Will You Survive... The Podcast
Immerse yourself in the world of cinema as we embark on a journey to equip you with the skills to tackle any disaster head-on. Through the lens of thrilling tales, particularly those of the zombie apocalypse, we'll unravel the secrets of preparedness. Join us as we explore the silver screen to empower you for the challenges that lie ahead.
Will You Survive... The Podcast
W.Y.S Special News Broadcast: Dawn of the Dead (2004)
A mysterious epidemic sweeps across the nation as field reporters TJ Jackson and Eric Salas broadcast live from ground zero of what appears to be a full-blown zombie apocalypse. Their reports from a residential neighborhood outside Milwaukee and the Crossroads Mall paint a harrowing picture of civilization's rapid collapse.
As the situation deteriorates, our correspondents find themselves trapped alongside survivors in a shopping mall, transforming from professional journalists into increasingly unhinged commentators on humanity's last stand. Through gallows humor and astute observations, they document the survivors' desperate attempts to escape using improvised armored buses, complete with chainsaw slots and barbed wire – engineering choices that prove as dangerous as the undead themselves.
The broadcast captures both the horror of the situation and the absurd logic of zombie movie tropes, from unrealistically massive propane tank explosions to the selective intelligence of survivors who can engineer complex vehicles but can't figure out basic survival skills like water purification. All the while, anchor Alex (repeatedly misnamed throughout the broadcast) attempts to maintain journalistic standards as his field reporters succumb to panic, alcohol, and inappropriate commentary.
What begins as breaking news coverage gradually transforms into something more profound – a darkly comedic examination of how quickly social norms collapse when facing extinction. As the survivors make their final push toward a mysterious island that may offer salvation, listeners are left wondering: in an apocalypse where hell is full and the dead walk the earth, does anyone truly win?
For more apocalyptic analysis and survival strategies, find us wherever you get your podcasts, or connect with us on social media – assuming the internet survives the zombie hordes.
Good evening. This is Will you Survive? The Podcast with breaking coverage of what can only be described as a global crisis. Reports are pouring in of a mysterious epidemic sweeping across the nation, leaving devastation in its wake. For the latest updates, we have two field reporters stationed at key locations. We'll start with TJ Jackson, who's reporting live from what was once a bustling residential neighborhood just a few miles outside of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Tj, what can you tell us about the situation there?
Speaker 2:Thanks, alex. So the situation is quite dire. There are people running around screaming everywhere. I just seen a man get hit by an ambulance whilst aiming a gun at his neighbor. It was quite distasteful, uh, to see that my eyes are burning for some reason. Uh, I see, I seen this. I seen this lady. She ran out her house and, uh, I don't know how her front door got open, but it was open, and somehow her husband, who was a zombie, chased her out. Back to you, alex wow, thank you, tj.
Speaker 1:Truly harrowing picture you've painted there. Now we're going to turn to eric salas, who's reporting. Live from outside of the crossroads mall. Eric, what's the scene like there?
Speaker 3:thanks, alex. The scene here is, uh, horrible. As you can see, there's a zombie running well, we've started calling them zombies running straight towards us. Missing an arm, it seems that he must have lost it in some sort of conflict earlier, and it looks like we have civilians firing gunshots at these infected as we break into the mall. More to come soon.
Speaker 1:Excellent. Thank you for letting us know what it's like out there. We are going to give you guys a little bit of an opportunity to give me some back and forth here. What I'm looking for is give me a little bit of what you're seeing on the ground. I'm looking for is give me a little bit of what you're seeing on the ground.
Speaker 2:Can you describe the current situation for our viewers TJ at the Crossroads Mall? Thank you, alex. So the current situation at the mall is absolutely dreadful. The outside is completely overrun by these Zeke's. They're everywhere. I don't know if I will survive this final broadcast that we're doing during the breakout. I don't know who's watching this, but if you are watching this, stay at home, barricade the doors and yeah, that's about it. It's raining sideways. Back to you, tom.
Speaker 1:All right, all right, Thank you. Thank you, Eric. How are people reacting to what's happening all around them?
Speaker 3:Yeah, tom, I have to agree with uh, with my fellow reporter. This feels a little meaningless, if I'm being honest, uh, sitting here reporting on a situation that I'm not sure too many can even hear, considering that the emergency broadcast services have really taken over. Um, but, uh, to, to answer your question, a lot of people are on edge over here. It seems like there's a lot of distrust amongst the survivors who are held up here in this mall, which was thankfully closed but has not been completely Zed-free. More to come. As we go up this elevator, it seems like we might be heading for a brighter situation.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I will tell you, since we are still barely entering the mall in the beginning parts of this. The news is still on, the TVs are still on. There are people watching this. They're relying on Will you Survive the podcast to give them up to the minute news and updates so that they can stay abreast of the situation and, hopefully, stay alive. Now, uh, regarding safety concerns, is there any indication that this outbreak can be contained? That is amazing and, yeah, that clearly there's a delay. So we're we're getting some, uh, some, some latent responses. So, uh, let me let me repeat the question for eric. Uh, is there any indication that this outbreak can be contained, and what precautions should viewers take to stay safe, or rather, listeners? Yeah, alex, wow, that delay seems to be getting worse.
Speaker 3:Oh sorry, you were saying something. Oh, I see, I see, I'll continue.
Speaker 2:What was your question again. I think the question was Booba's on the bus.
Speaker 1:Yes. My question is is there any indication that this outbreak can be contained, and what precautions should viewers take to stay safe?
Speaker 3:Right, right. Well, at the moment it's a little unclear of how the infection spreads. It seems that once somebody dies, their body reanimates and then begins to attack any living beings around. The government is suggesting that you barricade yourself inside, stay away from windows and wait for help to arrive. The government has said that help is on their way. Search parties are on their way to find people. There are several survival locations, survival encampments that have been set up around the different areas, and you should listen to the emergency broadcast. Apparently us, if we have that information Back to you, tom.
Speaker 1:It's Eric, not it's Alex, Not Tom Eric. No, I'm Eric.
Speaker 2:It seems that Greg has forgotten his name.
Speaker 3:I think Timothy's a little confused TJ.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm Alex, not Tom. Guys, tom was eaten just a little bit ago. I realize we're all shaken up about this.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, okay Tim.
Speaker 1:But we will get over it.
Speaker 3:This is my first time anchoring and this is a big break for me you're doing, so let's uh, let's, let's get on board here, okay so, bob, I'm scared out here and, uh, it's not not very reassuring that you say this is your first time you're gonna have to hold in there, okay, do whatever you can.
Speaker 1:As I understand it, there are some survivors who are taking shelter at that mall. They all suck. May I ask you two to encamp yourself with them and report on what you're seeing? Yeah, sure thing, bill tj. Are authorities providing any guidance or assistance to those still trying to find safety?
Speaker 2:yeah, sam. So what's happening at the mall is the outside is completely overrun. We have no word from any sort of police department or anybody. Uh, the inside of the mall seems to be quite empty. Not nearly enough zombies for it to be a horror movie. Um, it's, it's kind of wild. There are people having uh premarital intercourse, uh, currently. Uh, I seen a booba. Back to you, tim okay, um again where was that booba?
Speaker 1:my name is alex asking for a friend it was actually recorded, so if you guys could find that tape if you could find that tape, I think everybody, all of our viewers, will be grateful I think the news would be very interested in that.
Speaker 2:It said that for four news purposes only, is currently beating cheeks in a random store in the mall. Back to you, jim.
Speaker 1:You know that even the most wholesome of men will get. Hey, I love that guy hey, Engineer, can we fix this delay? This delay is getting a little distracting. I can't keep reporting with this delay. I just got word that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this delay is really bad. I just got word that our this delay is really bad.
Speaker 1:I just got word that our producers are gonna I can't understand that you guys would be laughing so frivolously in the situation you're in. I understand it from my perspective because I'm safe here in the newsroom where we have lots of food, alcohol, water and boobas. So how you guys are having such a good time is beyond me.
Speaker 3:I guess I'm just that great uh, I do want to say we do have booba here, uh, so we do have one of those things checked off. Uh, we do have alcohol as well, uh, turns out the the there was a bar in this mall, uh, as well as a food court. Uh, food and supplies seem to be uh in good supply here, although the security and well-being of the mall uh is in question at the moment. I would like to clarify that there is plenty of booba here, and I do see plenty of booba all the time.
Speaker 2:Like he said, Tom, decent amount of booba, a lot of food court food. We are lacking on water because the only water here is Aquafina, it seems. That's absolutely horrendous. I would prefer a smart water.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:I wouldn't drink that if I was dying.
Speaker 1:As I understand it, that would be a PepsiCo product. Am I correct in that TJ?
Speaker 2:You are correct that Aquafina is a PepsiCo product, so it's basically flavorless Pepsi. You can taste it. So it's basically just pepsi it's pretty much pepsi with no pepsi. Hold the bet okay.
Speaker 1:Well, tj, while I have you, let me ask you a question back on our zombie apocalypse. Can we agree that this is a zombie apocalypse? We are the first ones breaking this news. Nobody else will say it as it is. Can I ask you, do you have any clearer understanding of what's causing this outbreak? Are experts sharing any new information?
Speaker 2:contrary to popular belief, just because there is an infection does not mean they're infected. They are coming back from the dead. Therefore, they are undead zombies. Uh, we are hearing, uh we're watching, another news station. Uh, they're not as good as us. Uh, they're saying that to kill them, you must shoot them in the head. That is the only news that they got. Um, yeah, zombies, geeks, gonks, zobos zeeks crawlers them damn zaps that might be different.
Speaker 1:That might be different. We're not going to go there we're not going to go there now. Um, from one of our viewers who is chatting in goes by the name NerdyVet, has introduced some information I want to check with you there, Eric. He says there was no bar in that mall. There was a coffee spot. Can you confirm this?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I can confirm there's a bar.
Speaker 1:Okay, very good.
Speaker 3:It's here.
Speaker 1:While I have you and before you get completely inebriated, what's the behavior of these infected individuals like you know, I think they might be misunderstood.
Speaker 3:You know they don't know what they're doing.
Speaker 1:Well, let me ask you this Are they showing any signs of reasoning or control?
Speaker 3:Probably do any of us. Let's be real, they're just doing them.
Speaker 2:I'd like to break in here, eric. This is why your wife and kids left you. You are a disgrace, that's not true.
Speaker 3:That's not true. You're getting belligerent, that's not we're. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. She left because I was too small. Damn that's why are?
Speaker 2:we still alive anyways, bob yes, eric, we are still alive he is a police officer and for some reason he thinks that his family is alive in another city. But that does not make any sense.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah that shit's crazy. He's dead.
Speaker 1:You are absolutely wrong. That is not Ving Rhames. His name is Kenneth, and let me tell you something.
Speaker 3:Hey, timothy, let me tell you something. Hey, timothy you. Let me tell you let me tell you his family dead.
Speaker 1:You are showing some signs of an unfavorable characteristic because you think that all black men look the same, apparently yeah, more on that I am I am very disappointed in you
Speaker 2:tj. There are two of I'm not sure which one is, which. I'm pretty sure one of them steals, but one of them is a police officer. Maybe both of them steal. A guy did work at a Best Buy, who works here or who's here with me right now. He said that it's definitely the big police officer that steals. Wait, no, the other guy I'm actually not sure, back to you, john I concur, it's one of them well, let me ask you some uh uh questions on the survivors there.
Speaker 1:Uh, since you, you both can confirm there are some survivors there and they're taking refuge in certain locations, what challenges do they seem to be facing in the mall?
Speaker 3:eric. Oh, thank you, steven. Um, they suck. If I'm being honest, um, I don't like these people. The nurse, she's okay. The the best buy guy is actually kind of cool. Uh, cop dude has some issues. Uh, other guy, I don't. I don't really trust him and it's not for the reasons you think, it's just that like he's kind of being a little suspicious in that toy shop, I think I don't know. Uh, his girl seems okay, I guess. Three security guys, two of them suck, one of them he's whatever. I think he's got a thing for for someone else in the group.
Speaker 1:But that's pretty much my analysis, I think, and my expert opinion so if, if what I'm getting is correct, he's trying to take a pair of boobas away from the group you know, I haven't thought of it that way. That's kind of a crime which security guard is really the bad one. While you think on that, TJ, have you spoken to anyone who is outside of the mall and what could they tell us about their experiences?
Speaker 3:No, I'm not going to let them out, I swear.
Speaker 2:No, you can't have the keys. No, I got to let them out. I got to. I swear no, you can't have the keys. No, I gotta let them out. I gotta answer this question. Somebody stop him from driving away.
Speaker 3:He made a good point.
Speaker 2:We have talked to people outside of the mall we actually are a bunch of dumbasses and let more people into our private domicile, in which one of them was bitten, and it was this quite large lady. She died and then came back. Thank God that our main character then took care of her in a quite swift fashion. Eric is still drinking all of the alcohol. I don't know how he's alive.
Speaker 1:Back to you, jimbobo. Well, if I understand it right, eric is only a hundred pounds. How are you not able to restrain him and stop him from drinking all of the alcohol? His massive seem to be weighing him down, sir uh, we're gonna have to bleep that out for the air. Good question Sound engineers?
Speaker 3:Good question, adrian. So it turns out, when you're constantly faced with life or death situations, it's very hard to keep a good drunk going. So I've been consistently sobered up multiple times in this situation.
Speaker 1:Excellent, excellent. Well then, let me ask you, because TJ had nothing to offer in that response that gave us any new information have you spoken to anyone who is outside of the mall, and what can they tell us about their experiences?
Speaker 2:Oh, outside of the mall Got it.
Speaker 3:There has been communication with people outside of the mall, with people outside of the mall. Our cop friend has made contact with somebody who we believe is named Andy, who has held up in a local gun shop across the street from the mall. Andy and Kenneth have been playing rounds of chess, many of which Kenneth has lost. That's not a super important detail, but I think our viewers would like to know and it appears that we have a good friendship going, although it is a little unclear of what the future plans are to assist Andy.
Speaker 1:Well, considering the fact that we are news reporters and we are the lowest scum of the earth, I would think that you can make your way across the way over there to that gun shop, because the zombies would most likely be afraid to bite you lest they turn into a news reporter. Tj. Would you mind going and talking to andy and telling us what he has to say about his experiences over there in that gun shop?
Speaker 3:get the fuck down there, get no, he said you he said you.
Speaker 2:I don't see how I can go and interview Andy when there is a actual sea of these Zeke's in between the gun shop and the mall.
Speaker 1:Because, as I said, these zombies are not going to try to bite you. You are disgusting.
Speaker 3:He's got a good point. We are kind of the lowest of scum.
Speaker 1:They're here.
Speaker 3:Who the zombies? I thought the gate would stop them. They knocked it down instantly. How much time do we have? They're already here. Who the zombies?
Speaker 1:I thought the gate would stop them. They knocked it down instantly. How much time do we have? They're already here, we should have bought that beautiful Los Angeles dream house in that safe neighborhood that Corinne showed us.
Speaker 3:I know it was so much more defensible and Corinne would have had us moved in before the apocalypse.
Speaker 1:Do you think it's too late to call her now? I'll try.
Speaker 3:No no.
Speaker 1:We should have called corinne sooner. Don't wait until it's too late. Call corinne salas today at 714-510-6443, and buy your los angeles dream house now. That's 714-510-6443. You can also find her on instagram, at next home by corinne, or visit her website at CorinneSalasNextHomeGrandViewcom. That's C-O-R-I-N-N-E-S-A-L-A-SNextHomeGrandViewcom.
Speaker 2:As I am here in this gun store with Andy Milonakis, whatever his last name is. We don't know his last name.
Speaker 3:He says that he does not have any food, make up a name.
Speaker 2:He is struggling because, you see, this is a gun store and not anything else. There's no snacks. I'm sure maybe there's like a gumball machine, but there is no food here. He is absolutely struggling machine, but there is no food here. He is absolutely struggling. He's began eating nine millimeters and uh 50 cal for breakfast. Uh, it's incredibly sad.
Speaker 1:Uh, back to egypt while you're there, has he tried any other methods of killing these zombies, rather than just shooting them?
Speaker 2:he has tried premarital sex on the zombies.
Speaker 1:It has not thank you, thank you, tj. Uh on a, on a more uh, on a more broad outlook here. Uh, how widespread is the devastation at this point?
Speaker 2:I said those zombies were real widespread when he was doing this.
Speaker 1:This makes me glad I am not on camera for this. You can't see me. I am remaining professional the entire time while these clowns are laughing their rear ends off we'll say that, if I may.
Speaker 3:Um, it appears that this kind of situation really does change a man. Um, where we used to be the very professional and very cordial news reporters. Uh, I can't speak for tj, but I can't speak for myself in saying that I feel like I've lost all hope for humanity. I'm not even sure if anybody is still listening to us yet alone alive. Are we still on the air?
Speaker 1:We are still on the air and I am going to tell you you are receiving extra points for this line right here, because my next question was what's the morale like among the people you've encountered, and do they feel abandoned by the authorities? Since you've already answered that, let me move on to the next one, please.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not looking good in the uh exit of the mall. We see the group has uh tried to plow through the zombies in armored vehicles. Uh, what? What do you think off of your uh very unprofessional opinion? If those type of reinforced buses would have done the trick, uh, we'll go with tj yes, samantha.
Speaker 2:So basically, I think it would work. Uh, I'm not sure why only one of them has a plow on it. It seems like it would uh be kind of a waste not to have a double plow. They do have a little slit in order to use a chainsaw through it in order to get zombies off of the bus. But then again, how many zombies do they think that's going to work on without clogging up the inner wheels? They really did not do much to reinforce said bus. Uh, it's it's kind of kind of actually dreadful. I don't. I do not think that this bus is uh in any way, uh properly built for such a situation.
Speaker 3:Back to you, jimothy yeah, kathy, if I may also add to that, to be quite frank, this is the most redneck shit I've ever seen in my life. This is a very haphazardly put together, quite frankly, honestly, very impressive, given the situation. What was put together? Given the situation, what was put together, uh. However, this is a very redneck put together. Uh, reinforcement of a bus that I'm a little unsure of. Why is even in this mall to begin with? Um, but uh, it appears that we are going to be leaving uh and t, tj and I will be in separate buses as we leave this facility and move on to, I believe, the marina.
Speaker 2:I would also like to add there is barbed wire on top of the bus I'm not sure why, as the zombies do not feel pain.
Speaker 1:I understand that that makes a lot of sense there. What I will say is uh, I think everything is as it should be as long as tj is placed at the back. So what it sounds like is the survivors welding metal sheets, grates and barbed wire onto the buses to protect them from the zombies. While it makes sense in theory, because it provides added defense against the attackers and reinforces vulnerable areas like windows, however, doing all of this with limited time, resources and tools while surrounded by constant danger seems a little bit far-fetched. Am I understanding you guys correctly?
Speaker 3:yes, that is the gist of what we're saying.
Speaker 1:Very good, very good. I did also hear you mentioned chainsaws and other weapons, such as the addition of chainsaws inside of the buses for use as weapons. It's certainly creative and visually intense for the movie.
Speaker 3:Oh yes, that would be the redneck aspect that I was speaking of.
Speaker 1:I gathered that much In practice using chains in in such cramped, chaotic quarters. Do you think it would be highly dangerous for the survivors themselves?
Speaker 2:incredibly dangerous, jim. Um, it actually has. Uh, it just happened. As you're saying this, uh, a woman has now been let's, let's, let's say she does not have a right side anymore because somebody does not know how to drive.
Speaker 1:Well, I would say we knew that was going to happen.
Speaker 3:Breaking news, Susan. It seems that the second bus has flipped and we are now stalled in the city and the first bus is retreating back to recover those lost from the second bus.
Speaker 1:I do apologize. Susan is busy. She has her mouth full at the moment below the desk. She can't talk, but I will say this your honor.
Speaker 2:Uh, it has come to my attention that, uh, there's actually a name for what they have done to this bus. Uh, it is called lori grimzing it. Uh, they really, uh, did flip on absolutely nothing, for absolutely no reason.
Speaker 3:I have come out unharmed and uh, I'm seeing reports that Phil Dunphy has died.
Speaker 1:Our beloved Phil Dunphy.
Speaker 2:The pause is so fucking funny.
Speaker 1:Our beloved Phil Dunphy. After the zombie apocalypse began he became kind of a wild playboy style man who has just died after the second bus has flipped and he tried to escape on foot mr president, the second bus has flipped we, we, we do, we, we do feel, we do feel great remorse over losing phil dunphy hats off to a great man.
Speaker 1:Anyway, moving on, I wanted to ask you all about the mobility and weight of these buses, since you've uh got to see one of them flip over. I'm thinking you could give me a good insight. All of the added armor and weaponry it would have increased the weight significantly. Uh, this could impact mobility. Do you think that this caused the problem of the speed and maneuverability that would potentially have caused this bus to flip over like that?
Speaker 3:Oh, most definitely, John. Yeah, it's quite a lot. We're not really sitting still anywhere, john.
Speaker 2:We seem to have lost visual coverage of Eric in the field. It's quite tragic.
Speaker 1:I am glad to hear that you are still safe on the bus, but Eric is running on the streets now, apparently thinking that the zombies are chasing him, but in reality they think he's chasing them. Poor things. We are sad for their retreat against such low life scum as a news reporter.
Speaker 3:Where'd they all go?
Speaker 1:Now, the survivors did manage to construct these reinforced buses within a relatively short time frame, and while it's possible with a skilled team, don't you think it would be highly unlikely for a group of panicked civilians with varying skills to be able to pull this off so efficiently in the middle of a zombie apocalypse? And don't you think it's even highly, more highly unlikely that they would have all of these tools necessary to do this?
Speaker 2:I think it's all thanks to plot, armor and luck.
Speaker 1:Uh, jessica so I think what we're getting to with this report is, while the buses are a thrilling and memorable element of the movie, their execution leans more toward, we'll say, uh, hollywood style creativity than realistic engineering. Uh, with that said, they're perfectly fit within the movie's tone and serve a symbol of the survivor's ingenuity and determination in a desperate situation. With that in mind, I want to move on to that epic propane tank explosion that I understand has just occurred on the docks where you're at. Am I correct, that is?
Speaker 2:correct. I'm currently looking at such a giant fireball. One of our own has sacrificed himself for absolutely no reason, but he has actually given us some sort of leeway against the zeke's.
Speaker 1:uh, they seem to not be afraid of the fire, as they are more not knowing how to get to them because there is water and the bridge seems to be broken and do we all agree that, uh, that character uh, I believe you said his name was cj was originally the most hated character and wound up being the most uh, if I can speak colloquially badass. Am I right on that subject?
Speaker 2:he did go out badass. I could not hear his one-liner as I was already 20 feet away, but I know he said some really badass shit as he was going out.
Speaker 3:Okay okay, start rolling, start rolling. Breaking news, breaking news, breaking news. There was an explosion at the docks. It seems that a bus that was carrying the survivors has exploded and it's unclear at this point if there are any survivors. Back to you, jennifer.
Speaker 1:Once again. Jennifer now is busy, she can't speak. I will give her a report for her. Who the fuck is running this station? That would be probably somebody in the realm of Hugh Hefner, maybe someone far worse. In this explosion that we saw, I'm getting reports from eyewitnesses on the ground that it was a propane tank that was shot. Now, as I understand it, propane is highly flammable and it can cause explosions when ignited. But do we think that a propane tank, even one of that size, would result in such an explosive effect? Eric?
Speaker 2:I was just going to cut in Bradley as I have notes. I actually said incredibly unrealistic propane explosions. Right here in my notes you get an extra point for saying propane. I was going to say We'll cut that out in post as we are. Oh wait, we're live Anyways. Uh, we'll cut that out in post. Uh, as we are, I'll wait, we're live anyways. Uh, these nuts back to Utah.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much, and once again, you fucker. It is Alex. Now, uh, we we talked about the explosion, the explosion size here being very exaggerated for cinematic effect. Uh, all of the people who have died thus far did not know that they died for a movie, so sad for them. But while we're talking about the explosion size, the explosion is highly exaggerated. Uh, in reality, propane tanks can cause dangerous explosions, but not at the level of a massive fireball that annihilates a large area. Would we try to use something that would cause an explosion of that size right near where we need to be? Do you think that would be a wise move? I'll go to you, eric.
Speaker 3:Yeah, thank you, alec, I do.
Speaker 2:I do agree that this is not a wise decision.
Speaker 3:Oh, my apologies, Aiden. I do agree that it is quite an unwise decision to make such a large explosion near the escape vessel that we plan to use. However, it does appear that the propane tank, in conjunction with the massive amounts of C4 that they clearly put inside the engine of the truck or the bus, is what caused the explosion to be so large and so profuse. At least that's what sources on the ground are saying. Got it?
Speaker 1:Now what I would like to ask is when we saw the explosion on the dock there, we saw that our survivors were not very far down the dock when that explosion took place. However, uh, did we not see an explosion of relative similarity earlier, when they were escaping the mall, where that explosion from a much smaller propane tank took out a much larger area? Uh, don't we think that, for consistency sake, that propane tank explosion if we're being consistent would have taken out the entire dock rather than just the small area that it did, destroying the bus and a few of the zombies and a little bit of the dock? Tell me what you think, tj.
Speaker 2:You are absolutely incorrect. It seems to me that you do not realize that said propane tanks are actually filled with nuclear bombs. There was a SAR bomba in the small one shot earlier in the movie, but in the large one there was only a little mini one. That's the reason why it was such a small explosion.
Speaker 3:Yes, james. If I may add, it also seems that you're forgetting that the difference between the open air of the ocean and the closed air of the inland mall is what changes the differential of the explosion of said propane tanks.
Speaker 1:At this point I'm going to need to say Eric, shut up, you're drunk. I'm tired of hearing your nonsensical rambling.
Speaker 2:According to Boyle's, law of aerodynamics.
Speaker 1:TJ, shut up, you're just dumb. I don't want to hear this nonsensical rambling. The fact that you two couldn't even accidentally get my name correctly one time during this entire news broadcast tells me everything I need to know about you. But in the interest of carrying the news, I want to know.
Speaker 3:Henry, Henry, let's be real.
Speaker 1:I want to know who is listening to this right now. At this point, probably nobody Okay, because at this point, probably nobody Okay, because at this point well, actually that's not true. Let me tell you, people are going to find these lost tapes.
Speaker 2:Do you know how I?
Speaker 1:know that Because they found Andy's lost tapes. Both of you fuckers fail that point.
Speaker 2:Amber. According to the future, I shall use the name Lost Tapes for the episode's name. Give yourself one point.
Speaker 1:I will do so. That will be a season point. Thank you very much.
Speaker 3:Yes, Alexandra, that's against the Constitution. But a second note is that I was quite busy running for my life and not looking for Andy's videotape recorder.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, you suck. You should have been. I blame my cameraman.
Speaker 3:If there wasn't so many goddamn budget cuts and if I could get a half decent cameraman, then maybe I could get someone who would grab the important things, like I asked him to, by the way, tom.
Speaker 1:I thank you very much, but you don't deserve anybody better than you have. I will tell you, your cameraman is on par with your competence and our listeners know it Well. That's low.
Speaker 2:Sorry, amber, I mean April, I mean Roberta Wait, what was your name again? Anyways, the only way I was able to survive was because I actually went through the same exact thing in 1979. But the Zeke's were actually just gray people with absolutely no strength, and it was kind of wild.
Speaker 1:I beg your pardon, but I need clarification, and it was kind of wild. I beg your pardon, but I need clarification. In 1975, 1979, as you refer to them as gray people, is that just what you call white people?
Speaker 2:If you would take a look at my notes, I actually referred to them as gray N-words. Simply put, they come back after death and they're very similar to the ones in, uh, the current times, uh, but they are not as uh, fast or strong, or actually they're not at in any way. Uh, scary, uh. I did see a kid with a hockey uh stick. Uh, he was a uh Z, a uh zombini. Uh, if you will.
Speaker 1:And uh, but let me ask you a question, tj. I need some clarification on this. How sure are you on a scale of one to fuck you that these were actually zombies and they weren't just people who had to lie down for a bit because they were so tired of your shit?
Speaker 2:Thanks, barb. So basically I was talking to this random black man and they I actually heard this on the news from a religious figure as well. They said the exact same thing when hell is full, the dead will walk the earth. Which is kind of funny, because right now they are sprinting at me at full speed, at least 35 miles per hour.
Speaker 1:That's not really walking. I get your point there. As I understand it, our survivors have taken to a seafaring vessel In many occasions in the past. We on Will you Survive the Podcast have talked about being on a boat. How do you think it's possible that people who were inventive enough and with enough ingenuity to armor buses with nothing but sheet metal and screws they can't find a way to purify water on a freshwater lake, nor can they catch fish. However, they seem to be in a bit of a quandary. Am I correct on all of this, eric?
Speaker 3:yes, it will seem. It does seem that their intelligence is very selective. In certain situations they can create incredible solutions to some complicated challenges, but the sea, or rather the lake, has baffled them. They seem unable to create any sort of fishing line or fishing pole or cup, or solar still or basic form of purifying water or common sense to allow them to survive this journey. It does seem like we are going to dehydrate and starve to death.
Speaker 3:Eric, Eric, Eric, I would like to say that it seems that you are not sure of what you are talking about.
Speaker 2:It seems that you are not sure of what you're talking about, considering that this boat actually runs on the power of friendship, as it was moving without a sail.
Speaker 1:I did get that report, tj. I thank you for bringing that up. There were a couple of moments, but what I do think was occurring at that point which back to eric's point of selective intelligence it seems as though this group was running the engine on a sailboat the entire time. They were on the boat. Eric, can you confirm that?
Speaker 3:yes, I, I can confirm they were doing this. Um, I must add that, uh, tj is correct in saying that the boat is powered by the power of friendship. Um, however, it seems that morale and spirits have gotten very low and friendship has died, ultimately leaving the tank on e wow, okay and uh, so I'm guessing that.
Speaker 1:Uh, are you guys getting any word from these survivors? Are they going to be taking refuge on any land? Is there anywhere in sight that they're going to be headed toward? Let me go to TJ.
Speaker 2:It seems we are heading towards the mythical bullshit island where everything will be fine, according to them. Will be fine according to them. Uh, it seems that they think that there is going to be a magical place that somehow does not have any zeke's gonks, or uh, cut that I liked it and they think they will be safe tj, I'm getting I'm getting breaking information here that you guys are about to pull up onto this island.
Speaker 1:Uh, whatever its real name is, uh, can you let us know what you're seeing, as these survivors are going to begin, uh, exiting the boat?
Speaker 2:thanks, miranda. Uh, the island seems to be absolutely covered in semen Not the excrement, but there seems to be a crashed submarine somehow on the land. It is completely covered in Navy bodies and Ving Rhames has begun going mad and eating them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't think that that's accurate at all, TJ. Let me go to our other correspondent, Eric. Tell us what you see on this island.
Speaker 3:Yeah, jacqueline, they're screwed Back to you.
Speaker 1:All right, I'm glad that we got some great information for you listeners there. Thank you, Eric and TJ. This has been a chilling update from the field. Our thoughts are with those caught in this nightmare scenario For listeners at home. Stay tuned for further updates. You can catch us on Instagram, Facebook and Tik TOK. Just search Will you survive the podcast. You can get us on any. Anywhere, you get your podcasts. You can also catch us on YouTube If you just search the boys at WIS or will you survive the podcast? You could send us your emails.
Speaker 3:Gordon, are you plugging our social media?
Speaker 1:I am plugging our social media. Hang on. Make sure you email us your critiques, criticisms of our coverage of this live breaking zombie apocalypse. Gordon, there are millions dying, we don't care. Send those emails to theboys at willyousurvivethepodcastcom. That's T-H-E-B-O-Y-S at willyousurvivethepodcastcom.
Speaker 2:This actually takes place in 2004. I don't think any of them know what any of those social medias are.
Speaker 1:That's perfectly okay. Back to you, taylor. So you go in, you check all of those socials and make sure you stay tuned for further updates. And remember avoid crowded areas, remain indoors and, above all, stay alive. Tyler, this feels inappropriate and the hell is full. We'll bring you more as the story develops. This is Will you Survive the Podcast? Signing off Breaking news. Breaking news.
Speaker 2:Nobody knows who won.
Speaker 1:Ah, but that's what's coming now, because we ended the news report but our true listeners stuck around. Eric wins yes.
Speaker 3:Wait.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:Eric doesn't want to win. Anyways, I don't give a shit.
Speaker 3:It's always bittersweet all right.
Speaker 2:Thank you everybody for listening. This has been the will you survive podcast. I'm tj, that's alex, that's eric and until next time, stay alive. © transcript Emily Beynon you.
