Will You Survive... The Podcast
Immerse yourself in the world of cinema as we embark on a journey to equip you with the skills to tackle any disaster head-on. Through the lens of thrilling tales, particularly those of the zombie apocalypse, we'll unravel the secrets of preparedness. Join us as we explore the silver screen to empower you for the challenges that lie ahead.
Will You Survive... The Podcast
The Tactical Trivia Gauntlet Part 1
A mall under siege, a rooftop helicopter you might miss, a silverback gorilla staring down a crowd, a farmhouse whispering your name, and a lifeboat that turns a tarp into a lifeline this one takes our Season Five highlights and turns them into a tactical survival game. We put our own debates on trial: Did the survivors in Dawn of the Dead wait too long to claim the roof? Is human coordination the underrated superpower in any “100 vs 1” scenario? Can composure be a stronger exorcism tool than any artifact? And how often does a humble tarp outclass the gear we romanticize?
We keep the stakes high and the tone sharp, awarding “gear” for right answers and “skills” for clever callbacks. Along the way, we unpack why early decisions compound, why elevation buys time and information, and how coordinated roles beat raw numbers. The Conjuring 3 thread pushes us on calm under pressure because rituals only work when your brain does. Life of Pi reminds us that versatility wins on the water, and Pandora teaches us to read environmental cues like a language: when the wildlife moves, follow.
By the Final Extraction, our kit looks surprisingly practical: bioluminescent navigation for blackouts, deterrents that buy seconds (not miracles), distraction tools, salt boundaries, a reliable map, and twin tarps that solve more problems than they should. More important than the gear are the mindsets we earn high-ground awareness, tactical unity, mental fortitude, and ecological intuition. If you love pop culture but want takeaways you can actually use, you’ll find them here, tucked between the jokes and the trapdoors.
If this made you think or yell answers at your phone tap follow, share it with a friend who argues about bite force, and drop your go-to survival move in a review.
Hello, survivors, and welcome to another episode of Will You Survive the Podcast? That, my friends, is our melodic entry where we are going to be doing a tactical survival game. This is part trivia, part roleplay, including some popular culture, but everything has to do with season five of Will You Survive the Podcast? What kind of roleplay? Well, that's to be decided. I can't give you the answer yet. That would ruin the fun. To play this game, I have uh my co-hosts here. That's Eric. Hello. And that's TJ. ShmaBulok. Behind the scenes, uh, these guys decided they want to start out this game as a team.
SPEAKER_03:ShmaBulog. Sorry. We did decide that. Um Alex explained like all the rules and shit before before we went to the game.
SPEAKER_01:So many rules to remember.
SPEAKER_03:I yeah, I'm I'm so serious when I say I really was trying to listen to.
SPEAKER_00:Answer the questions wrong, you may suffer consequences.
SPEAKER_03:See, if you said Is that really difficult? If you said it like that, that makes sense, but you actually went on like a 10-minute instructional manual. You guys just weren't listening on how to do it. And it was not many million minutes. It was if you asked the chat, it was it was a long time.
SPEAKER_00:It was not a long time.
SPEAKER_03:You did not explain it that succinctly. See, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01:Jeez, Sam says wrong answer, hot wax.
SPEAKER_00:Get your ADD under control. That is not the kind of roleplay we're doing.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know what HD is, but my doctor said I got 80 of them bitches.
SPEAKER_00:That's right. That's right. Okay. First question. Let's get this puppy rolling. Okay. Okay. Uh each correct answer earns a survival item or a skill, if you will. Bonus points for quoting the episode or referencing podcast banter.
SPEAKER_03:Now, when you say quoting the episode, do you mean the name of the episode or the exact quote that was said?
SPEAKER_00:No, you're not going to name the episode because I'm going to tell you the episode.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, I was going to say because there's no shot I remember those names.
SPEAKER_00:No, the title isn't necessary, but if you quote from the episode, something one of us said. You gotta get close. I'm not gonna hold you guys to double quoting here. Alright?
SPEAKER_03:Alright. I feel like I could do well in this. We'll see.
SPEAKER_00:This is a pop culture prep check. Episode was Dawn of the Dead 2004. That's the newscast, if you recall. Question one. In the WIS breakdown, what was identified as the most critical early mistake made by survivors in the mall? A. Not securing all entrances. B trusting strangers too quickly. C failing to ration supplies. Or D ignoring the rooftop advantage. Now remember, this was a discussion that we all had.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like it's A, because anytime we talk about a mall, we always talk about how hard it would be to be specifically talking about that movie.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. What they did in that movie.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, they technically secure although I don't know, I feel like that wouldn't have really held. Emily's busy right now.
SPEAKER_01:She's under the desk. Good quote. That's a quote.
SPEAKER_00:That is a quote.
SPEAKER_01:By Mr. Alex himself. Now, um, I do agree, Eric, that's not like it's a good quote. Remember how we were like totally over my head. Well, yeah, back to you, Jonathan. Yeah. Back to you, Amber.
SPEAKER_00:Back to you, Emily. And I said, um, it's Alex. Emily is under the desk right now.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah, like a Clinton joke. She's not doing it like that. She's but that is great. Ha. Um I see. I feel like misogynist out here. Okay. Zombie Apocalypse. Could be it.
SPEAKER_00:Wow. Wow.
SPEAKER_03:Derek. I feel like I was saying you have to trust people that early because like you need numbers. And you can poll the audience.
SPEAKER_00:You guys can talk to anybody. This is a team exercise.
SPEAKER_01:All I got is saying when she said e all of the above.
SPEAKER_00:All of the above. There is one answer. And we did talk about this.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so think about it. They did use rooftop advantage. Yes. Okay. So that gets rid of that one.
SPEAKER_03:But I think the qu the answer was saying that it we're not fast enough.
SPEAKER_00:We said ignoring the rooftop advantage.
SPEAKER_03:Oh no, they used it. Um they used it quite a bit. So I would say that one's gone. I think as much as A sounds like it, I think you're right. We could probably eliminate that one. I'm kind of leaning towards rationing supplies.
SPEAKER_01:Hmm. They were kind of going like sicko mode with shit.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, because they didn't they immediately kind of knew they were gonna leave it.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like we talked about how like they didn't mention or like show them eating or anything.
SPEAKER_03:No, they did. They well, they showed them drinking.
SPEAKER_00:And they had that whole like dinner scene.
SPEAKER_03:They did.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, they were all sitting around the table when the lead character was saying um what he what job he was worst at and what job he was the best at.
SPEAKER_03:Um I could see that one. What was the what was the fourth option?
SPEAKER_00:Ignoring the rooftop advantage. So not securing all entrances, trusting strangers too quickly, failing to ration supplies, ignoring the rooftop advantage.
SPEAKER_03:Ah, I mean B kind of sounds more like the right answer, but I want to go with C.
SPEAKER_00:You guys tell me what your answer is.
SPEAKER_03:What do you think, TJ? Can I pull the audience? What is the audience on WIS saying?
SPEAKER_01:Hey Gemini, flip a coin. I'm seeing a lot of uh puppet movie. Okay, so's Tails. So second option.
SPEAKER_03:Which is Oh hang on, hang on. Xana Maze says B. It's B because they brought in a group of survivors that had the fat the Oh, wait, wait, they're right. It's B because they brought in a group of survivors that had the fat zombie who was already bitten.
SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah, I fucking remember that now, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Wait, so what was it B then?
SPEAKER_01:I feel like yeah, because what we talked about, guys.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, what we talked about.
SPEAKER_00:I feel what we said, and remember this was you guys were doing it as newscasters in the we didn't say we didn't say shit about rationing during the newscaster stuff.
SPEAKER_03:I'm pretty certain it's B then.
SPEAKER_01:I mean Eric was an alcoholic.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, we like there was no thought of rationing. I I I started drinking heavy during that episode. So you guys agree? Yeah, I think I'm gonna go with I think I'm gonna go with B. B.
SPEAKER_00:No, guys, it was actually ignoring the rooftop advantage. Both of you were complaining that they waited so long to go up to the rooftop, and by the time they got up to the rooftop, the helicopter had already left. Yeah, Eric. Yes. They they wrote that SOS up on the roof, but like by the time they were writing the SOS, it was like they were trying to finish it up, and the helicopter was already like flying overhead and going away. And we were talking about how how many other helicopters passed by them in that whole time that they were sitting inside not doing anything.
SPEAKER_03:I don't remember that at all. Not even a bit. Good thing I got that question right.
SPEAKER_00:But I will give you a partial answer because I do like the rationing, the rationing, the rationalization of trusting strangers too quickly and letting somebody who was already bit, even though they didn't know, but you're getting partial credit for that.
SPEAKER_03:Alright, we'll take it.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. So you get points, but you don't get the you don't get the uh reward. TJ got points.
SPEAKER_01:How did TJ get points?
SPEAKER_00:TJ got the bonus points for recording the episode.
SPEAKER_03:Good thing we're on a team.
SPEAKER_00:Um, you know what? So then I'm going to cancel those out and just give you guys the skill. So because TJ answered with the bonus points and you guys got partial credit, uh, I'm gonna give you the the reward, which is high ground awareness. Oh. You guys can avoid ambush in the future scenarios.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:That's not that's not foreshadowing anything, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_00:No, not at all. There's no way. Okay. In the episode Man vs. Beast, could 100 humans defeat a gorilla? The question, according to the podcast, what is the most underestimated factor in this hypothetical battle? Opposable thumbs. A, the gorilla's bite force. B, human coordination, C, gorilla's speed, D, terrain advantage.
SPEAKER_03:What was the question? What was the most according to the podcast?
SPEAKER_00:What is the most underestimated factor in this hypothetical battle?
SPEAKER_03:I think human coordination was what we said, right? We did talk about terrain because we were saying, like, if you put a gorilla in an empty room with a hundred men, it immediately loses, but maybe in like a jungle, I'm pretty sure man loses. But I don't think that was what we were saying was like the sorry, one more time to question. What's the exact wording of that?
SPEAKER_00:What is the most underestimated factor in this hypothetical battle?
SPEAKER_03:I don't think we underestimated that. I think what we what I at least underestimated was human coordination.
SPEAKER_00:That's why I I'll tell you this. Don't try to overthink the questions. These are it's pulling from the transcripts and what we actually said. So don't don't, it's not a trick question. The question comes from the transcripts and it's worded specifically.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I think the most underestimated factor is the size of the gorilla's penis, which is about three centimeters. That's true. No, that's overestimated.
SPEAKER_00:That was the overestimated. This is what is the most underestimated factor. No, no, I understand hypothetical battle.
SPEAKER_01:Which we talked about.
SPEAKER_03:We did talk about it. I thought it was two centimeters.
SPEAKER_01:It's like 1.5 to 3.
unknown:Damn.
SPEAKER_00:TJ's hung like a silverback gorilla. A gorilla's bite force. B, human coordination, C, gorilla's speed, D, terrain advantage.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like it's B. Talk to us, TJ. I don't think it's terrain advantage.
SPEAKER_03:Um, I don't either. And I don't think it's the other ones.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like speed might be what the fuck is that?
SPEAKER_03:See, I'm not gonna lie to talk about these questions are too great. I don't think we did. Because uh, we immediately were talking about it and we were like, yeah, it's fucking fact.
SPEAKER_00:Do you think you underestimated the gorilla's bite force?
SPEAKER_03:I don't think so. I think we know that thing can chomp you. But in our conversations, yeah, I'm so curious how you got these questions because I'm not liking these questions. I just don't know.
SPEAKER_00:You don't like any questions.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, because you ask weird questions.
SPEAKER_01:Alex, for the last time, can you read out the question?
SPEAKER_00:What is the most underestimated factor in this hypothetical battle? And I've given you the fucking answer by now. I think it's B. And then what are the what are the gorilla's bite force, human coordination, gorilla's speed, terrain, advantage?
SPEAKER_01:Human coordination.
SPEAKER_03:That's what I think.
SPEAKER_00:You guys both agree. Yeah, yes, that is correct.
SPEAKER_03:Wow. So when I said human coordination, and then you decided to to let me just let you guys know. Don't overthink the question. So you're just trying to throw me off?
SPEAKER_00:No, I was talking to TJ. Oh. Well, and then you started questioning you started, you started uh if you question him, you question me. You started over like overthinking it at that point. You already had the right fucking answer, and then you were like gonna go away from it.
SPEAKER_03:I wasn't gonna go away from it. I was stuck on it. Yeah, pardon me. I feel confident we got one right. What's our power?
SPEAKER_00:And you guys, you guys got the bonus too, because the three centimeters.
SPEAKER_01:Hung like a gorilla, baby.
SPEAKER_03:Do we get uh is our bonus power that we now have we're not gonna be like gorillas?
SPEAKER_00:Your reward is tactical unity. You guys can combine your gear in round four. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Also, as a black man, I don't really think I should say I'm hung. I think there's a really bad connotation with that. That's you know yeah, you know, you could say that.
SPEAKER_03:Oh my lord. Meaning one thing and accidentally saying another. Caution, he's black. Caution, warning, even I am black. You should get that tattooed.
SPEAKER_00:Don't censor us.
SPEAKER_03:You know, you know, like those warning symbols like the triangles.
SPEAKER_01:I think I should I should add the TJ sound effect every time I say that.
SPEAKER_00:Don't censor, don't censor him, TikTok. He's black.
SPEAKER_01:You know, like a fucking siren. I'm ready. We should do that. We should get a lady to do it.
SPEAKER_00:I'm gonna start calling him ninjato. Caution, TJ is black. Get your wife to do it. Like in the voice of the like in the voice of the portal robot. Or backup. Thank you for sharing. All right. Next question comes from the Conjuring 3 Demonic Defense.
SPEAKER_01:Uh fuck.
SPEAKER_00:What survival lesson was drawn from the real life possession case? A. Always carry holy water. B, trust your instincts. C, stay calm under pressure. D, avoid basements.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like it was D. I feel like it's avoid basements. Uh yeah. That sounds like something we were talking about.
SPEAKER_03:No, a third one.
SPEAKER_01:Third one? Right?
SPEAKER_00:It's the third one.
SPEAKER_03:What was the third one? The third one was the devil made me do it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I'm going for bonus points here. I I don't think I can reference Yeah, what was a quote we said? I don't know. The only thing I remember from that one is the scene where the dudes actually that when the devil makes him do it. The devil indeed made him do it, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, we mentioned something about how this was the first time in court that uh the court acknowledged the existence of the devil.
SPEAKER_00:But did they?
SPEAKER_03:Is that a close enough quote? Yeah, because he got a lesser sentence for it, right? They successfully proved well, maybe they what maybe they pleaded insanity.
SPEAKER_00:No, they did not allow the defense for the devil made me do it, but they were successfully able to argue uh from down from murder to the city.
SPEAKER_01:I was annoyed in that episode because at the start, because like they just like completely ignore the fact that bro, like the kid because it went from the kid to the dude, right? And they just ignored the fact, like she's seen the shit happen, and then they're just like, eh, it's probably fine.
SPEAKER_03:I can't think well, okay. Here's a quote I remember saying um in that episode uh never invite a demon to possess you. You're you're not going to you're not going to save anybody by doing that. You're only gonna make things worse.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Close enough.
SPEAKER_03:Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um now I can be your engine.
SPEAKER_03:I think I think it's D, but also there's no basements in this movie, right? Besides the underground tunnels, really. I guess you could call that a basement. Because there was like the the Reverend's basement that led to the tunnels. I mean, let's just go with Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Alright, uh yeah, let's let's go with D.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. That is wrong.
SPEAKER_03:I kind of thought so.
SPEAKER_00:It was stay calm under pressure, and I actually said that.
SPEAKER_03:We weren't listening.
SPEAKER_00:I was going to give you credit for getting it right because that is a direct quote. That was something that I had said. The survival aspect of this movie that we could take away from it is you need to stay calm under pressure. Look at how Home Dude, uh, playing Ed Warren, was really quite um, he was put on his heels. You remember when that corpse got up and was charging at him?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah. And he was still like calm when he was all I could think about is how I said Ed and Elizabeth Warren in a different episode. Yeah, that's all I could think about.
SPEAKER_00:That was you did say that.
SPEAKER_01:That was in Geopardy.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, well, you guys got that wrong, but you did get the bonus point. So I am willing to ask you a follow-up question regarding, or actually, I'm sorry, not follow-up question. I want to give you guys a chance to um to answer a scenario of Mr. Host. You can get the points.
SPEAKER_03:This game is hard.
SPEAKER_01:Shut up. I wanna go home.
SPEAKER_00:Do you want to go for the points? Or you just gonna leave it?
SPEAKER_01:Let's go for the points. Yeah, fuck it, why not? Let's go for the points.
SPEAKER_00:Okay for the points. So I'm gonna guess that TJ's gonna defer to you, Eric. Why? Because it's related to the Conjuring 3. Oh. And if you were to be in a situation where you had to perform an exorcism. Oh shit. What items would you want with you?
SPEAKER_03:Ah, five. Holy water. Shit. So here's the thing. The bite. Here's the thing. Honestly, holy water, I don't think that's an actual thing. Maybe I'm wrong, but that is not what I think you need.
SPEAKER_00:What do you think the reaction is based on if it's not on the holy water? I I I think it's just the word of God.
SPEAKER_01:Well, when you're blessing holy water, the atoms of holiness actually intermingle with the hydrogen and oxygen in the water. Crazy. Back to reality called holy water.
SPEAKER_03:I personally maybe I'm wrong because I genuinely don't know much about exorcisms, as fascinating as they are. Um I really don't know that much about them, like in reality. Uh I feel like holy water is more of just a Catholic thing. I don't think that's actually necessary in exorcisms.
SPEAKER_01:Or I feel like I would want to demons or Christian demons.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like I would want my Bible and I maybe a cross, but other than that, I don't know what else you would really need besides God.
SPEAKER_01:I keep my copy of the Quran handy for the djinn.
SPEAKER_00:Quick way to get possessed. Um, I will give it to you. What what it uh uh I would tell you is most cultures reference that these rituals are claimed to actually work. Um but they're based on rites and rituals. And what it typically is referred to is the faith of the person and their use of that item, their faith in God that God will empower that item to work in the manner that they are using it.
SPEAKER_03:That's why I feel like you mostly like that's why holy water.
SPEAKER_00:I feel like well, I feel like if you have if the priest is like really believes in the rights that God empowers them through those rites and rituals, then I think it would work.
SPEAKER_03:Well, that's when I feel like you wouldn't even need that. Like you have your Bible, you have the word of God, and did didn't Jesus say um to cast out demons in his name?
SPEAKER_00:I give you the power to heal the sick, raise the dead, and cast out demons.
SPEAKER_03:He didn't say with holy water or with a cross. He just said that. So I but I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:In the guy, and he's like, Well, there's one thing that we can use to get him out of there. Read, nigga, read! And he holds a book and he's like, Alright, start beating him with whatever you got, and he pulls out a belt and starts whipping them. Okay.
SPEAKER_03:So wait, what what's that what's that book? Windswept house or about the exorcism.
SPEAKER_00:Well, there's a bunch. Windswept house is about the corruption in the Catholic Church.
SPEAKER_03:No, what's no, there there's one, Dr. Scott.
SPEAKER_00:Hostage to the Narnia is the one that maybe there's hostage to the devil, there's the demonologist.
SPEAKER_03:Chronicles of Narnia? Fuck off.
SPEAKER_01:As Lane is Jesus, you can't change from mind.
SPEAKER_00:There's uh yeah, but that's not about oh um um not about possession. You might be talking about holy blood, holy grail.
SPEAKER_03:No, maybe I I was thinking of Windswept House.
SPEAKER_00:I mean Windswept House was the the it was from a priest's perspective on the corruption in the Catholic Church, which was the demonic takeover of the church. I mean, it was really wicked demonic activity.
SPEAKER_03:Wasn't there a book that like went into detail about exorcism? Bert's hostage to the devil. Burt and Ernie go to Compton?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that was uh Malcolm. Shut up. Why why why do demons have to be in Compton only? Burt and Ernie. What kind of racist is this?
SPEAKER_01:We're not in Sesame Street anymore, Ernie.
SPEAKER_00:You guys ready for the next question?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, let's move on. Cookie monsters there. Hey niggas, that nigga blue.
SPEAKER_00:Dude, you're gonna get us fucking banned right now.
SPEAKER_01:I'm looking, I'm looking forward to it.
SPEAKER_00:Life of Pie. Lifeboat logic. What item was deemed most versatile for survival on the lifeboat? Fishing kit, tarp, compass, tiger repellent.
SPEAKER_03:Uh, tarp. Easy. Tarp. Tarp equals map, tarp equals blanket, tarp equals shelter.
SPEAKER_01:And and I would like to reference the fact that that entire episode I was like. He's gonna mention religion. He's gonna mention religion. Fuck! Because you never didn't. And we did not. Even though that's a big part of the fucking movie.
SPEAKER_00:Just so you guys know, the bonus point is named or the the the reward you guys earned the tarp of tenacity. Yes. Okay. This is uh a multi-use map of tenacity. This is a multi-use gear. It can be repurposed. Should we be writing this down? Scenario. No. Okay. You don't need to.
SPEAKER_01:I was like, do I gotta get out my end character sheet or what?
SPEAKER_00:I got you covered from my end. I'm just it's just whether you guys get the point or not that I have to do.
SPEAKER_01:Right when it's repurposed, this sounds like some DD shit. It could be repurposed into anything.
SPEAKER_00:We're um we've been doing this uh this role-playing stuff a little bit, and I want to get my feet wet in it.
SPEAKER_03:It could okay, let's pick different words. Yeah, see, I knew that's where that was gonna go.
SPEAKER_00:What the hell?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's the type of roleplay we're doing.
SPEAKER_00:What would you want to get wet?
SPEAKER_01:You're Aquaman, and I'm a helpless seal.
SPEAKER_03:What are we even saying? Move on, move on. Next question. Did we get it right? Yeah, we got the map. Move on.
SPEAKER_00:Also, wouldn't it make more sense for Aquaman to be bald since he's smart?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, because we're gonna tarp of tenacity, it could be anything, and obviously we're gonna make it a map.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, okay, all right. All right, in this episode, it's Avatar, Pandora Survival. What environmental cue was emphasized as vital for survival on Pandora? Bioluminescence, animal migration patterns, tree height, or air quality?
SPEAKER_03:Okay, two things. One, I missed the question, so none of those answers made any sense to me. But two, it's because I was thinking about the quote. Uh the the quote was that you guys kept saying this was space Pocahontas. Okay, easy. I was gonna say that.
SPEAKER_00:Easy point. Um, what was the question? All right, what environmental cue was emphasized as vital for survival on Pandora? What environmental cue know the answer read the bioluminescence? Nope. Animal migration patterns, tree height? Nope. Or air quality?
SPEAKER_01:Nope. Tree hugging. No. Final answer. It's okay, Eric. Shut the fuck up. Nope. We didn't agree on it. Animal migration.
SPEAKER_00:Tree hugging it is. That is the wrong answer. Oh my god. It is animal migration.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's it's like when um when he first gets to the forest, I believe there's like, you know, once the real b shit comes out, you know, the one uh puma thing. Yep, they run away.
SPEAKER_00:Now, now just for for argument's sake, Eric's over here, I hate this game. Questions. Uh, you guys have only missed one point so far.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and that was stupid. You're stupid.
SPEAKER_00:The fact that you missed that one.
SPEAKER_03:Whoa, why are you hating on TJ like that?
SPEAKER_00:Just ridiculous.
SPEAKER_03:Why are you hating on TJ like that? What did he do to you?
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so this is what you guys gotta do. You're gonna face fictional survival scenarios inspired by season five. You're gonna choose you're gonna choose one of the three strategies and justify your choice. I'm going to award survival points based on your logic, creativity, and if you can throw in any pop culture references that might be a little extra. You ready?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, I think so. Thanks for the hat and mustache, Sam. Anyways.
SPEAKER_00:The scenario is a mall lockdown. This comes from Dawn of the Dead. So it's a mall lockdown, there's zombies outside, and there's a power outage. Do you barricade the second floor with mannequins? Do you escape via an underground tunnel, or do you climb to the roof and signal with flares?
SPEAKER_03:Oh fuck. All three of those options suck. Okay, I think barricading with mannequins is just a dumb idea, in my opinion. How is that gonna stop? Yeah, I don't see that stopping them at all, so I'm gonna say no on that one. Um going underground seems horrifying, and also trapping ourselves up on the roof seems horrifying.
SPEAKER_01:The worst levels in the last of us and shit.
SPEAKER_03:But also, we go to the roof. Let's say we're able to close the door and and and barricade it. Then what? You go to the roof and we we signal with flares and hope that something flies by and sees us and that they're gonna stop and get us. That is correct. I feel like tunnels are the only option, but that sounds horrifying.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Um, I feel like because the answer to one of the questions was not utilizing the roof. Fuck it. Let's go to the roof. Let's go roof.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Next one comes from man versus beast, 100 humans versus silverback gorilla. Would you uh operate in uh concentric distraction circles, use environmental barriers, trees, uh, rocks, uh, would you try psychological mimicry?
SPEAKER_01:I like the concentric circle thing. Well, I'm not gonna mimic it because it's just gonna get real racial um if I start banging on my chest. Um although that would do numbers on Vine.
SPEAKER_03:I mean Yes, it would.
SPEAKER_00:If we play some if we play some berry manilo while you do that, it might work.
SPEAKER_01:Get it Vine, because it's a job. I think the real uh the real answer is twist his dick.
SPEAKER_02:Grab his dick and twist it!
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my god. It's a UFC fire. The old dick twist. The old dick twist. Twist his dick! Oh my god.
unknown:The old dick twist.
SPEAKER_01:Anyway, all right.
SPEAKER_00:So which one are you going? Concentric distraction circles, environmental barriers, psychological mimicry.
SPEAKER_03:The environmental barriers, I feel like a gorilla is just going to either throw the rock away over the rock. I don't think so. I think hear me out. Uh that sounds like a great idea. Bears, right? Consider that.
SPEAKER_01:That's a bear. You stand tall, you bean loud, right? So for which bear? Huh? For which bear? If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. And if it's exactly so it's not the bears.
SPEAKER_03:If it's a brown bear, you do not want to make a lot of noise. It's a brown bear. I could sleep a fucking brown bear.
SPEAKER_00:There's dinner.
SPEAKER_03:No, if it's a brown bear, you don't want to make noise because yeah, exactly. He's just going, oh wow, my dinner's letting me know where he is. I would certainly pretend you don't exist with a brown bear.
SPEAKER_01:I would Mike Tyson a fucking brown bear. And you would die. You would end up like the revenant. I would be inside that motherfucker for warmth after I'm bleeding out, but guess what? I still won the fight. You'd be inside his stomach. Bitch, it'd be like brother bear in this bitch. I would then gain the spirit of the bear and have to take care of its cub. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you lose to a brown bear.
SPEAKER_04:Keny!
SPEAKER_02:What are you gonna choose with a silver back gorilla?
SPEAKER_03:It's not a brown bear. Which is also not a bear and highly territorial.
SPEAKER_01:Well, it would see me and it was it would think that I was with it.
SPEAKER_03:I'm gonna go concentric circles.
SPEAKER_01:Concentric circles, I think, is actually the right answer.
SPEAKER_03:Because when he said that, I was just like, wow, that's Sounds like a good idea.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Then I'm awarding points by the way as we're going. Next is the Conjuring Three.
SPEAKER_03:I got this.
SPEAKER_00:Haunted farmhouse voice whispers your name. Do you create a salt circle? Confront the voice? Trap the entity with a mirror.
SPEAKER_03:Uh D run away. What? You can't. You can't run away. And these are the three options we're thinking of?
SPEAKER_01:Yep. Does it whisper does it whisper my government name or TJ?
SPEAKER_03:That's a fair question.
SPEAKER_00:The one that would scare you the most.
SPEAKER_03:So it's the Emmy.
SPEAKER_01:Anyways. Oh my god, a ghost! And it's like a pointy head. Oh my god, a racist ghost.
SPEAKER_02:It could put a pebble on his head.
SPEAKER_03:It's like, oh my god, a racist. He's like, boo!
SPEAKER_02:Oh my god, a racist ghost!
SPEAKER_01:Um trap it with a fucking mirror. What the I look like? I I've never heard that one. You trap it with a mirror.
SPEAKER_03:The salt saker shake or the salt circle feels like that actually wouldn't do anything. It's not a fucking vampire. Um well vampires aren't afraid of salt. What's don't you sprinkle salt at your entrances for vampires or something?
SPEAKER_01:Well, vampires, if you let them in, then they come in. Yeah, you have to invite them in. I'm gonna have sinners as our one of our next coaster salt.
SPEAKER_02:Uh what was the what was B? Confront the voice. Yo, ninja. Where's D? Grab your yeah, like leave.
SPEAKER_00:Uh I would do salt circle. But the problem with leaving is they'll just follow you. Where's D? Grab your Bible. No, I'm I'm I'm purposefully screwing you guys. Where's grab the B, grab your Quran? I'm I'm making it, I'm making it harder on you. So you're going salt circle, right? Where's F? Start your Muslim prayer. Okay. All right, in life of Pi, lifeboat. Oh, some of the on board anyway. Storm approaching. Build a shelter, tame the tiger, or jump and tether.
SPEAKER_01:There was no taming that tiger.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you're not gonna have enough time if the storm is approaching. Well, give me the give me the options again.
SPEAKER_00:Build a shelter, tame the tiger, jump and tether. I think it's C.
SPEAKER_01:If this is life a pie, there's nothing to really build a shelter with other than climbing into the little food storage under the tarp, which is the tiger's den. You can't really tame the tiger, so yeah, jump and tie yourself. I'm gonna go see, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And in Avatar, you crash landed on Pandora. Do you follow bioluminescent trails? Climb a tree, build a signal fire.
SPEAKER_03:Am I one of the blue guys?
SPEAKER_00:You have to be, kinda, right? I mean we won't be able to do that. I guess you could be, I guess you could be in the suit.
SPEAKER_01:Uh climb a tree using the rules of Avatar. You gotta get high ground. You gotta agree. You gotta put the the fire out, or else the shit will find you, and then most of the shit on the ground is trying to kill you at night. Um, so yeah, climb a tree. Climb into one of those leaf things, those little hammocks, which looks so cold. Like there's no like insulation to that.
SPEAKER_00:You're just like open, exposed. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I feel very good right now. Could I plug my penis into Awa?
SPEAKER_00:I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:But I'm pretty sure that's what that hair is. Yeah, can I plug my penis into the spirit tree? I need to know.
SPEAKER_00:But what I will tell you is You connect your pubes. This is the first time you guys didn't get first time you didn't get maximum point. Oh because what she taught him was connecting your pubes to No, she taught him to put out the fire and follow the bioluminescent trail.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah, and then climb a tree. I mean Yeah, they did a lot of climbing trees, I gotta say, but okay you got some points.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. You ready?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So now in this round, we are going to do uh rapid fire, and there are trapdoor challenges. So if you guys get this wrong, uh you're gonna be more screwed than you want to be. You ready? Alexa by 21 bullets. You're gonna face the uh trivia questions. Let me make sure I I did this right. Let me make sure I did this right.
SPEAKER_01:Alexa play black hole by Eric Sallas. Someone's left.
SPEAKER_00:You're gonna face these trivia questions, and a wrong answer activates the trapdoor. Okay. Again, you get bonus points for quoting the podcast. So if you quote us that episode, you can save yourself from the trapdoor.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:If you get the the question wrong.
SPEAKER_03:And if we go through the trapdoor, did you say that?
SPEAKER_00:If you go through the trapdoor, you're gonna face the consequence. Okay. What I have waiting for you.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, how fun. All right.
SPEAKER_00:Um, actually, I'm sorry, there's more to it. Bonus points for quoting the podcast, referencing real world survival tactics, or improvising under pressure. Ready?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I guess so.
SPEAKER_00:And if you survive these uh scenarios, you also get a um if you survive all of the scenarios, you get a uh plot armor. You get plot armor tokens.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:You ready?
SPEAKER_03:And can we use those said tokens later?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, in the next round.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_00:Next, next and uh final round. What was the most overlooked threat inside of the mall? The most overlooked threat inside of the mall.
SPEAKER_03:I want to say zombie baby.
SPEAKER_00:Infection spread via wounds, human betrayal, lack of food, generator failure. What was the most overlooked threat inside of the mall?
SPEAKER_03:I would say human betra. Well, I'm kind of stuck between human betrayal and what was A?
SPEAKER_00:Infection spread via wounds. That one. You think that was overlooked?
SPEAKER_03:Either that or uh Well, no, that wasn't overlooked because they they kind of mentioned that when he cut himself at the fountain, I think.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like generator. I don't think they were really worried about power. They weren't thinking about it.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, I I honestly I don't really know. I'll let you let's go with the generator one.
SPEAKER_00:I meant Can you quote? Can you quote the podcast? Give a real world scenario, real world survivor scenario from that episode?
SPEAKER_01:Um Eric is absolutely drunk right now. He's gotten into the bar. He keeps drinking and he just won't stop.
SPEAKER_03:I don't even care anymore. It's like, what are we even living for?
SPEAKER_00:Okay, fair enough.
SPEAKER_03:There are like ambulances and shit. Did you hear that explosion? Yeah, back to you, Tiffany. Fair enough.
SPEAKER_00:Now, on to the next. Uh there it is. What was the estimated bite force of a silverback gorilla? 800 PSI, 1300 PSI, 2000 PSI, or 600 PSI.
SPEAKER_01:800 sounds right. Can give me the answers again.
SPEAKER_00:800 PSI, 1300 PSI, 2000 PSI, 600 PSI.
SPEAKER_03:I feel like it's 800, but I have no actual knowledge to back that up. It's just a feeling.
SPEAKER_01:1300.
SPEAKER_03:Really?
SPEAKER_01:I don't know. It's the the the 1300 being there, and then the 2000.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, but that's why I think 800 and 600 are, and the way that 800 is A.
SPEAKER_01:600 is way too little, and 800 is just like two above that. I feel like 13.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, 200 above that, not just two. That's what I meant. 13 above it. But the bite, it's bite force.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Do you know how fucking strong a jaw is? Yeah, I'm pretty sure a crocodile's is like in the thousands. Yeah, so imagine the uh gorillas bite through like crocodiles have one of the strongest bites on the planet, I'm pretty sure. I think they're I think it's 800. I think there's a reason he went 800, 1300, 2600.
SPEAKER_01:Sam agrees with me. She said, shut up, Eric.
SPEAKER_03:It's 1300. If it's not 1300, what are you gonna do?
SPEAKER_01:He's gonna have to door. Yeah, what do you what do you want me to do, Eric? Do you do I could do a fucking forfeit for it? You know, do a backflip, I'll do it right now. If it's not 1300, if it's not 1300, I will literally lick Maddie's armpit.
SPEAKER_00:All right. It's not 1300. Well, go lick. I'm I'm I'm lying, but I want to see this. You're lying? Completely. Oh, so it is 1300.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, 3700. Uh that's what I thought. Yeah, I was right though. Crocodile still has a stronger bite force. It does still look at one of the strongest in the world.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's in that's they just don't have an opening force.
SPEAKER_00:That's their yeah, they have no opening force. You can hold it with your bare hand.
SPEAKER_01:Just duct tape will stop them.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, but once they bite down, yeah, and then they do the roll.
SPEAKER_01:You ever see that video of it biting another crocodile and spinning guys?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and ripping the arm off?
SPEAKER_01:Mm-hmm. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. That the death roll. Yeah, the death roll is crazy.
SPEAKER_00:All right, you ready? Yeah. Yeah. What survival tactic was emphasized in demonic possession scenarios? Holy water, staying calm, exorcism rituals, avoiding mirrors.
SPEAKER_03:So this is fucking stupid because it's either B or C.
SPEAKER_00:What's up with the mirrors? You keep putting up mirrors.
SPEAKER_03:Stupid. It's just fucking stupid because it's not the holy water thing. So what was B and C?
SPEAKER_00:B is staying calm, C is exorcism rituals.
SPEAKER_03:Even dumber. Because we literally talked about rituals and rites just now, and then we also fucking talked about uh what what was B? I'm really blanking here. Staying calm. Staying calm. Yeah, yeah, because I think that's fucking stupid. Staying calm.
SPEAKER_00:Staying calm. Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_01:Fuck am I gonna do look in a mirror? Go ghost. I had to reggae fucking Ariga. What? Sorry. Okay. I don't know what I'm on this episode. You ready?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I'm ready. In life of Pi, what item was most versatile on the lifeboat? Tarp.
SPEAKER_01:Give us the answers, please.
SPEAKER_00:You want it? Okay. Compass, tarp, fishing rod, tiger repellent.
SPEAKER_01:It was tarp. Tarp. Motherfucker did not fish at all, other than the flying fish getting into the boat. He was trying though. He didn't fucking pull nothing off, dude.
SPEAKER_00:He didn't. Let's be fair. He was he was in an aquatic desert. Most of the tile. The most what did I say? Oh, that went too far. That went too far.
SPEAKER_03:I'm pretty sure you said most versatile. Versatile. Yeah, I wouldn't describe that as very versatile.
SPEAKER_00:The tarp?
SPEAKER_03:No, the fishing rod.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah, no.
SPEAKER_03:What the fuck?
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Eric's just he's he's beefing this episode. He's like, that's such a stupid fucking thing. We already talked about that.
SPEAKER_00:Beefs every episode.
SPEAKER_02:Well, I had to like.
SPEAKER_03:And I somehow win so much. I don't, I really don't get it. I was thinking about it recently. How?
SPEAKER_01:Eric's just a certified beefer.
SPEAKER_03:You guys just like it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Here we go. This round is called Final Extraction. This is a season five mega mashup.
SPEAKER_03:And is this the one where we can combine our gear?
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So you have. Let me come on, wake up. You have you have a compass. We're gonna say it's a bioluminescent compass so that way we're not there's no darkness. You don't have to worry about it being dark in any room and you can't read the compass. So we're calling it a bioluminescent compass. Oh yeah. You have a I'm calling it a tiger deterrent spray, but to be fair, it's not for tigers. I got it because it was uh life of pie. So this will buy you time against any zombies or predators. Time only. Okay. Okay. It doesn't, it doesn't uh it won't keep them away. God damn it, stop things so twingey. And you guys have salt. Okay. You can make your own salt circle. For ghosts. You have a what I called a primate distraction kit, but it's not exclusively for primates. And you're gonna understand this in just a minute. But this is to distract any uh any predators coming at you, similar to the uh tiger deterrent spray. And you have the I I called it the mall map, but it's just a map. So you know exactly where you're going. So we have two tarps? Yes. Yes. That's crazy. You have all of that, and then you have the skills, you have the high ground awareness, you have the tactical unity, which means you guys can coordinate and share your gear. You have your mental fortitude, which means you can go into areas that have high paranormal activity and keep your sanity.
SPEAKER_03:Oh yeah. Just take my sanity.
SPEAKER_00:You have Oh wait, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Tactical unity means you guys uh working together as a team, you're um you're able to face this this scenario, this uh extraction together. You have the tarp of tenacity, which means you can combine all of your gear together. And you have eco intuition, which means you get to you can uh understand all of your surroundings better. You know what's all around you at all times. You said what can we do with the tarp? The tarp of the tarp of tenacity means you can uh combine all of your all of your gear together.
SPEAKER_03:Okay now we can combine all of our gear together.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you guys you you guys can basically think of it like um think of it like in Resident Evil, even if you choose to split up, you guys still have all of your safe room items.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So I'm not I'm not trying to coordinate who has what all the time, so I'm I'm really I really pushed for you guys to win that one so that I didn't have to keep track of who has what gear all the time.
