sense.
SPEAKER_03Canada uses meters. They're stupid. So meters are stupid.
SPEAKER_00Canada uses both.
SPEAKER_03Canada's stupid.
SPEAKER_00You know Canada uses pounds? Not the money. Oh. The weight. But they also use kilograms.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00You know what the determining factor is? What? If it's heavy, they use kilograms. If it's light, they use pounds. Fu uh fucking pick a lane.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we've got a couple fires over here. Not just the one in this volcano. There's one called the Little Giant.
SPEAKER_03But I use Celsius. Oh wait, I should put a black background so that I can when I'm making fun of imaginary countries. Okay, I like that. Canada and Britain.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03See, we use inches, but we also use your centimeters. Your black as the background to read.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Centimeters to inches to feet to yards to mile. What the fuck are we doing? We don't go centimeters. Yeah, we do. We have centimeters on a ruler.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay, but it's on the opposite side. You go on an American ruler. To an inch, to a foot, to a yard. That's that's the progression.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that's all stupid. 12 inches to a foot, okay, I guess. Three feet to a yard, fucking I guess. A hundred how many yards to a mile?
SPEAKER_03Does anybody even know that? How many yards to a mile? Yeah. It would be sixteen hundred and sixty. Dumb. Why?
SPEAKER_00Why why is it not just a ra like a straight number? It is a straight number. No, it's not. It's 1660. That's stupid. Why is that stupid? Well, how is that not stupid? How are you arguing for this?
SPEAKER_03Versus Because it doesn't bother me. It's just a matter of memorization. Versus like yeah, but that's dumb. 1760.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00Versus versus like uh meters, which is it's all hundreds and tens. That makes sense. That checks out.
SPEAKER_03How many how many meters are in a mile?
SPEAKER_00They don't use miles.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I know. And they can't I also can't get to the moon with that fucking math.
SPEAKER_00With kilometers? I'm okay, but I'm fairly certain. They use the Imperial Inch.
SPEAKER_02We can all agree. Eric, how much do you weigh? I don't want to say that. Don't be a pussy. How much do you weigh? I don't want to say that. Why? How much do you weigh? How much do you weigh? Alex, how much do you weigh? 171. Alex weighs 12 stone. Isn't that a dumbass fucking measurement? What is that? That's Britain? Yeah, you British fucks. What the fuck is a stone? 12 stone, you I weigh 12 stone. Quite fat in it.
SPEAKER_00Isn't it fucking losers? No, no. NASA uses both, but while it officially mandates the metric system for science and program development, engineers and public broadcasts frequently use U.S. customary units due to legacy hardware, contractor specifications, and public-facing communications. The official policy in science is that it's metric first. NASA officially transitioned towards using the metric system for internal science calculations and international projects like the International Space Station. Although we still do use the Imperial for some stuff. Hardware manufacturing many aerospace parts, blueprints, and supplier contracts in the US still use inches, feet, and pounds.
SPEAKER_03And those contractors, guess who they are?
SPEAKER_00SpaceX, JPL, MIT. Yeah, I mean, I mean it makes sense for like public and for public stuff, because like none of us know meters, but they typically you they still use metric for all science-related stuff and and for international projects. Bottom line, metric sucks. I mean, I look, I think ultimately metric sucks for the most part. I think they got something with distance,
Netflix Picks Marvel Fatigue And Reboots
SPEAKER_00but everything else is dumb.
SPEAKER_02Y'all seen any movies recently?
SPEAKER_03Um, yes. And I'm curious about your guys' take on what do you think of the new Resident Evil? Worth it or no? I haven't seen it. No, no, no. To go see it. Have you seen the trailer? Have you seen any more?
SPEAKER_02I think it would. I I don't it's not giving Resident Evil to me.
SPEAKER_03Really? Me too.
SPEAKER_02But it's just it's just not giving Resident Evil to me. But all you know, it it might be good.
SPEAKER_03Oh, what'd you think?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think it's in it's in it's a it's better than uh it's better than some Spider-Man movies.
SPEAKER_03Is it accurate that it has like the most banging soundtrack?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I've been into uh some songs off the soundtrack and it did pretty just some bangers in there.
SPEAKER_00Um Spider-Man Homecoming is on Netflix?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it goes they go to Netflix. Oh yeah, they did uh yeah, they got a deal years or something after a movie comes out.
SPEAKER_00I've actually so I've been wanting to rewatch uh the Marvel stuff up to Endgame. Yeah. Um because after that, what the fuck? Yep.
SPEAKER_02Eric, do you want to like watch like the TV shows with me? Like that'll be a good one.
SPEAKER_00No, no, I wouldn't because the TV shows are too much. You you're lucky if you can get me to sit down for an hour and a half to watch a movie. You want me to sit down for a whole fucking series?
SPEAKER_03No, yeah, it's longer than an hour and a half. I think every single one of those movies is two.
SPEAKER_00Which one? You gotta watch it.
SPEAKER_03He's gonna go WandaVision.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I do like I've seen Wandavision, but that's just because I really like Scarlet Witch. Uh Scarlet Witch is yeah. I wonder if she's ever coming back.
SPEAKER_02Elizabeth Olsen, god, love her. Great. Yeah, no, my uh my new celebrity crush is Florence Pugh. Uh she plays the new Black Widow. Um Spider-Man. What is that, Yelena? Yeah, she um she's in the Spider-Man uh thing. He like fucking shows up. He's like, I thought you said this was your office. She's like, This is my office. And she's in a fucking bathhouse. And she's in the fucking bath, butt ass naked. Okay. She's funny. Yeah. And then I don't know her. What else is she in?
SPEAKER_00You've probably seen her clip with uh she was in the oh you mean forward. Um the character, she's only been in she was in Hawkeye.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, Hawkeye Thunderbolts uh in the Black Widow movie. I don't know if she's been in anything else other than the new Spider-Man movie, also.
SPEAKER_00That was pretty funny. I made macaroni.
SPEAKER_03Alright.
SPEAKER_02I need to re-watch Hawkeye. I haven't I fucking I watched it once.
SPEAKER_03Have you guys seen any scary movies?
SPEAKER_00Um I don't I don't watch anything if it's not for the podcast.
SPEAKER_03Really? So what do you think? Have you heard of the other mommy? I think it's just other mommy.
SPEAKER_00You I think you mentioned this recently, no?
SPEAKER_03I don't know if TJ looked it up. It's disturbing. It has uh somebody rather famous. I forget her name now. Um you're gonna know her. Jessica Chastain.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I have. I haven't seen it, but I've seen it. She plays Murph!
SPEAKER_04Sorry, Murph.
SPEAKER_00No, Murph, no. Yeah, no, I always mix her up with Bryce Dallas Howard. They look identical. They are the same person. You cannot convince me otherwise.
SPEAKER_02But you know, Bryce Dallas Howard.
SPEAKER_00I saw a bunch of uh I saw a post on Instagram that was like, all these celebrities who look alike, and yeah, some of them, holy shit, it's just the same person. Hey Miss Howard. Hit me up. Nice. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure she's gonna get ready. Brooklyn99 is on Netflix. Oh wow. Yeah. I'm just going through Netflix right now.
SPEAKER_02You know what? Oh, you know what's gonna be on fucking Netflix? The GTA 6 reveal. Oh shit. That's why why the fuck are they doing that? Yeah, that's weird. No. Why why what it what Rockstar, what are what are you doing?
SPEAKER_00The original thing. Where is the goddamn gameplay?
SPEAKER_03Oh wow.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Netflix went hard.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they got some good ones on here right now.
SPEAKER_03There's gonna be a price bump on Netflix.
SPEAKER_02Um the show on Netflix called Something Very Bad Is Going to Happen is a really good one. It is it is like slight horror. It's like it's it's like half and half horror.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I don't know where. And I don't know when. Something bad is gonna happen.
SPEAKER_03No further questions. I still really want another type of show that would produce the same feelings as Haunting on Hill House or Haunting of Hill House.
SPEAKER_00Have you ever seen the Fall of the House of Usher?
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_00Uh same director, uh, Mike Flanagan. Um, same a lot of the same actors. Pretty good.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00I don't know if it's quite on the same level, it's not really scary the same way. Horror, definitely. Got a very brutal scene in like episode two.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, back to uh fucking Marvel, they canceled Wonder Man, which was a really good show they made after making really trash shows for a second. Um after revealing they were like, Oh, yeah, we're gonna do a season two. Never mind. Uh they're not doing Blade. Yeah, that kind of disappointed me. They're not they also You know that I just saw that too. I don't want to pull the black card, but they seem to just fumble all the black shows, the movies. Here's a funny Black Panther.
SPEAKER_03I just saw a reel where they were pointing out that Deadpool got it right, right? I was like, What is this? So I'm watching it, and it's the scene when Blade gets up out of the car and they were like, Oh, there's never been another blade. He goes, There'll never be another blade. There's only that was just they just released that they're that it's done, like they're not doing it again.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Which like Marshall Ali would have been a great fucking blade, dude. So, like, yeah, fuck you guys.
SPEAKER_0028 years later, the Bone Temple is on Netflix. You should watch it.
Horror Childhood Trauma And Content Warnings
SPEAKER_00The newest one? You think so?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, watch it.
SPEAKER_00Should we cover it or it's under Boredom Busters?
SPEAKER_02Uh I mean, we could cover it. I mean, we covered the last one. Um just make sure you're not watching it with any children near.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was definitely gonna watch this with children. I don't know.
SPEAKER_03I know we've been talking to you about how they're my son is all crazy about Pennywise and That was my grandmother's doing Jaws and my little sister when a stranger calls little, she fucking would watch uh like Chucky and shit.
SPEAKER_00I watched Resident Evil when I was like six.
SPEAKER_03When I was little, I watched uh Nightmare on Elm Street.
SPEAKER_00Me too. That one fucked me up. That one actually scared me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you never like got were scared at all about Resident Evil.
SPEAKER_00No, I thought zombies were cool. They didn't scare me. Freddie Krueger though, that was too real.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02The you know like the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street? I I they lost me on that.
SPEAKER_03I did not like it at all. I walked out. I mean, you guys were watching it downstairs in uh at the house, and I watched like the first 15 minutes and walked out. I I wasn't I wasn't having it. It wasn't a good remake. I don't like remakes already, so I already come in biased. I agree.
SPEAKER_02It's gotta be really good. They made him like super pedophile. Like I remember watching it the first time. I don't like I don't remember Freddy being that much of a pedophile. So like yeah, I watched it once back in when it came out, and I haven't watched it since.
SPEAKER_03They never made Freddie anything more than he was a stone cold killer. That was it. And then they try to change it to he was a pedo.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03What is what is TikTok like? P3DO?
SPEAKER_00Uh PDF file.
SPEAKER_03PDF file.
SPEAKER_00What kills me? Okay, I've said it before, but I'll say it again. We all fucking know what it is.
SPEAKER_03Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_00What are we censoring when we all know exactly what is being said?
SPEAKER_03You know, they just don't like their executives being called out by name.
SPEAKER_00It's so fucking crazy. It drives me it drives me insane.
SPEAKER_03That's my conspiracy theory.
SPEAKER_02I always forget Johnny Depp's in the fucking in Nightmare on Elm Street.
SPEAKER_00Yes. If I call someone a pedo versus if I call someone a P3DO, yeah, that really changed what I said. And nobody knows what I said now. Wait, what'd you say? I don't trust you anytime you say that. What'd you say? No.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Um Jackson just asked, didn't one of you talk about having to look both ways up the stairs? You couldn't look one way. That was me, yeah. That was you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03He remembered.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. That uh that one fucked me up. That one scared me.
SPEAKER_03But that was the OG, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That one scared me.
SPEAKER_03Alright, well.
SPEAKER_02Most horror movies don't freak me out like that.
SPEAKER_00I was very young.
SPEAKER_03Not anymore.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'm pretty desensitized to pretty much everything.
SPEAKER_03Thanks to me?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, a little bit. Also, uh, thanks to Instagram. Oh, yeah, now. Yeah. It's like, careful. This is sensitive content. Better not. This might be this might be dangerous.
SPEAKER_03When it comes to like better not see a nip, but somebody's brain splattered.
SPEAKER_00They're like, careful. This is sensitive content. Are you sure you want to view this? I'm like, I guess. And then it's like a Knott's berry farm play where they have fake guns and somebody falls onto a pad. And I'm like, oh, okay. And then I go to the next reel and a guy falls off a 200 foot cliff and splats on the ground. No content warning. No. Just letting you see it. Exactly. Just raw dogging that one.
unknownRawdog.
SPEAKER_02Oh, more marvelous. Raw dogging trauma.
SPEAKER_03They just raw dog my brain fuck.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, I heard about that.
SPEAKER_03I heard about that. Really?
SPEAKER_00I feel like they should have brought Nick Cage back.
SPEAKER_03I feel like they still looks the same, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_00I really think they should.
SPEAKER_02Nick Cage, Nick Cage killed it. He killed the fucking series. The second one was ass. It was the second one? Yeah, there was a second button. That was ass.
SPEAKER_03If any of
Movie Requests Listener Email And Wrap
SPEAKER_03the viewers have any movies that they want to chime in about, send us your emails to the boys at will you survive the podcast.com. We'll take a look, see what you have to offer, and uh maybe we'll cover one of them on the podcast. We won't we don't like you like that. We might like them like that.
SPEAKER_00We'll actually specifically avoid those ones.
SPEAKER_03We only want to be friends.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's really embarrassing for you. It's really embarrassing. Anything else, boys? Um nah.
SPEAKER_04I'm good.
SPEAKER_02No, I think I think we we we got it.
SPEAKER_03We covered movies, we covered fires, we covered El Nino.
SPEAKER_00I think we covered everything there is to cover.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. We did pretty good. Thanks for coming to talk with us.
SPEAKER_02Eric's middle name is Gunther.
SPEAKER_03Gunther. Nice.
SPEAKER_00Pretty crazy. Teen Titans Go is on Netflix? Yo, Netflix is kind of goaded right now. Why what the fuck? Why are you excited about Teen Titans Go? What are you fucking stupid? Teen Titans is better. I don't give a fuck. Teen Titans Go is dope. No, it's not. You're such a hater, this guy. Eric's a child, guys. This guy is such a hater. He will show me the dumbest shit. I cannot believe you right now. You're a child.
SPEAKER_03Alright, well, with that, make sure that you guys tune into our next episode. You can catch us anywhere that you get podcasts on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, TuneIn, iHeart, Good Pods, where we've been rated several times in the top 10 of your monthly survival chart list. Monthly survival chart list. Yeah, what it will go with it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_03And you can also check us out on all of our socials like TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. Just search Will You Survive the Podcast. You will catch us out there. We have a whole bunch of reels and content for you to digest. And you can also see our X where I'm trying to get better at posting behind the scenes. I'm still working on it. Go over there, give us a follow. Maybe you can uh prompt me to do a better job by uh showing up and waking up my notifications.
SPEAKER_00And next week we're gonna cover the B movie. The B movie. You like jazz.
SPEAKER_02And that's been everything for this episode. Thank you all for listening. My name is TJ, that's Alex. That is Eric. That's me. Um, fuck you, Tom Segura, and until next time. Why what did Tom do? I'ma steal your I'ma steal your ex-wife, Tom. I'm gonna do it.