Will You Survive... The Podcast

New Year, Same Survival Energy

• Will You Survive... The Podcast

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New year shock, old world problems: we kick off 2026 by stress-testing the everyday stuff that somehow feels harder than outrunning a movie monster. From checks versus direct deposit to stores that reject your card at the worst moment, we turn money mishaps and retail rules into survival drills with jokes as our flashlight. It’s a fast tour through bank anxiety, mobile deposits, convenience fees, and the strange house rules of places like Costco and WinCo—plus the backup systems that keep you from getting stranded at the register.

The vibe shifts as real safety enters the chat. We talk mail theft, fraud alerts, and what to do when a simple errand turns into something unsettling in a parking lot. Without losing the humor, we get practical about documenting details, filing reports, and using tech to spot trouble early. The takeaway is simple: survival isn’t just wilderness gear and bunker talk. It’s noticing patterns, planning small redundancies, and staying calm when the plan breaks.

We also lay out our 2026 game plan. Expect tighter bits, a yearlong capture of the funniest moments for a mega highlight drop, and a renewed push for live segments that reward the diehards. There’s a creative resolution in the mix—daily drawing—and a promise to keep the show’s horror-comedy survival DNA front and center, even when we’re arguing about phone calls versus texts. Most important, we want your voice in the mix. Tell us what segments you love, which to retire, and what wild ideas we should test next.

If you had to build your own “everyday survival kit,” what’s going in first? Hit play, then leave a rating, follow for more, and share this with a friend who always brings the wrong card to Costco. Your ideas will shape what we make next—drop them in our mentions and let’s make 2026 fun to survive.

SPEAKER_01:

Hello, survivors, and happy new year. Welcome to a special episode where we are here to tell you it is the beginning of a new year that you are starting with us here at Will You Survive the Podcast.

SPEAKER_03:

Holy crap, it's a new year.

SPEAKER_01:

It's a new year. The podcast.

SPEAKER_03:

The podcast. It's 2026, guys. What the heck?

SPEAKER_01:

What happened?

SPEAKER_03:

I think I'm still in denial, honestly.

SPEAKER_02:

I uh 2026 is kind of crazy. It's been six years since the pandemic, and people are still gonna bring it up. You want to know what's really crazy? Like me, I'm the first to bring it up. Hey guys, remember six years ago?

SPEAKER_03:

God, can't let it go.

SPEAKER_01:

This is gonna date me, but I know that I'm gonna be writing checks right in 2025. You guys don't know what checks are. They're these things that you can write.

SPEAKER_03:

I literally write a check twice a month.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, wow. Yeah, I know how to make that. Do you know how to balance a checkbook?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. It's easy. I only make two checks a month.

SPEAKER_01:

But you're supposed to put in all of your transactions.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't do that.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, Eric uses checks. Didn't you hear him? He writes two checks a month.

SPEAKER_03:

You know what's crazy? If I go to my if if I go to my bank statement online, it literally says the check and the check number and the amount that came out. So not worried. I've gotten a check.

SPEAKER_01:

You you what?

SPEAKER_02:

I've gotten a check before.

SPEAKER_01:

You've gotten a check? I would hope so. You have a job.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, yeah, but most people do direct deposit. The first time I got paid was with a check.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And then it's been direct deposit ever since?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Why the f no, because like the reason I do the direct deposit is I get that shit three days early. Yeah. Two days early. I get paid on fucking Wednesday. Maybe Wednesdays or three days.

SPEAKER_03:

The day that I got my first job, I didn't have a bank account yet. So it was cash and then going to the bank and get or it was a check and then going to the bank and getting cash.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

From the check. That was crazy times.

SPEAKER_01:

Didn't take long for you to get an account, did it?

SPEAKER_03:

No, I was like, that sucks. It actually took me way too long to get an account because I was terrified to go to a bank and be like, can I can I open a checking account?

SPEAKER_01:

So wait, you're you're you suffer that millennial uh No, I did because I was still What are you guys called?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, what Millennial Dread?

SPEAKER_01:

Like in between millennial and Zennial? Gen Z. Zoomers.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I got uh Zoomers?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, that's what you guys are called. Zoomers. People hate that. It's like comical.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, like, it started with, you know, just us making fun of boomers because boomers suck dick.

SPEAKER_01:

Which made me laugh because I think it was boomers who started making fun of Gen Z calling them Zoomers. Or it might be Gen X.

SPEAKER_02:

I think Gen X did that. Listen. It is what it is.

SPEAKER_01:

But you guys are Xennials, right? Isn't that what they call you? Or Zelennials? Zelennials.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, millennial cusper is what What did you call it?

SPEAKER_01:

Millennial Dread?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

That was my wife even said that. I made a phone call. I just cold called. She was like, Oh my god, did you just call it?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I do that all the time. I prefer to call.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. I fucking hate calls. Like, seriously? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, well, okay, so my reasoning is for work, and a lot of the time it's like, I need an answer, like, kind of now. So I'd rather call you than text you and see my text.

SPEAKER_01:

Now that I know, I'm gonna just start calling TJ and just being like, whatcha do?

SPEAKER_02:

I'm not gonna mind that. You're gonna answer. I'm really not.

SPEAKER_01:

I will I will preface it. I'll send you a text first and say, hey, we really have to talk about the podcast. I'm gonna call you right now. Then as soon as I call you. I'm not answering. If I don't answer, I can't get fired.

SPEAKER_03:

Then he has to fire me live, and that's awkward. He would never do that.

SPEAKER_01:

That would get awkward. I don't know, but it might be good for the ratings. I mean, maybe we should like fire somebody every week.

SPEAKER_03:

We just hire someone just to fire them?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01:

Josh.

SPEAKER_03:

You're gonna be employed.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, I'm gonna put a week in our uh our logo, peeking from behind a corner, really tiny, like a little Easter. I love it. I love it. That's great. Um, I had them send me a picture.

SPEAKER_01:

That is fantastic. All right.

SPEAKER_03:

But getting back to my super interesting story, no, I I did not have millennial dread. I was just 17, and so I was like, I don't know if I'm allowed to do this.

SPEAKER_02:

You went to the bank, though. Disgusting.

SPEAKER_03:

It felt crazy. Well, because I didn't know there was another way. Oh, I literally went to the bank and I was like, Can I have a checking account? And they were like, Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Dude, with everything, I just I fucking I'm like, can I do it online? Can I do it online?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, and then I got my first credit card and I was like, oh, you guys practically hand this shit out like candy. Yeah. I was like, okay, I get it. I this is a different game.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I thought it was like a challenge.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, to this day, I've only cashed two checks by phone.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I always mobile deposit. Do you? Always.

SPEAKER_01:

I I've never I've never known it. Because I always get cash at the same time.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, that's fair enough.

SPEAKER_01:

So I already have to go to the bank, so might as well.

SPEAKER_02:

You ever had to cash your check fucking when the banks are closed? Go to a fucking Walmart. Hey, give me my money. They take like three dollars. I suppose that works.

SPEAKER_01:

Why is it money gram? Is that do they do that?

SPEAKER_02:

Um, it's it's a whenever we me and Maddie got paid from the uh fucking we'd go to the uh money services.

SPEAKER_01:

Is it just a cash it's a it's just a cash checking place or check caching? Cash checking.

SPEAKER_02:

You just go into a fucking Walmart to the money services and give them your check and then they take like three dollars and then they give you your money.

SPEAKER_03:

I love oh okay, I I say this sarcastically. I love when places charge a convenience fee. Yeah. And I'm like, this is more convenient for you, too. Yeah. I don't know why you're pretending like this is just for me.

SPEAKER_02:

What's money going into your register, bitch?

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

What the fuck? You don't even have to talk to me. I'm just giving you my money through the fucking ether.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I will say one of the more common things that they call it a convenience fee is when you use a credit card. It's actually because they get charged a fee from the creditor, the the credit card holder or company.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh uh R City, when they give me tickets, yep, there's a fucking three dollar. Three percent. Yeah, three percent um convenience fee. I'm like, fuck you. What what I the the alternative is I send you cash in an envelope. And you're and you're saying that this is that this is only convenient for me?

SPEAKER_02:

You can send a check. Oh yeah. You know it's not fucking convenient. I'm not gonna do that. Fucking Winco. Fuck you, Winco. Not accepting fucking credit cards, you goddamn retards. I hate you. Only debit?

SPEAKER_01:

I didn't know. I didn't know. Is it is it cash or check only, or is it debit card? What is it?

SPEAKER_02:

It's it they accept debit cards, they just don't accept credit cards. So every time I'm there, I just forget that they don't accept credit cards, and then I look stupid when my shit declines.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, that's like Costco only accepts Visa.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

That sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First time I went there and I was trying my card, it was not going through, and it it didn't dawn on me for a second. Thank god our company card is on is a visa. Uh huh. But yeah, that sucks.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I've done that. My wife has done that. We've all gone to Costco with the wrong card. It's like, oh man.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Which fucking Walmart doesn't take.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm a weirdo and I take uh I have multiple credit cards with me all the time.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I I literally have if I ever lose my wallet, I have to cancel everything.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I have everything on me.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you guys carry cash on you?

SPEAKER_03:

I do a little bit. I carry 40 bucks.

SPEAKER_01:

40.

SPEAKER_02:

Did I tell you guys that? Like so, like, it was a couple episodes like a while ago. Uh somebody broke into my mailbox and they took one of my brand, like I ordered a new card and they took it and tried to spend money.

SPEAKER_01:

No. No, I think you did say something on the episode.

SPEAKER_02:

That happened in the episode. I like the fucking notifications or whatever.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Anyways, I remember that. Um, it was a while ago, like maybe like a month or two ago. I got a call from a fucking police department, and they said that they found my mail on some guy. And I'm like, yeah, they tried to fucking use my card. They're like, Do you want to press charges? I'm like, yeah. They're like, alright, bye. So I don't know what the fuck happened with that guy, but Okay, I got a story for you.

SPEAKER_01:

This is somebody. This is my wife's army.

SPEAKER_02:

I hope he's in prison for life. Uh well, I don't know if they'll do that. Well, it's you know, mail you opened people's mail, you had a bunch of people's mail, so it is a felony, it's a federal crime.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, so here.

SPEAKER_01:

Not really. But here's uh here's a real story. So my wife was cruising around going to the house and CVS is down the road. She stops at CVS and she sees this guy. She doesn't know him, she doesn't recognize him, nothing. Just this guy sitting in his car beating his meat to her.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I remember this.

SPEAKER_01:

And she goes into the the store, I think she was getting alcohol or something, and then she comes back out and was like, she tells the the clerk, Hey, um, there's this guy out there, and he's you know touching himself. She goes, Well, we'll send somebody with you. So another uh dude goes out there and if I'm remembering the story right, he said he actually said some words the guy drove off. Right? He scared him off. So she tells me this and I'm like, Oh shit, man, you know, do you have his license plate number? Yeah, I have his license plate number. So uh something about me is I do have a really good memory. And so as I'm driving around, I have the license plate number in my head and found the car. It was my neighbor. And I was like, Are you fucking kidding me?

SPEAKER_03:

And that sucks.

SPEAKER_01:

So she did file a police report and they did catch him. But I will tell you the funniest part of her relaying the story to me is the detective being an older man and she's a young woman. The detective is very uncomfortable when he's asking her these questions. And it's which is funny to me. But he's like, Well, was he fully exposed? And she goes, Well, no, just like you know, one part of him. And he goes, Was it um was it uh erect or flaccid? And she goes, Well, uh, it was me, so it was wrecked. I don't think she actually said that, but that's how she told the story to me. And it made me laugh. And then they did catch the guy, and she was like, You gotta like ban him from the house because the house is like really close to a school. I was like, This is a an actual sex crime, and so they were like, No, we can't force him to move, but if he moves, he could be because he was forced to register. And uh, if he moves, they won't let him move next to another school.

SPEAKER_02:

And I think he did Will you survive survival tip? Uh tint your windows. No, why no? No, no. I go to the body. Look at the nosy people all looking at what you're doing.

SPEAKER_01:

Jeez.

SPEAKER_03:

I mean That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01:

I can't believe you would give such terrible advice. The real advice is limo tint your back windows and sit in the back.

SPEAKER_02:

See? You gotta really think about you know what you how you're doing it, you know.

SPEAKER_01:

That's exactly right. We do next recommendation.

SPEAKER_02:

Make sure you got a limo tent. Sit in the back.

SPEAKER_01:

I'll tell you flat out, with no limo tent, I've done stuff with a partner in parking lots and at the beach and tennis courts and crowded parks.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't think I'd want to do it on the beach.

SPEAKER_01:

There's sand.

SPEAKER_03:

I get worried about the sandwich. Everywhere. Yeah, I get worried about that.

SPEAKER_01:

You can it if you do it right, it doesn't get into it.

SPEAKER_02:

I wouldn't. If you do it wrong, you wouldn't fucking get a pearl fucking nine months later. I wouldn't. All that fucking sand and shit.

SPEAKER_03:

You know how clumsy I am?

SPEAKER_01:

He says a pearl nine months later. Listen to this guy. I've never had that problem.

SPEAKER_02:

There's gonna be a ph you get it? Because, you know, classes.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my god! It was supposed to be something left to the imagination of the listener, but you took care of that.

SPEAKER_02:

That's what I'm here for.

SPEAKER_01:

That is what you're here for. You are our what did what did ChatGPT call you? You were the uh you weren't the comedic relief.

SPEAKER_02:

I think it said you were Let me let me ask Jim and I read.

SPEAKER_01:

Guiding us. You guided us back to reality and podcast will you survive.

SPEAKER_02:

Eric laughed for me.

SPEAKER_00:

The podcast is a horror comedy film review show that analyzes popular disaster and horror movies through the lens of survival preparedness. Hosted by Alex, Eric, and TJ. The show strikes a balance between sport takes on cinema and practical or hilariously impractical advice on how to handle life-threatening scenarios.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, I didn't ask for a whole ass fucking That was pretty good though. The fact that it knows who we are is great.

SPEAKER_01:

You like it? I kinda like that. But it's a uh brand new year. Do you guys do any resolution type shit?

SPEAKER_02:

No. I I I just made one like a couple hours ago with Eric. What was it again? My so, you know, so we don't have to do this. You know? We I would just make like I would like cut out funny moments, put it into a project tab, and then next year on the first, I'll drop like will you survive funniest moments type shit.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, that would be good.

SPEAKER_02:

But I want it to be, you know, like an hour-long thing. So I'm gonna start working on that.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, well, that's awesome because that's like in line with my wife's resolution for us is that we tried this last year, we made it through January and stopped. So this year, we gotta at least make it into one week of February, and then we're we're on an upward scale, which is every week write something good that happened.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, actually I do have one. Uh I'm learning how to draw, so I'm gonna draw every day, which so far since I got my uh stuff on Christmas, I have, so we'll see how good I get.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm also anticipating uh starting lives again. I have some content, I have some long-running things that can be done. I'm thinking uh 2026 is the year.

SPEAKER_02:

And um no more gappardy.

SPEAKER_01:

Um maybe one more.

SPEAKER_02:

No more gappardy.

SPEAKER_01:

Maybe a half.

SPEAKER_02:

Said it last time, no more gapardy.

SPEAKER_01:

Like the fans, the fans really want it.

SPEAKER_02:

It's really holding up the whole, you know, podcast at this point, and I think that, you know, that being the case is just it's too much, you know. We can't we can't have that.

SPEAKER_01:

Because we can't match the notoriety.

SPEAKER_02:

You know, it's just it we just gotta come up with you know better ideas than Gebardy. Who does who does that, you know?

SPEAKER_01:

We do. We do.

SPEAKER_02:

Now we're turning into a Reddit reading channel. This is uh we're reading Reddit every time. Ten episodes. Every time. I'm gonna get so good at reading. Every time.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm gonna get so good at reading.

SPEAKER_01:

25 episodes a week. If you just got moderately better, it would be great. Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

That's the first time I spoke in like three minutes.

SPEAKER_02:

But yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

2026. Here we come.

SPEAKER_02:

2026, and uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Maybe our listeners are in the middle. Maybe our listeners will tell us what uh they'd like to see from us or hear.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, make sure you check us out on all of our social platforms. Make sure you check us out on you know Twitter.

SPEAKER_01:

TikTok.

SPEAKER_02:

And until next time, no. Just Twitter. That's just Twitter.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03:

We didn't even call it what it's actually called.

SPEAKER_01:

I know, it's not even the right name. Go check us out on Twitter. This isn't from 2016.

SPEAKER_02:

This is this is from 2016. We're recording in the past.

SPEAKER_01:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

We're actually all good. We did not see that.

SPEAKER_03:

Y'all ever seen a y'all ever seen a nuclear fusion reaction and like working and think I could survive that. Always. 50 million degrees Celsius? Easy.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, they don't know how hot I am.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I I I would cool that place down. Wait, no, I I'd heat that place up. Wait a minute. Like, fuck!

SPEAKER_02:

Fuck it. We're heating guys! We gotta throw something cold in the f we gotta throw something cold. Get Eric! He's the opposite of hot. Arnar. Arnar. All right, nuclear fusion.

SPEAKER_03:

I shouldn't have said anything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Nice try.

SPEAKER_01:

Nice try.

SPEAKER_02:

But yeah, guys, thank you guys for listening to this episode of Lee's Fry the podcast. You could see us next time on Friday in the new year, 2026, baby, and until 2027, stay alive.

Contributor

Alex

Co-host
Contributor

Erik

Co-host
Contributor

TJ

Co-host