Will You Survive... The Podcast
Immerse yourself in the world of cinema as we embark on a journey to equip you with the skills to tackle any disaster head-on. Through the lens of thrilling tales, particularly those of the zombie apocalypse, we'll unravel the secrets of preparedness. Join us as we explore the silver screen to empower you for the challenges that lie ahead.
Will You Survive... The Podcast
The Constitution of Will You Survive
Step into the inner workings of "Will You Survive the Podcast" as we take a break from our usual movie survival analysis to establish our official podcast constitution. Like Washington, Madison, and the other founding fathers before us, we're creating a framework of bylaws that will govern our survival discussions and competitions moving forward.
Our newly ratified constitution introduces the Grand Survival Ranking System, creating season-long consequences for our weekly competitions. The winner of each episode earns three season points and the honor of hosting the next episode, while second place gets one consolation point. But beware—hosts wield significant power, including the ability to deduct points for "especially terrible survival decisions" (The Darwin Award Deduction) or "exceptionally unruly behavior."
We've built in protection against tyranny with the Survival Dictator Clause, which allows co-hosts to veto a host's power if they make a survival claim so absurd it can't be tolerated. And for those falling hopelessly behind, there's the dramatic Scorched Earth Protocol—allowing desperate contestants to declare "If I can't survive, no one can!" and attempt a last-ditch effort to overturn rulings or challenge others to survival duels.
The stakes are real: the season winner gets to choose the movie for our first episode of the next season, while the ultimate loser must bear the title "First to Die" throughout the following season. It's democracy and entertainment wrapped in one ridiculous package—just how we like it.
Ready to hear what happens when three survival enthusiasts create their own system of government? Subscribe now and check out our socials at @WillYouSurviveThePodcast to join the constitutional convention!
Hello survivors and welcome to another episode of Will you Survive.
Speaker 2:The Podcast.
Speaker 1:Normally this is a podcast where we would watch a movie and then afterwards discuss the survivability of the movie, whether we think we would survive the movie and then whether we think the movie's even, you know, logical, if it even makes sense, and then we'll also discuss different survival tactics or techniques. But all of that is out the window today. Today's a very special episode. I am actually giving up. I'm like our founding father, I'm like George Washington. I am being the first, I am giving up potential points today to enact a WYS constitution, and this is going to be a list of bylaws that we will run by, and this is totally not at all inspired by Distractable and the very, very recent council episode that they did. I promise you, this was already in the works beforehand. What even is Distractable? I don't even know. I don't know.
Speaker 3:I don't really know, I don't know, I don't really listen to it.
Speaker 2:So welcome to unwatchable.
Speaker 1:Well, that works because we are a podcast. So to start off one, does anybody have any objection to us having a constitution or bylaws?
Speaker 2:Hi, I'm.
Speaker 1:Michael.
Speaker 3:C Jordan. As a matter of fact, not only is oh yeah, yeah, wait, no, sorry, hang on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, my co-host. Hey, I'm Eric. By the way, I'm the host today.
Speaker 3:No, no, you're George Washington, I'm James Madison.
Speaker 2:I'm Michael C. Jordan B was taken. You, you know so.
Speaker 3:So I think, if we're going all the way back, Jordan's great, great, great grandfather I think we're going all the way back in time like that. We need to mute his mic, oh ain't nobody going to let him talk.
Speaker 1:We played three of every five words. That would be so funny oh my God, that was funny. Oh, that'd be so fucked. Um, well, god, that was funny. Oh, that would be so fucked. Well, yes, I'm Eric. I'm joined, aka George Washington. I'm joined by my two co-hosts, alex I'm Alex and TJ, 40 acres and a mule. I almost called him Eric. Well, I unfortunately don't have anything about segregation, slavery, anything of that nature I got you covered there.
Speaker 3:Okay, it's already legal in the podcast constitution I got. I got some bylaws. I gotta read right off the bat here he's actually 100 right.
Speaker 1:He's not even joking. I think you missed the joke. What he said, it's totally legal there in california. Remember how california on the recent ballot was like let's ban slavery, and cal California was like no, no.
Speaker 3:It's like there was more context.
Speaker 1:But yeah, it was more like indentured servitude for bad behavior. But like not today, I like the idea that California voted no on getting rid of slavery.
Speaker 3:That's very funny Well host, if it please, I'll get through the serious stuff real quick.
Speaker 1:Sure the things I think we absolutely need.
Speaker 3:These are legal. Okay, all right, so number one name of the podcast Will you survive? The podcast, aka the boys at WIS.
Speaker 1:Will you survive? Dot dot dot the podcast. I must make an amendment.
Speaker 3:Are you being that serious? Well, is that not what's on the paperwork we're going to? We're going to add that to know what's what's on, everything is just. Will you survive the podcast?
Speaker 2:Oh, then we should do that on Spotify. It's dot, dot, dot and.
Speaker 1:I think that's what matters actually. Yes, tj, I agree with you.
Speaker 2:Do I get a point?
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you can get. I thought for a second you were making sound effects, oh no Worse, I'm genuinely doing something. Oh, number two purpose of the podcast. The purpose of Will you Survive the Podcast is to engage in discussions around survival strategies in pop culture, history and real-world situations, providing listeners with both entertainment and informative insight. Yeah, I agree. Number three ownership and intellectual property. The intellectual property rights for Will you Survive the Podcast, including name, logo and all episodes produced, are owned by Will you Survive the Podcast.
Speaker 3:Okay, do we make a cart to run on every episode. You know, we probably should, just so that we wouldn't have to read all of the freaking socials, or I wouldn't have to read all of the socials.
Speaker 1:No, but you do it so well, shut up, you do it so well.
Speaker 3:I want to put that in the Constitution, that you always do it Shut up, no, no, unless I get points for it. We'll discuss veto powers, Roles and responsibilities of hosts. The hosts are responsible for creating content, scheduling episodes, conducting interviews, which we haven't done yet but we do want to do right. Sure, I'm down Ensuring the podcast is produced and released regularly.
Speaker 1:Now, what do we mean by regularly? Every Friday at 7 am, so you should go check it out on Spotify and Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts, that's right, I just wanted to throw that in there. Okay, go on.
Speaker 2:Brand new episode today.
Speaker 3:Each host will contribute equally, unless otherwise discussed.
Speaker 1:Guys, I want to put in 1%, but I want to get 33. Let's discuss.
Speaker 3:Oh Well, 33, let's discuss. Oh well, let's. Let's discuss after I get through all the okay, okay, the legal jargon.
Speaker 1:What does that?
Speaker 3:say, alex is bald. You're not allowed to say that.
Speaker 1:The bylaws say so and we haven't agreed any. Nothing's been signed into law yet.
Speaker 2:I have 34 bylaws is that at least one host has to be bald at one time.
Speaker 1:There can't be, more than one or less than one, but if Alex ever grows out his hair, that's going to fall on you, TJ.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, Then you're next.
Speaker 2:Nuh-uh, I got locks of hair. I got more hair than Eric.
Speaker 1:There is no way you're going to, there's literally 0% chance.
Speaker 2:That I have more hair than you do. Do you know what shrinkage is?
Speaker 3:whitey, we know what to do. You do not have time to cut that.
Speaker 2:It's time to I have more hair than you, it goes time to cut that mop it keeps going, it keeps going I see nothing it keeps going I see nothing.
Speaker 1:It's out, I got, I got nothing thick ass, mexican hair I have thick ass, african-american hair sir one of my strands of hair is equivalent to like three of yours.
Speaker 2:Okay, but size is not the thing here. These bitches are logs.
Speaker 1:These are logs coming out of my head.
Speaker 3:It's the luxuriousness, okay, all right, all right, we'll get back onto hair, since I have none Editorial control. Final editorial control rests with the primary host or producer. All episode topics, guests and major changes to the format must be approved by the primary host slash producer Okay yeah, scheduling frequency and episodes. Every episode will be scheduled to be released Friday at 7 am. Tj is responsible for ensuring that episodes are recorded and released according to this schedule. It falls all on TJ.
Speaker 1:Good luck getting me on a recording session now, tj, huh, I'm not showing up.
Speaker 3:Now, guys, this is the part that you're not going to like. If you think that's the case, uh-oh, financial management and revenue Shit.
Speaker 1:Eric's bank account is Routing number 1-0-0-0. Wait a minute, that one sounds familiar.
Speaker 3:Revenue generated through sponsorships, advertisements, merchandise sales, etc. Will be split. However, all proceeds will go back to the podcast until we begin turning a profit.
Speaker 1:I was going to say until further discussed or until otherwise discussed, we'll say that then, until. If the sign is, are you going to fax it to me or what? Well, I mean I figure we were was going to say until further discussed or until otherwise discussed.
Speaker 3:We'll say that then.
Speaker 1:Are you?
Speaker 2:going to fax it to me?
Speaker 1:I mean, I figured, we were just going to Are we going to fax it to you.
Speaker 3:No, I'm going to lick a stamp and mail it to you.
Speaker 1:What is this? The 20th century.
Speaker 2:I was just going to hold up the computer screen and let you see it you didn't even page me before we started recording.
Speaker 1:I was going to send you. I was going to print it out and send it to you, but it was going to be missing. Every fourth and fifth line.
Speaker 2:You got to carry your pigeon on your head.
Speaker 3:Now we have conflict resolution. In the event of a dispute between the hosts, a mediator will be selected. Now, I think this is legit. Okay, we could select a mediator from outside of the three of us, but that only occurs if we don't get a majority vote. If there's some manner in which all three of us have our own opinion that do not align with each other, which I think will be rare.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, so, but if two of us agree on, one.
Speaker 3:Two of us agree, that's two thirds.
Speaker 1:I would like to say so. This is not something I have in the constitution at the moment, but I think it should be added that when it comes to disputes or or in the constitution at the moment, but I think it should be added that when it comes to disputes or or in the name of fairness, the host should try their best to put aside all prejudices from the current episode. Like, let's say, you've been favoring one person, but somebody is enacting a part of the constitution. It should be the host's responsibility to put aside all biases and prejudices from that episode and be as fair as possible in honor of the constitution so that means you and tj have to stop this handshake bullshit you got going on.
Speaker 1:There is no fucking shot. You're going to accuse me of that both of you. No, I know what's happening around here I am the most innocent of the hands, I think we need to agree that, yes, there should be no biases or like pre like conceptions.
Speaker 2:before you head into the podcast, however, all points given must be not only fair, but also uncalculated and bullshit. They have to be. They have to be.
Speaker 3:Okay, okay, here, here's here I need. I need to make a compromise here.
Speaker 2:And there's, there's no. You can get points out for anything. Well, I don't.
Speaker 3:I don't mind any of that. Now, here's what I will say no handshake deals unless the podcast is already being recorded okay, so no preemptive handshake deals.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, so what?
Speaker 3:that means is we get in here, we start recording, somebody leaves the room yeah, so all handshake deals must be activated upon the disappearance of another.
Speaker 1:Well, not necessarily. I suppose a handshake could be done blatantly in front of another. Yeah, but it would be. But why would you do that? Yeah, no, I think you wouldn't do it.
Speaker 3:I think it has to be by unanimous vote of all parties in the recording in the booth. Unanimous vote by all parties in the booth For a handshake deal?
Speaker 1:Yeah, aren't handshake deals notoriously against one of the competitors?
Speaker 3:Yes, so that means we're in here, we're recording, you get up and you leave. Tj and I are the only people in the booth.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're right, we can make a unanimous consent.
Speaker 3:All handshakes must be made during the recording of the episode Handshakes must be made Like check this out During this motherfucker left the recording I did not leave it Of the episode.
Speaker 1:It is conducted.
Speaker 3:This motherfucker green screened himself.
Speaker 1:All handshakes must be made during the recording of the episode it is conducted in and it must be by unanimous vote, by unanimous vote of those in da boof, da boof. Okay, the handshake clause. All handshakes must be made during the recording of the episode it is conducted in, by unanimous vote of those in da boof. That's it.
Speaker 3:Okay, now I do need to pause for one second.
Speaker 1:It's a nice run-on sentence, just like the Constitution. It's 12 o'clock.
Speaker 3:Happy birthday Josh. Happy birthday Josh. Happy birthday Jeezy.
Speaker 2:Thank you for birthday josh. Happy birthday, cheesy. Uh, the birthday law all hosts must tell josh happy birthday on his birthday and the donuts on those. I like that okay, do you?
Speaker 3:uh, you have more legal jargon. Let me see, let me make sure. Uh, yeah, okay, so, oh, the the conflict resolution was if we all three can't come up with a, an amicable decision, we have to get some, a third party from outside of the podcast. Now I suggest we can use either um tj's wife or her in, or a member from the audience, or a member from the audience okay, I mean they can't be from in the booth I'm okay with that well they can't be.
Speaker 1:I mean what if you guys both agree that I am unbiased about the decision? Like what if you both say like okay, yeah, you can mediate this, you, you seem well, that would be.
Speaker 3:That would be. If we all three can unanimously agree on something, then it's not a conflict but it wouldn't be well, let's well.
Speaker 1:No, what if you two disagree? But you guys are like well, well, I guess then that's just a normal.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's nothing if we all unanimously agree that you could be unbiased, or that tj could be unbiased or me, then we can all agree to that and say, okay, now oversee this and we agree, whatever your decision is, it's going to be it. But then if we can't, agree on anything.
Speaker 1:The three of us all disagree. How do we get to a decision?
Speaker 3:that's where we say, okay, we're gonna call in a third party okay so maddie maddie is my maddie and corinne are my proposals, the and then if they're not available, then we can call in josh the consultant.
Speaker 2:Josh will be the consultant if no other parties are available.
Speaker 1:The consultant provision In the event that all hosts disagree.
Speaker 3:Well, you know what?
Speaker 1:Let's do this.
Speaker 3:By statistical probability, let's put Josh first, because he's here more often than either Corinne or Maddie.
Speaker 1:True the consultant provision. In the event that all hosts disagree, an unbiased third party may be brought in to mediate a resolution. Yes, cool Okay.
Speaker 3:Anything else. I've got a couple more here. Let me make sure I get through.
Speaker 1:Now hang on. These are unconfirmed. We haven't eyed these, but I figured we could just do this all in one big swoop if we all agree on these.
Speaker 3:No, I think these are going to be easily agreed upon. But that was conflict resolution. Changes to the format or bylaws. Any changes to the format of the podcast or these bylaws must be agreed upon by all hosts. Amendments will be discussed in a formal meeting and put into writing. Termination and exit strategy. If a host wishes to leave the podcast, they must give what do you guys think Two weeks notice. Two weeks notice. They must give their life. Hey, tj, you gotta give your life Alright if the podcast needs to be, terminated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're out of here.
Speaker 3:This is in writing. I'm sorry I didn't make this up. This hasn't been voted on. Tj, Don't worry. If the podcast needs to be terminated, all hosts will meet to discuss the logistics and proper closure of the show. I think that makes sense. Disclaimers and legal considerations. Now this is for everybody. This probably should be a cart that would go on the end of every episode. Will you Survive? The podcast is intended for entertainment purposes only. The hosts are not experts in the field of survival and all advice shared on the podcast should be taken with caution.
Speaker 1:The podcast is not responsible for any actions taken by listeners based on the content line, so your discretion is advised.
Speaker 3:Basically, did I mean um, did you catch it? If you want me to read it again, do you want to clap?
Speaker 2:and then I mean, I'll read it again you spoke it into the mic so I can just grab it later all right cool um, I think that it should be in the bylaws that if you are to send the host, tj motherfucking jackson, one thousand dollars, he will get your name, his name, tattooed on him. That's all I'm saying. It needs to be in the bylaws.
Speaker 3:We want to put that in the bylaw, but I don't think that's a bylaw because, neither Eric or I are going to be giving you $1,000.
Speaker 2:We're also not disputing that.
Speaker 1:You could. Yeah, but we're also not disputing this at all.
Speaker 3:No, we're encouraging this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we want this.
Speaker 3:We want somebody to pay you a thousand dollars and you get their name tattooed on your body somewhere.
Speaker 1:That is best case that is so such good marketing funds on the side. Okay, congress, all right two more now there's this really cool jellyfish and I would love to study its mating practices. Can you give me 13 million dollars?
Speaker 2:13 million 10 cents per episode goes into the tattoo fund holy moly, we would go forever.
Speaker 3:We would never. We would never make that all right. Confidentiality and non-disclosure agreements, if necessary. Hosts and contributors are required to maintain confidentiality regarding any unpublished content and business related discussions unless prior consent is given. That's basic, and then approval and adoption of bylaws. Now we'll, we'll do, maybe I'll wait until you're done and then we'll go through, but basically all we got to say is these bylaws are adopted on we'll say it on on the podcast, um, and are subject to revisions and updates as deemed necessary by the hosts. Sure um that.
Speaker 3:I would say that's all the serious stuff, now let's get into the ultra serious stuff.
Speaker 2:If a fan gets our logo tattooed on them, I think that automatically gets them a spot in the episode for an interview.
Speaker 1:I don't know if we want to encourage that. If I'm being honest. I don't think we want to be responsible for encouraging someone to get a permanent thing on their body, the.
Speaker 2:I will get the logo tattooed on me, just showing a true fan. You know, I feel like you know that dedication needs to be hey, I mean, if they, if they want.
Speaker 3:If I think I agree with you. If they want to do it, if our logo is that cool and they want to do it, uh, we will definitely let them come on the podcast now but that is not a guarantee for anybody else that you will get on the podcast that is true, tattooing our logo on your body, and we we do need proof of tattoo that it's not henna yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, not temporary, this needs to be permanent I was gonna say hentai I caught you.
Speaker 2:If you get a, will you survive?
Speaker 1:hentai tattoo you become a host, but it needs to accurately depict all three of us.
Speaker 3:So it'll never happen. Oh my god, josh, you don't know what else. This is good. Gets the tattoo the next day. The logo gets changed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm in charge of the logos.
Speaker 1:Alright next logo, next person to get this one tattooed, speaking of which?
Speaker 3:this particular logo that I have up on the screen right now. Is that full rights? Will you survive? The podcast has that.
Speaker 2:I mean we don't.
Speaker 3:we haven't trademarked anything, but but I'm not going to have any any copyright disputes when I use that Right.
Speaker 2:That's all free shit I used.
Speaker 3:OK, so because I want to use.
Speaker 2:Uh, I want to use. I want to get stickers. It falls under free use, I'm pretty sure, pretty cool.
Speaker 1:So I think I agree with everything you said, although I do want to later put it in writing. On the official document I got it, um, but do we? Just want to do a verbal vote, the three of us, sure, tj, okay, ready. Vote on three One, two, three, aye, aye.
Speaker 1:All right, that's how we say it from now on. I love it. Aye, all right, I have a few articles. I only want to get through four. I have five. I think the fifth one's dumb, if I'm being honest. Okay, but article one, the law of the land or, sorry, the law of the wild, is what I had. Oh, okay, title one this is the we would totally survive clause.
Speaker 1:I love it, no matter how absurd the survival scenario in the movie. At least one host must claim they could survive it. This is similar to Israel's rule that if nine chair people, whatever they are, agree on one thing, the 10th has to disagree.
Speaker 3:I like this I'm in.
Speaker 1:And then a part of this Title 2, I have the handshake clause that all handshakes must be made during the recording of the episode. It is conducted in by unanimous vote of Doze in Da Boof. I love it.
Speaker 3:I put Da Book Da Boof and I like that you said by Doze in Da Boof.
Speaker 1:I didn't mean to. I wrote those on the Constitution.
Speaker 3:You said does.
Speaker 1:I said, does Number three or title three, the consultant provision in the event that all hosts disagree and unbiased third party may be brought into immediate resolution? Ok, ok, I'll vote on three, one, two, three, I Cool. Article two this, this one's very important to me, guys. Okay. So I'm not trying to split your vote or anything, but say yes. Article two the grand survival ranking system. Nay, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1:Title one, the will you survive leaderboard. This will be a running season long ranking which must be kept to track each's survival prowess or lack thereof. Essentially, this will be a season-long scoring that will be separate from the individual episode scoring, so points within the episode are given by the host. However, the host has authority, given by the constitution in later titles and amendments, to deduct or add season points to the contestants. Does that make sense? I think so.
Speaker 3:So if I'm hosting, I can add or take away points from you from the season yes, as well as the game yes. So if I take away points and you get to zero, I can start deducting more points. That would come off of the season totals If the Constitution allows.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm voting for that this is the only way we get to keep TJ in line, this motherfucker's unruly.
Speaker 1:Hang on, hang on. Yes, I agree with you. You add provisions.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 1:Hang on, hold on to that idea. That's brilliant. Title 2. The ranking system. I don't know if it's actually Title 2. What's under articles?
Speaker 3:It would be at this point. We would probably be. Your whole thing would be article two, mine was article one, yours would be article two.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:And then this would be title two.
Speaker 1:Title two Okay, okay, okay, okay. The ranking system At the end of each episode, points are awarded as follows the winner gains plus three season points and the honor of hosting the next episode. The second place or the loser gets one point, so you always get one point. However, the host has zero points, so the host cannot gain season points on their episode.
Speaker 3:So this goes to mind that the host can never win the episode for himself.
Speaker 1:Essentially Number three bonus and penalty points. Throughout the season, contestants may earn or lose extra points based on the following you could gain a plus one survivalist bonus, given if a host displays exceptional survival reasoning, trivia or strategy, and this could be awarded by the host through the constitution. A minus one Darwin award deduction given if a host makes an especially terrible survival decision or claim Okay, uh, a plus two comeback kid award If someone wins an episode after starting or after being at a dead loss. Um, that will be up to host discretion, but you can consult the constitution if you. If you're challenged on that. Tj, I love the idea of the what was the anti-yoink?
Speaker 2:Anti-yoink clause.
Speaker 1:The anti-yoink clause. Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2:You got to make it so there's like a limit to how much season points a host can yoink from said party.
Speaker 1:That's a good point. Where do we think?
Speaker 2:that limit lies um. So what's the max season points? Is it just like it goes up however much?
Speaker 3:I wouldn't go that high. What I what I think we should probably say is the max season points you can take away in one episode is three points I agree, because that's the max that you can gain from winning the episode Right, so I think three is seems reasonable. If TJ's acting really out of control, he loses three points and even if he wins he comes out with zero on the season, three on the day.
Speaker 1:I would also like to add in the bonus points and penalty points. I would like to add a minus one for uh exceptionally unruly behavior and that uh, that would also is that minus one for the day, for the episode, or minus one for the season? These are all season points.
Speaker 3:Okay, so these all apply to season points.
Speaker 1:So essentially it's so that uh, the host, if being consistently interrupted or distracted or disturbed or fought against, can deduct a season point for unruly behavior citing the Constitution.
Speaker 3:I really, really like this because this is going to play directly into my next, the next time I win.
Speaker 1:Now TJ. I know that seems directed at you, but I feel like I am just as guilty.
Speaker 2:I think there needs to be an antism clause A. What An antism, no racism. No autism.
Speaker 1:No, I can't guarantee that one.
Speaker 2:No sexism towards other parties of the cast Nope.
Speaker 3:Nope, I'm not okay with that, unless you add ageism.
Speaker 1:I veto it.
Speaker 2:I'm not okay with that, unless you add ageism. I veto it. I think there needs to be an anti little bitch.
Speaker 1:All right, moving on.
Speaker 3:You just undid everything, you just worked for.
Speaker 1:A host may not deduct more than three season points from any well, uh, a house. What a host. A host may not deduct more than three season points from any contestant in any one given episode. I like to just word it in the worst way possible. It feels more legit longest run-on sentences ever. It feels more legit that way. The longest run on sentences ever. It feels more legit that way, if I'm being honest.
Speaker 3:Like a legal document.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you ever try to read a fucking legal document. That shit sucks.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I read them all the time. Remember, I'm the guy who reads the Barbary Legal Handbook for fun.
Speaker 2:While we're sitting here, I have two zip ties just chilling on my desk, so now I'm gonna try to break out of them.
Speaker 1:Okay, practice so under bonus and penalty points. That's legit.
Speaker 3:I'll watch this. Okay, wait, but are you by yourself Ready? Yep, oh he did it. I'm impressed and mildly turned on.
Speaker 2:I feel like that should get a point.
Speaker 3:That's pretty good, oh yeah, you got a point. All right, I'll give you a point break I'll give you a point.
Speaker 1:That's pretty cool. I honestly I I I figured you were gonna break it you earned a tip but part of me was was thinking just how funny it would be if you couldn't break it that's what I was thinking.
Speaker 2:Yo let yo let them try to catch me now that I ain't going back to picking nothing this is this guy.
Speaker 3:Josh is making fun of me because of my age regarding run on sentences, but you're the one who's writing it, this guy.
Speaker 1:I actually. There's an author, you know who writes the. What is it? The right and wrong? Compulsion of the state.
Speaker 3:I don't.
Speaker 1:Whoever wrote that one. That guy sucks that. That little booklet is full of the longest run on sentences I've ever read in my life, and I by the end of each sentence. I have no fucking idea what he was talking about in the beginning of the sentence I think he's a french dude it sucks it. Quite literally, these sentences are so long that I forget what he's talking about by the end of the sentence what was it the right and wrong?
Speaker 1:the right and wrong compulsion of the state or something like that the host tj has all control and veto veto for the edit.
Speaker 2:Oh, what oh oh okay, alex is gonna edit crazy oh, we didn't say that.
Speaker 1:We just said that we, you don't have all control, I have all powerful control over the edit I mean ultimately kind of yeah, write, write that down.
Speaker 3:You have first cut. You have first cut. I have final cut.
Speaker 1:Which we often don't.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because he won't give it to me. He did that one week. I was okay with that.
Speaker 2:My wife was in the hospital fucking Wednesday. I couldn't.
Speaker 1:She was dying.
Speaker 2:She wasn't dying, no, she had influenza B and she's a little fucking.
Speaker 1:She was dying.
Speaker 2:Little baby.
Speaker 3:So it was Mr Herbert Spencer.
Speaker 1:Herbert Spencer can go take a fucking grammar class.
Speaker 2:Herbert Spencer is a whack ass name. If you're named Herbert Spencer.
Speaker 3:I've always wanted a penguin. To name it Herbert.
Speaker 1:I've heard of that. Yeah, You've said that before.
Speaker 3:I wanted to name it Herbert, just so I could go out to the bar and ask a girl if I could bring her home and have her pet my penguin.
Speaker 2:I just thought it was a cool line. She appears Points to TJ, wife asks politely. That appears Points to TJ, wife asks politely.
Speaker 3:That's what she said. Uh, no, no, tj gets no points. You should have heard what he was saying just a minute ago.
Speaker 1:Okay to go over. Get us back on track To go over the Grand Survival Ranking System. The Will you Survive leaderboard will be a running, season-long ranking which must be kept to track each host's survival prowess or lack thereof. The ranking system at the end of each episode. The points are awarded as follows winner gets three points, second place gets one point and the host gets none. Bonus and penalty points.
Speaker 1:Throughout the season, contestants may earn or lose extra points based on different factors uh, decided by the host. There is a plus one survival bonus given if the host displays uh, or if a host displays exceptional survival reasoning, trivia or strategy. Minus one darren award deduction given if a host displays exceptional survival reasoning, trivia or strategy. Minus one Darwin Award deduction given if a host makes an especially terrible survival decision or claim. Minus one unruly behavior given if a host is especially unruly, distracting or disturbing to the main host. And plus two Comeback Kid Award if someone wins an episode after being at a dead loss. And number four, the anti-yoink clause a host may not deduct more than three season points from any contestant in any given episode.
Speaker 3:Okay, okay, all. Are there any appeals um? Can we vote on appeals later? We can yeah so we're open we could say open to appeals uh, sure, if we don't want to completely vote on it yet.
Speaker 3:Well, because I don't know of any situations and, as long as we can leave the matter open, because what I'm thinking is like something of a Darwin point, like I don't want you guys to give me a Darwin point. If I know for a fact, I can do what I'm telling you, and if I have the opportunity to prove it, oh, there's further.
Speaker 1:I have further laws on that.
Speaker 2:I, and if I have the opportunity to prove it, oh, there's further. I have further laws on that. I have one, okay, the blunt rotation clause.
Speaker 3:Okay, Puff, puff pass.
Speaker 2:The puff puff pass clause If somebody hasn't won within a certain amount of time, you know, because usually we'll kind of rotate through. But if somebody hasn't won for a while and then they win. I think we could do something with that, you know.
Speaker 1:I vote veto. I vote veto. That's just against you bro. I vote veto.
Speaker 2:I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 3:I was trying to help you out, okay, all right. All right, I see, I know what I'm doing here?
Speaker 1:I was trying to help you out, okay, all right. All right, I see I know what I'm doing here. Okay, when I want to win, I can win. You don't get nothing.
Speaker 2:I think that. But the two other, like you know, owners, hosts of the podcast get to make fun of said brand new winner host after loss of rotation.
Speaker 1:You know.
Speaker 2:So at the beginning of the episode. I feel like we get to make fun of you twice.
Speaker 1:You know he makes fun of you. I make fun of you.
Speaker 2:I don't like that.
Speaker 1:I don't think I'm going to add that one in.
Speaker 2:Oh look, he won the podcast.
Speaker 3:There you go. Exactly how cute. Okay, what do you think about this?
Speaker 1:Here's the thing there's nothing stopping you from doing that already. It's true so.
Speaker 2:I don't think there's a point in adding that in. We need to be immune to loss of points.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it would force us to make you win.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, that's what I don't want. I don't want to force you guys. I don't want to force anybody to make someone win, unless it becomes a problem.
Speaker 3:Assuming that this season.
Speaker 2:It's going to be the same as the other season.
Speaker 3:You can't lose every single season, I know you don't like to work.
Speaker 1:I have further laws, okay, you know, pick a movie or whatever okay, we could put these on hold well, but I think these will be after you hear the rest of them. I think this will be a pretty easy eye, okay, or yi uh. Title three host bribery and favoritism. I present encouraged I present the shameless suck up clause okay which is any contestant who blatantly flatters the host.
Speaker 1:For example, your survival knowledge is unmatched. A wise one may receive a one-time bonus point at the host discretion. That just makes it so that if, let's say, I get mad at you, Alex, for giving TJ points when he's sucking up to you, you're protected by the Constitution to give points as you see fit. You know what.
Speaker 3:Your survival knowledge is absolutely impeccable. I have to tell you, your legal acumen rivals my own and those of the highest scholars I've ever met. That's a good point there, Alex. Take a point.
Speaker 1:I got a point. Take a point. I like what you're trying. I've already given you two points.
Speaker 3:I'm going to hold off for now. I know what you're trying. I've already given you two points.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna hold off for now. You know what I like it, though I like it, though. They're here. Who the zombies? I thought the gate would stop them. They knocked it down instantly.
Speaker 3:How much time do we have? They're already here.
Speaker 1:We should have bought that beautiful Los Angeles dream house in that safe neighborhood that Corinne showed us. I know it was so much more defensible and Corinne would have had us moved in before the apocalypse.
Speaker 3:Do you think it's too late to call her now? I'll try. No, no, we should have called Corinne sooner. Don't wait until it's too late. Call Corinne Salas today at 714-510-6443. And buy your Los Angeles dream house now. That's 714-510-6443. You can also find her on Instagram at nexthomebycorinne, or visit her website at corinnesalasnexthomegrandviewcom. That's C-O-R-I-N-N-E-S-A-L-A-S dot nexthomegrandviewcom.
Speaker 1:I present the under the table deal provision Okay, Any contestant caught attempting to bribe the host with the promise of future wins, alliances or sabotage of the third co-host must lose three season points to their season ranking. Ooh, do not get caught. If you're caught.
Speaker 3:Do not? I like that, so if I walk in, On our handshake deal or if tj walks in. But we can, you know, just mute our mics yeah, true, true.
Speaker 1:He'll be like why are they so silent? Why are they? Why are they quiet? We were just talking. Okay, how do we feel about those two?
Speaker 3:I like them. Yeah, yai, yai.
Speaker 1:Yert Yai Yert Yert.
Speaker 3:Yoinks.
Speaker 1:Well, have you ever seen? It's Travis Scott right.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Travis Scott falls with autotune, so he's going and he just goes yert.
Speaker 3:It's so funny. I gotta watch that. That would be funny.
Speaker 1:Title four host tyranny and checks on power. Number one the survival dictator clause. The host rules with absolute authority until they make a survival claim so absurd that the other two unanimously veto that power. Okay, and in which case the host loses power for that episode. Number two the emergency coup rule. If a host abuses their power, for example awarding themselves extra points or season points, the other two may stage a survival coup, challenging the host to a survival trivia duel for control of the episode. Oh, so it's not a guaranteed thing. Oh, this is interesting. And then I present number three the let them eat cake law. Any host found guilty of excessive tyranny must provide a peace offering, for example, snacks, a movie choice, a free veto on a movie choice or something that we all agree Points, points, something we all agree is acceptable and sufficient $25.
Speaker 1:It will be a unanimous decision between the three of us.
Speaker 3:Okay, all right, um, I I need to go over the first one of this title again, the host rule or the survival dictator clause. Yes.
Speaker 1:Sure, the host rules with absolute authority until they make a survival claim so absurd that the other two unanimously veto that power.
Speaker 3:That's the one that I got to see. How do we prevent us from being retarded and making handshake deals, or do we not care?
Speaker 1:Well, that's what the under the table deal provision is for.
Speaker 3:Okay, so then I just got to catch If you guys make a, this sucks, though, okay, no, but no handshake deals that are not done in the booth. Yeah, it has to be done in the booth unanimously by all members in the booth Got it Got it. I like it, then I got it.
Speaker 1:And it has to be unanimous by all the members currently in DeBoof at the moment that the vote is taken.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's do it. And all handshake deals must be done in DeBoof.
Speaker 1:So this title All who agree on title four say yai.
Speaker 2:Yai, hey, eric, handshake deal.
Speaker 3:No Busted.
Speaker 1:I'm not trying to get caught on that Busted Tyranny, Tyranny Deal. To get caught under the deal provision, Well, it does say bribe the host with promises of future wins, alliances or sabotage of the third host. But I guess he could argue sabotage if I were to give you points for this.
Speaker 3:So like I couldn't say something like hey, I got your back against TJ. The next time I'm the host.
Speaker 1:Exactly Okay, that's colluding.
Speaker 3:So I won't say that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't say that, definitely don't say that. No, it looks good on a transcript. I said no.
Speaker 3:That was Bill Burr. She didn't say it like that.
Speaker 2:How much more? Of the bylaws we got.
Speaker 1:Okay, so that's all that I have. If we want to go back to Title II, which is the Grand Survival Ranking System, I would like to add one final thing at the end of it, just like right at the bottom small lettering really quick. Do we want to vote on the grand survival ranking system? Do we all agree on that?
Speaker 2:now that we've yeah so my thing was, you know, small print at the bottom yeah, your thing is small, I'm not the host.
Speaker 3:Small print at the bottom yeah, your thing is small, I'm not the host. So this isn't tyranny, you walked into it.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I can't do anything about that.
Speaker 3:It's out of my hands.
Speaker 1:Because it's so small.
Speaker 2:Hey, future CJ as the thumbnail for this episode, make it a highly edited picture of Alex drinking a can of oil. Because he's acting like a bot, anyways.
Speaker 3:So spiteful.
Speaker 2:Small print at the bottom.
Speaker 3:Triggered.
Speaker 2:I got a big print, anyways.
Speaker 3:Big print.
Speaker 2:Anyways, big print, as all members of this podcast are, as Alex likes to say, retards, if this is right at the bottom.
Speaker 3:I've never said that.
Speaker 2:If nobody points out the rule, rule doesn't exist.
Speaker 1:I actually do agree with that one.
Speaker 2:If we forget the rules, the rules don't apply.
Speaker 1:He got that from Distractible, but I do agree. If nobody catches the rule, then there is no penalty. Okay, so we're all getting copies of this.
Speaker 3:You're going to fax it to me, right?
Speaker 1:You have to catch it during the episode In the booth. Now, if you say something, and 20 minutes later.
Speaker 2:You have to catch it during the episode In the booth.
Speaker 1:All rules are to be caught in the booth. Now, if you say something and 20 minutes later, I realize wait a minute you broke a bylaw, that still counts.
Speaker 3:It's within the episode. It's in the booth. Got it In the episode in the booth.
Speaker 1:Okay, I will add that to the law of the wild. I'll add that as the fourth point.
Speaker 3:Also it's got to be caught by Du Bois in Duboof. This is the if you know, you know rule If you know, you know.
Speaker 2:Small print at the bottom. Also, josh gets to give out two points.
Speaker 3:Not three.
Speaker 2:Three points.
Speaker 1:Are these season points or just points?
Speaker 2:through every episode. It can be, you know, anytime he's in here, he can give out either three game points or three season points.
Speaker 1:Well, what about three game points or one season point? There you go, three game points, one season point, one or the other, one or the other, and he can split the points up however he wishes.
Speaker 3:But, shall we say, he has to be able to justify it.
Speaker 2:He does.
Speaker 1:Sure, the Josh clause With proper. Well, hang on. Josh may give out three episode points, or one season point per episode, uh, to any host of his choosing. Divided, however, he sees fit in whole numbers.
Speaker 3:In whole numbers, with appropriate rationalization.
Speaker 1:What's the right way to say it? Where it's like, it's not like. Let's see, let's see, let's see. Josh may give out three episode points or one season point per episode to any host of his choosing. Divided, however, he sees fit in whole numbers Within reason. Provided, provided, provided. He gives proper rationalization. Justification.
Speaker 3:Justification is good too.
Speaker 1:Justification.
Speaker 2:In smaller print. Previous law is trumped, if only he like. If he's not top viewer, then it goes to whoever's top viewer.
Speaker 1:Wait, should we just call it the, the? The our number one fan clause.
Speaker 3:Our number one fan clause. Yeah, so if somebody else trumps him? The number one fan clause, you know this is pretty good because we can get people engaging if they're the number one fan.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to lie, though. Josh has a special place in my heart.
Speaker 3:Josh is always going to be one of these guys.
Speaker 1:He's been with us from the beginning. We'll have to write him in somewhere else.
Speaker 3:Josh is written in. We don't actually have to find another. We'll have to write them in somewhere else. Josh is written in we don't have to say that we don't actually have to add that last part, but we should say that. Top viewer.
Speaker 1:Well, how about we have the number one fan clause and we have the Josh?
Speaker 3:clause I like that the Josh clause and then the number one fan clause.
Speaker 1:The Josh clause.
Speaker 3:We've got to show Josh love.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that one's permanent Santa Claus' brother, his lesser known brother, josh.
Speaker 3:Claus, he's like bad Santa.
Speaker 2:He gives out packs of Newports by the gas station.
Speaker 3:When I smoked, dude, I would have taken a pack.
Speaker 2:They're already open. He likes the plastic.
Speaker 3:I fucking love that it's already opened.
Speaker 1:All right, let's vote on the Josh clause and the number one fan clause. All who vote yes say a yi Yi.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:And then let me add at the bottom this is a. I'm going to write it in small print. I'm going to write it so Alex can't see it. In the event that I got my reading glasses on dick. No hosts notice the breaking of any of the above bylaws, no penalty shall be enforced. Uh well, I think that's good enough. In the event that no hosts notice the breaking of any of the above bylaws, no penalty shall be enforced, just to add, during the episode in the booth. In the event that no host noticed the breaking of any of the above bylaws in the during the episode during the episode comma in the booth in the booth, no penalty shall be enforced.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay, uh, cool. I think that's pretty solid guys. I like it we're gonna have to study this shit. I will say this is homework. I had one more article. I want to run it by really quick before we end the episode, just see if we potentially want to include it. I call it the scorched earth protocol. It's title five, uh, number one. It's the declaration of total desperation. A contestant who is too far behind to win may officially invoke the scorched earth protocol by dramatically announcing if I can't survive.
Speaker 1:No one can and then number two tactical sabotage options. Once invoked, the doomed contestant may choose one of the following sabotage tactics, the first being the point purge. Force the host to reevaluate one of their past rulings and if the ruling is overturned, points may be redistributed as the host deems fair.
Speaker 2:I I'm thinking of edits for this. It's like the Call of Duty nuke sound Like if no one will survive. It's like ooch, ooch, ooch. And then there's like a thing in the background rolling back points.
Speaker 1:I like this the second sabotage option is the sudden death showdown. Challenge another contestant to a one-question survival duel. If the challenger wins, they steal a number of points that the host deems fair if they lose.
Speaker 1:They lose the season point. Oh damn, I think the season point should be lost if this, on any of these, if you lose the dispute, okay yeah. And number three the um actually gambit. Uh, call out a survival fact stated earlier in the episode and demand an emergency fact check. If the fact is wrong, the person who stated it loses a number of points that the host deems fair. Oh, I love it, and now I do have. There is a third part of this that I didn't. I didn't write down, but essentially, essentially, we could add it in. It essentially says that if the Scorched Earth protocol is used too many times in a single season, a host may deem the next episode a Preserved Earth episode where a Scorched Earth protocol cannot be called Okay.
Speaker 3:I like those. I think what we might have to do is add a protocol that the host must the main host must be keeping track of points during the episode, and the person who feels like they are falling behind can call a point count.
Speaker 1:So where I think that gets tricky is that each episode is kind of graded and pointed on its own scale. For instance, some episodes you win with four points and TJ has three, others you have twelve and he has eleven.
Speaker 3:Right, but the reason why I say that is how would you know you're so far behind?
Speaker 1:Well, I think, if you're invoking Scorched Earth, it should be like everyone knows you have lost this episode. Okay, is how would you know you're so far behind? Well, I think if, if you're invoking scorched earth, it should be like uh, everyone knows you have lost this episode okay all right, very good that's fine that's. What I imagine is that you would only use this where it's like you guaranteed lost this episode.
Speaker 3:This will likely be invoked at the end of an episode before point counting you mean, like it should have been that last jeopardy episode when I annihilated you?
Speaker 1:absolutely not?
Speaker 3:should have fucking called Scorched Earth, like I'm halfway through that episode, yeah but I still won.
Speaker 1:Actually, I didn't need to call it. I already knew, because shit was rigged. No, I didn't know, I didn't know.
Speaker 3:I knew you were rigging it.
Speaker 1:So I guess the third point, we'll call it the Green Earth Initiative. The we'll call it the green earth initiative. If scorched earth has been called more than how many times? More than twice in a season?
Speaker 3:a host may deem the not twice in a season, twice in a row, two episodes in a row okay, uh, if, oh, hang on, we'll call it the the green.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, I can't type, I can't type. I can't type, I can't type. The green Earth initiative. If the Scorched Earth Protocol has been invoked two episodes in a row, whether successfully or failed, I would think a host may proclaim the next episode to be a green earth episode, allowing for no scorched earth protocols to be invoked. Okay, so the Green Earth Initiative. If the scorched earth protocol has been invoked two episodes in a row, whether successfully or failed, a host may proclaim the next episode to be a Green Earth episode, allowing for no scorched earth protocols to be invoked. I like it Cool.
Speaker 2:The um protocol.
Speaker 1:Every time you say um, you lose a point.
Speaker 2:If it is called out by another host that the said host has said um more than 30 times in the episode. You got down your drink, but you got to really be paying attention.
Speaker 1:I was going to gonna say what are you gonna count our ums? But it'd be like next episode you know we didn't add a bylaw about always having a drink. Always have to have a drink. Okay, I'll add that to.
Speaker 3:Uh, lay of the, the law of the wild now, before we close out this episode, you're ruining this family Before we close out this episode.
Speaker 1:You're ruining this family, hang on, hang on. You're ruining, not running ruining this family law. That's beautiful. All hosts must have an adult drink for the episode, which all who vote for it say aye yeah okay, scorched earth protocol. Um, the only change that I made is that, for the tactical sabotage uh, if the challenger, uh, if the rulings are not overturned and the challenger's scorched earth is denied, they lose a season. Point. The challenger Ooh.
Speaker 3:I love it.
Speaker 1:So it means that you don't want to invoke it unless you're pretty sure it's going to go your way, not willy-nilly. So all who agree say aye.
Speaker 3:Aye.
Speaker 1:Cool.
Speaker 3:And we did cover what you benefit from. The total season points right.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? Like how you get them.
Speaker 3:No, what we're counting them for? What is the victory?
Speaker 1:Oh well, that's kind of up in the air at the moment. Eventually, you win the season. What is that? Initially? Well, I was thinking that if you win the season, you become the host for the first episode, for the first episode of the next season, even if you weren't the winner of the previous episode. Do we want to add that in, or do we just that's fine, let's start with that and we can amend as we go.
Speaker 2:I think we can go on having TJ be the host of the first episode of YouTube Nope, I think this has happened too many times.
Speaker 1:Me too, two.
Speaker 2:Add in a.
Speaker 3:Gepardy clause no more Gepardy. You know, you said final, I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 1:I was going to add some Gepardy laws Just in case we had another Gepardy, but I kind of thought you might bring some of those.
Speaker 2:What Gepardy laws?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:There's not going to be another Gepardy.
Speaker 3:So here's a before we end the episode, I have a plea to make, host uh, you're not the host shut up, so I have an idea for an episode that is unique. We haven't done it before now the fact that you guys are gonna have to watch a movie that we've already watched. We're gonna cover a movie we've already covered, but you're going to have to watch it with, with intent. You're going to have to pay attention during the movie because I want to do a very unique episode of will you survive the podcast. So, if you guys are down, tell me if I'm the winner of the next episode and I'll tell you what it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, think uh shut up tj I think that's boring, I think, uh, mr shut up, sir I have a really good pick for uh you got nothing episode uh I think it's called it's called cockneys versus zombies you've got nothing a group of bank robbers, pensioners and a war veteran from east london's end fight their way through England's zombie infested capital as their ill conceived attempt to save a retirement home goes around you didn't help your case old British people versus zombies. That's hilarious.
Speaker 1:I didn't like Shaun of the Dead. No, but it's not.
Speaker 2:Shaun of the Dead. Shaun of the Dead is that's. The guy who made Shaun of the Dead has a very particular style of filmmaking. It's not going to be anything like that.
Speaker 3:I think I should win.
Speaker 1:I don't like either of my options.
Speaker 2:Okay well, you know what?
Speaker 1:You don't like something different. Well, I am actually very curious what that would be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, hear me out, I got another proposition.
Speaker 1:Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 2:You get to choose next episode's movie I will host. You get to choose, just because you didn't get to do one this time.
Speaker 1:Going on that idea. Actually, that was actually kind of a little bit of an idea that I had with whoever wins the season gets to decide the movie for the first episode and they can decide whether or not they want to host it. So to fuck with someone, if I win a season but Alex won the last episode of the season, I can pick Zombies the Beginning and make Alex host that.
Speaker 2:That sucks. That'd be funny, that's just mean.
Speaker 1:That was an idea that I had, if we want to add that in.
Speaker 3:You didn't say it right.
Speaker 1:I would say yeah, can't say it right, I would say, yeah, can't do anything right.
Speaker 2:You're gay and have arm hair like a bear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those are definitely mutually exclusive.
Speaker 3:That was weird.
Speaker 2:I don't know Gays, go for you, man, the list.
Speaker 1:What was the last one? We said, oh the host.
Speaker 3:The host picks the movie for the winner of the season.
Speaker 1:And decides whether or not.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the winner of the episode.
Speaker 1:I'll add that to the grand raking system.
Speaker 2:But we haven't done anything for losers. So I was thinking you know small little thing, loser.
Speaker 3:You would think about the small little things.
Speaker 2:Loser gets an edited picture posted on the Instagram, created by yours truly. But what if it's you? Then I'll do it.
Speaker 3:I'll let you do it. I don't know how to do it.
Speaker 2:Or we could you know.
Speaker 3:Are you going to cartoon us?
Speaker 2:Loser of season must do forfeit of some sort Decided by unanimous decision of last episode. Forfeit of some sort decided by Eunice's decision of last episode well, what if?
Speaker 1:what if the loser of the season is? Josh, I thought you were on my side what if, whoever loses the season for the rest of the next season, they're referred to as the first to die?
Speaker 3:oh, so you lose the season and all next season. You're the first to die. Oh so you lose the season and all next season.
Speaker 1:You're the first to die any situation you're, you're the first to die I kind of like that.
Speaker 3:I kind of like that, even if they're not the winner is the ultimate survivor. They get all the bragging rights everything yep, but the losers, you it's in the shut up first to die it's in the cards call that the rosy claw. I kind of like that I got the rosy claws.
Speaker 1:Now she'll be the second the season winner no, I like that the season winner rule uh, this one is season loser rule. The winner of the season may decide, uh, which movie or topic will be featured in the first episode of the next season, and can decide whether or not he will host. And then the losers, the season loser the season loser rule. And what was this one again?
Speaker 3:we're gonna call it the first to die rule or the first to die rule like that.
Speaker 1:You agree with this? Tj. Yeah, first to die rule the loser of the season is the ultimate loser and will be referred to for the duration of the next season as the first to die in every situation possible.
Speaker 3:It's harsh. I love it.
Speaker 1:Cool. All those in favor of those two say yi.
Speaker 3:Yi.
Speaker 1:All right, I feel like we're pretty solid on the Constitution now.
Speaker 3:I like it. There's one thing that now, going back to the serious stuff, one thing that I wanted to add a little more clarification to was the financials. I did say profit, which was pretty clear, but I do want to be a little more specific regarding what that means. We have you and I have expenses in this. Expenses get covered first.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Right, I think we're on the same page Actually let me say it better Advertisement and advertisement, promotion and marketing come first.
Speaker 1:I think we're on the same page with that.
Speaker 3:Then we reimburse expenses, then we go towards splitting profits. Yeah, but now, before we even get to profits, guys, what I would like to get us to is a point where we submit time cards and get paid for our time I think this is more like a a real paperwork thing versus our podcast constitution okay, well, we could do that. So, uh, you're excellent jurist yes. You are the judge of judges Oof.
Speaker 1:I am the founding, I'm also the author. I'm better than George Washington.
Speaker 3:Actually James Madison.
Speaker 2:Nah, you didn't own as many slaves.
Speaker 3:The father of the Constitution.
Speaker 1:I don't think that's the metric we want to rate the presidents on.
Speaker 2:You're sounding pretty broke to me.
Speaker 1:You were no Thomas Jefferson, so.
Speaker 2:All yours were, you know, like $2, $3.
Speaker 3:You got the skinny weak ones, so you didn't own as many as Jackson did. Oh, what Wait.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I'm Jackson Wait TJ.
Speaker 3:Now you're excellent, excellent jurist. I'm wondering if I can get the victory out of you. So, that I can tell you what my idea is, that I think would be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, dj said he doesn't want to win. Congratulations, alex. You are the first. Well, I'm the first winner of this season, but you're the first winner of the season with rules.
Speaker 2:That's right and laws. Yeah, you're the first winner of the season.
Speaker 3:First winner of the season with rules and laws.
Speaker 1:This constitution does not apply to previous episodes. That's why I'm saying I forfeited my free three points for the last episode.
Speaker 2:I feel like I could have rightfully fought for those and I decided not to. I give you one season.
Speaker 1:I will hold you to that when you are a host, nice, because if I give it to myself there's going to be problems.
Speaker 3:So here's what I think we should do.
Speaker 2:Okay, nobody cares what you think.
Speaker 3:Shut up loser.
Speaker 2:Until next time.
Speaker 3:What a loser. So Dawn of the dead I wanted to redo dawn of the dead with tj. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. It's going to be like a live uh reporter situation. You and tj are going to be the reporters on the ground and we're going to talk from the perspective of giving a news report oh, that's hilarious, I want you guys to be in character, wait. So we're going to talk from the perspective of giving a news report.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's hilarious. I want you guys to be in character. Wait, so we're going to watch the movie. Should we make our news characters? And then are you just going to give us a scene from the movie? Yes, and we have to report on that scene. Yes, I'm going to be a wild news reporter.
Speaker 3:That's exactly what I want to do.
Speaker 1:Okay, I really like that idea to do okay.
Speaker 3:I really like that idea. That's very original.
Speaker 1:Yeah, kind of boring, shut up, you really like it. I could tell he's already coming up with his character. He is, I can hear him. I can hear him thinking of markiplier's impressions. I mean, like which one can?
Speaker 3:I which? Which? Which impersonation can I do?
Speaker 1:markiplier has really funny. Uh, news journalist voices well he has a really good tj.
Speaker 3:has a really good white guy voice that I think he would use yeah.
Speaker 1:What's your white guy voice? Tj, which one?
Speaker 3:Well, you have multiple Well if you were doing a white guy at a, a white guy reporter. It's like the Dave Chappelle white guy. Uh, yes, alex. Oh, we're out in the field. Yes, alex, yes Alex.
Speaker 2:We're out in the field. People are dying everywhere. This zombie is biting my leg off.
Speaker 3:currently I can feel the burning, searing pain, of my tendons being ripped out of my thighs. You might want to move.
Speaker 2:You might want to move there, TJ. In good news, the New York Giants have found their new point guard.
Speaker 3:You don't have to report on that news right now.
Speaker 1:You got to be like the reporters, where you say something and you just yes.
Speaker 3:That's a good point, Alex. I think the natural delay is going to cover us on that.
Speaker 2:I was also thinking we could put something in there about what we do during the seasons, because I feel like at least one TV series per season.
Speaker 1:I think we've naturally been doing that. I will say for your sake, TJ. I want to wrap this up. I think we set a good foundation, but if we go on any longer.
Speaker 2:I think we can go on for another 20 minutes so I have a meeting tomorrow morning subsection C and I think we're done.
Speaker 1:I am not off, I am still a host, sir, to the podcast.
Speaker 2:You can check us out on all of our socials, which are going to be given to you by Alex.
Speaker 3:Yes, that's right, dj. You can check us out on all of our socials. That's TikTok Facebook Instagram at Will you Survive the podcast. Go look us up on YouTube, check out the Boys at WIS or just search Will you Survive the Podcast. Please send us your emails, tell us any movies you want us to cover, any topics you'd like to hear us discuss, or your criticisms. Send those to the Boys at WillYouSurviveThePodcastcom. That's T-H-E-B-O-Y-S at WillYouSurviveThePodcastcom.
Speaker 1:And if you're interested in some gaming content, you should go check out. Will you survive gaming, where TJ and I play different survival games or sometimes just fun games and we post clips of that and you should go check that out. We also go live on there. I've recently been doing a Skyrim cause she bare hands only play through and it's been miserable. So come check that out. That's pretty funny.
Speaker 2:I love it. That's pretty much it. Host, would you like to?
Speaker 1:Alright, guys. Well, I am proud of us. We have founded a great document that I'm sure we will totally pay attention to and will totally not fall into oblivion within the half of this season, and I hope everybody enjoyed this episode. It's very different from what we do and you got something to say no, I'm good.
Speaker 2:Okay, you sure, if I don't survive, no one does. No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:No, stay alive, Thank you.
