Will You Survive... The Podcast
Immerse yourself in the world of cinema as we embark on a journey to equip you with the skills to tackle any disaster head-on. Through the lens of thrilling tales, particularly those of the zombie apocalypse, we'll unravel the secrets of preparedness. Join us as we explore the silver screen to empower you for the challenges that lie ahead.
Will You Survive... The Podcast
Will You Survive: Devils advocate
Could a baseball bat save your life in a zombie apocalypse, or is it time to sharpen your sword skills? The debate is on as Alex, TJ, and I, Eric, square off on the ultimate zombie survival myths. We kick things off with a lively discussion on whether blunt or sharp weapons are your best allies when the undead come knocking. TJ throws his weight behind the humble baseball bat, raising concerns about the rust and tetanus that come with metal blades. Meanwhile, we're here to remind you that thinking on your feet and adapting quickly are just as crucial as the weapons you carry.
When it comes to firearms versus melee weapons, the stakes are high, and the conversation never loses its playful edge. Alex makes a compelling case for firearms, pointing out their range and the plentiful ammo supply in the U.S. But TJ is quick to counter with the stealthy, infinite use of melee weapons. We don’t shy away from discussing the human element, like raiders, as we ponder how different weapons might serve you in a cityscape. From sound traps to stealth tactics and the art of face paint, this chapter is packed with vivid imagery and tactical banter.
Finally, we tackle the age-old question: to pack heavy or keep it light? I argue that being well-prepared with a heavier load is the way to go, while Alex champions the nimble, resourceful approach of traveling light. There's a lot to consider, from strategic locations like malls and prisons to the merits of urban versus rural survival. Whether it's using zombies to plow fields or setting traps for pirates, our creative exchanges promise to keep your survival instincts sharp. So, buckle up for a whirlwind of humor-filled, thought-provoking survival tactics that might just make you the hero of your own apocalypse story.
Hello survivors, and welcome to another episode of Will you Survive, the Podcast. We're coming in with a lot of hot energy today. I'm your host, Eric, and I'm joined by my two competitors today. Competitor Alex that's me and TJ.
Speaker 1:What's up, my name is jelen quenion stank face and I am here yeah, someone's got energy today, and you know what I'm tempted to give points, but I want to keep this as fair as possible. I kind of want to get straight to the point. A while ago and I mean a while ago we did an episode where it was an episode that I hosted. I don't remember the act, the exact episode name if I was responsible I would have gone back and found out the title and all that. But essentially we compared things survival like weapons. For instance, we did like blunt versus sharp guns, guns versus melee. Are baseball bats with nails viable? So we did a bunch of kind of just analysis of what was it called?
Speaker 2:I think that was. It was zombie survival myths.
Speaker 1:I think that's what it was, yeah.
Speaker 2:Zombie survival myths August 2nd.
Speaker 1:So working. Thank you, tj, plus one point.
Speaker 3:Let me, you're so smart You're.
Speaker 1:Thank you, tj, plus one point Let me.
Speaker 3:You're so smart.
Speaker 2:You're so smart TJ.
Speaker 1:Do you have a?
Speaker 2:green book TJ. What color is your book?
Speaker 1:I don't have a green book. My book is black.
Speaker 2:Mine's a hardcover green book. It's pretty nice.
Speaker 1:TJ plus one. Okay, so today I want to build upon that list by playing a little game of devil's advocate. Are you guys familiar with that game?
Speaker 2:Yeah, not, I know. I'm not very devil's advocate.
Speaker 1:Okay. For for those who don't know, essentially I'm going to pick a topic. I'm going to say something along the lines of, like, blunt or sharp weapons, and going back to our previous episode, we picked sharp weapons to be. I believe we picked sharp weapons to be the better choice of those two. Let's say, for argument's sake, guns versus melee. We agreed melee was better because guns are too loud. So in a game of devil's advocate, somebody will play the devil's advocate. So one of you will take the side of melee and the other person will be forced to take the side of gun and both of you will present your arguments for why your side is the superior method or the superior answer. Whether I actually agree with you or not really does not matter. I'm kind of looking for the goofs, I'm looking for the ha-has, I'm looking for any actual good pieces of wisdom in there. If you're on the right side, what's in the black Sure.
Speaker 1:Warning.
Speaker 3:Warning, warning, warning.
Speaker 2:Warning TJ.
Speaker 3:Skincolor. I'm black.
Speaker 1:What's in the blood? It's OG Kush.
Speaker 2:OG Kush.
Speaker 1:OG Kush.
Speaker 2:I think zombies would personally go for more like a Pineapple Express.
Speaker 3:I think they'd want some purple nurple. You sure they don't. No fuck that you know what they would go for Northern lights Nah you sure they don't want that brain rot.
Speaker 2:It's like that type of weed.
Speaker 1:I don't know, it probably is A good one. Small talk.
Speaker 2:Speaking of brain rot, that's in. I don't know, it probably is small talk. Speaking of brain rot, that's in. What was it like Webster's dictionary now? Brain rot's an actual like phrase now, like it's a word.
Speaker 1:Webster's dictionary went downhill ever since they allowed YOLO into the dictionary.
Speaker 2:I think it's like a really reputable dictionary.
Speaker 3:Okay, what I would say is, speaking of brain rot. Everybody, remember to go check out our Instagram and Facebook. Will you survive the podcast? Will you survive the podcast on Instagram and Facebook? Because it looks like TikTok is going to be banned starting January 19th 2025. All right?
Speaker 1:Well, you heard it here January 19th 2025. All right, well, you heard it here. We're moving over. All right, so are you guys ready? I'm ready.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, how do we do this? Here, you two Play a game of rock paper scissors.
Speaker 2:Oh geez.
Speaker 1:Rock I'll paper scissors. Oh jeez, rock I'll count it down. Ready set rock paper scissors shoot.
Speaker 3:All right, there's a little bit of a delay.
Speaker 1:A little bit, but I'm keeping you guys honest. He's going. When he sees it, ready Rock paper scissors shoot. All right, so TJ wins. Tj would you like to play the devil's advocate or not?
Speaker 2:I feel like you're just going to be like zombie, hitler or something. You know like I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll be devil's advocate.
Speaker 1:You'll play the devil's advocate, yeah, okay, okay. First argument is blunt versus sharp. If I remember correctly, we said sharp was the better of the options. So, alex, you will be taking the side of sharp and TJ you will be taking the side of blunt TJ because you won the rock paper scissors. I will allow you to go first, or you could choose.
Speaker 2:I'll go first. You see, mr Host, that was so long ago that we said such things about Blunt versus Sharp, when in reality. Sharp isn't always the best option Because most of the time sharp is metal. Metal rusts right and that gives you more of a chance to cut yourself and get tetanus. Tetanus isn't good, you don't want to yeah, you don't.
Speaker 1:You don't want lockjaw on the apocalypse.
Speaker 2:I agree you don't want lockjaw on the apocalypse, they're you know. So I believe that blunt weapons such as baseball bats, a lamp you know any of those? Would be better just a lamp katana. What are you? A fucking nerd like yeah. What are you a weeb?
Speaker 3:right, a weeb, you don't? Yeah, yeah, machete.
Speaker 2:A kakuri? Who the fuck? What is even a kakuri?
Speaker 1:Yeah, honestly.
Speaker 2:That sounds like a Pokemon, you know. So you know me in the apocalypse, I'm going to go with the good old Louisville Slugger and I'm going ham on some zombie brains.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's a solid argument. That's a solid argument, alex. Okay, that's a solid argument. That's a solid argument, uh, alex.
Speaker 3:Well, so I would say a sharp instrument is the way to go. A blunt instrument is going to cause a lot of splatter. You're going to have to worry about getting splatter in your eyes, in your mouth, in any open wounds in your nose. Right, you gotta be mindful of this. The sharp you can mitigate how much splatter is coming your way if you keep that blade sharp. And there are stones that you can use in nature to keep that blade sharp.
Speaker 3:Also, the other thing is you don't rust the blade as long as you clean it after you've unalived with it so you make sure you keep your instruments clean and clear and sharpen them, and as long as you keep a good edge on it, you're going to limit how much blood splatter you have coming your way. You're going to be able to cut through the zombie heads like butter and you're going to keep going down your merry way living, living life, gathering supplies, going back to the camp and remaining unbitten for longer than if you have a melee blunt weapon.
Speaker 1:Rebuttal.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, I was going to say do I get a rebuttal? Okay, reducing blood splatter. Who really cares about reducing blood splatter? Thank you, who are you? You actually hang on really quick tj.
Speaker 1:Uh, plus one point for saying spatter and not splatter. You said splatter the first time, but then you said spatter, it's spatter.
Speaker 2:Oh, you fucking anyways, oh geez me.
Speaker 1:Dexter taught me that.
Speaker 2:I am one who loves video games, loves all things like D&D type stuff. Right, usually you got like a front liner up there. What does that guy have? Armor? What is armor if not your full body covered, including your face? Face, so you wouldn't get any blood spatter on you. You'd get it on the stuff around you which, true, could easily be cleaned if you just jump in a lake or something but, like you know, if you get blood on your bat, I think the the blood will just harden it. It gets better with age.
Speaker 1:I will say something I was going to say. I didn't want to take a side, but what I was going to say is that a lot of what you were saying, alex, relies on said owner actually maintaining their blade. It seems like with a blunt object you don't really have to do much maintenance and hear me out.
Speaker 2:The more it breaks, the more you have to fix it In turn, using screws and stuff, making it more deadly as you go. Oh, it's starting to get a split down the middle. Wrap some barbed wire around that thing. Oh, it's know, chips here, chips there.
Speaker 1:that's fine, I'll just you know drill a two by four to it yeah, perfect so it sounds like iterate.
Speaker 2:I would be in the apocalypse with a bat with nails, bar wire, and I would be in an entire suit of medieval armor rolling down the street on a bike. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 3:I appreciate all of that. I appreciate all of that, and I do not. I don't even argue a single point, because you just proved that sharp is better than blunt. You would put sharp instruments through your blunt object to make it more effective. You would wrap it with sharp objects, not sharp Barbed wire and nails are sharp Barbed wire is not sharp.
Speaker 2:Razor wire is sharp, barbed wire is sharp.
Speaker 3:Barbed wire is sharp.
Speaker 2:There's a difference between pokey and sharp.
Speaker 3:You can't. No, I had a piece of splintered wood.
Speaker 2:You wouldn't say I had a piece of splintered wood. You wouldn't say, oh, that might cut you.
Speaker 1:You're going to say oh that might poke you it's not sharps, it's pokey. I'll give you a point, alex, because that's a fair point.
Speaker 3:However, you also destroyed Eric's argument that there's no maintenance needed. You proved that there's a lot of maintenance needed for blunt objects. You will also splinter and shatter them far more often than you would a sharp instrument, so you're going to have to find new ones repetitively. Okay, but what?
Speaker 1:about like metal bats. That's a little different. Now, hang on, metal bats do bend.
Speaker 3:They do bend and break.
Speaker 1:What I'll say, before you lose your point, is that I'll give you a point, because that's a fair point, that barbed wire I would consider sharp, nails and such I would consider sharp. However, what I will say to counter that is that in a video game, when you add nails to a bat, it doesn't become a sharp weapon. It's still a blunt weapon, although it has sharp bits to it.
Speaker 2:It is still considered a blunt weapon.
Speaker 1:Although it has sharp bits to it, it is still considered a blunt weapon.
Speaker 2:Sharp means that if you swing at something, it has a possibility to cut through said thing.
Speaker 1:It's a blade. A sharp is a blade. Is there any sharp weapon that's not a blade?
Speaker 3:Yeah, Like what? Like a rapier That'll poke. Okay, you're right, you like what? Like a rapier that'll poke okay, you're right.
Speaker 1:You're right, a rapier is uh that's, that's pointy, that's pokey more of a stabby pokey weapon.
Speaker 2:You don't go for slashes but that's not a melee yeah, but you don't go for bonks.
Speaker 1:I feel like a bonk is a very that's a very blunt weapon for sharp, you go for slashing damage, you don't go for blunt damage. There's no bonkage in a katana, I think I've heard all that I need to hear.
Speaker 2:Write that down in our rule book. No bonkage in a katana.
Speaker 3:There's bonkage on the handle.
Speaker 2:You could bonkage with the handle, okay, but then that means that you'd have to have your hand near the zombie, which wouldn't be very conducive to being alive.
Speaker 3:Close combat, close combat. You use anything you have.
Speaker 1:But you could do the same with a blunt weapon. It's the bunt of the weapon.
Speaker 3:All I'm saying is there is bonkage.
Speaker 1:All I'm saying is you look more badass with a baseball bat.
Speaker 2:Look at Negan. He became one of the best characters on the show.
Speaker 1:I got to say I think baseball bat look at negan, who became one of the best characters on the show. I gotta say I think I'm gonna give that point to tj. He brought up a lot of good points. I will say, alex, what I think would have won it if you started talking about modifying blades like dead island really electrifying and shit like that. Oh yeah, I might have fallen into it for sure, but he was, but he was adding shit. You're making me go like you could add plus five zap damage.
Speaker 3:So I'm trying to talk as if we're stuck out in the wilderness and I'm using natural stones to sharpen my blade and keep them sharp.
Speaker 2:Okay, Hattori, Hanzo bros next door. How are you not going to give any? Any credit for using natural elements okay, I'm talking about the most important part cleaning your blade.
Speaker 1:Everything is natural elements at that point maybe an argument to be made there, but I don't know for sure about that one. All right, let's move on. Alex, this time you will be. You'll be playing devil's advocate. You will be on the side of pew-pews TJ. You are melee and Alex, I'll let you go first this time.
Speaker 3:So the benefit of having a pew-pew is obvious that you can keep them at a distance. You're not going to let them get close up on you. You can also use them as. We've loved the example of setting off. I think we called them a, not noise alarms, sound traps right, you can fire off in one place far away and then work your way around. So if you're outside of the, on the outskirts of a town, you can fire off on one side and work around the outside of that perimeter and get there before the zombies see you or hear you, as long as you're quiet enough. You can also take out more of them. You're going to be able to do it without getting fatigued. Yes, you are going to draw a lot of them on you, but the other benefit, the benefit to drawing more of them on you, is that you can blast away and draw them all out to you.
Speaker 3:So if you have a group, maybe you can be the decoy. You can get up on a roof, you can fire off at them. They start coming to you and then your group runs in and ransacks the general mark. So now you have some supplies that you're leaving with. You can with a pew pew, you can cut a path through them. As long as you're a good shot, you can cut a path through them and get out safely. Those are some of the reasons why I think a pew pew in the zombie apocalypse would be better all right, tj.
Speaker 1:Why are melee weapons the better option?
Speaker 2:first I would like to say my first counterpoint unless you are well versed in the making of ammo, you're eventually gonna run out and melee weapons will reign supreme bro, far further into the apocalypse.
Speaker 3:This is the zombie apocalypse.
Speaker 2:We all know how to fucking reload ammo well I said if you eventually ammo is going to run out, as in, you're going to shoot the last, you're going to have to make it and unless you're Eugene, you're not surviving. You know what will survive Melee weapons. Melee weapons are eternal and they're everywhere. With your katana, with your handy katana that everybody should have in the apocalypse, because sharp weapons are superior.
Speaker 1:Interesting, interesting take.
Speaker 2:You can be out in the woods sharpening it with a rock.
Speaker 3:Right, that's a very interesting take.
Speaker 2:It never runs out of ammo.
Speaker 1:Oh, you may get tired. That's such a good point, tj, but Using the natural resources around you, you fucking dicks.
Speaker 3:This is unbelievable.
Speaker 1:That's a really good point, TJ.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, and you know you're going to draw people and you're going to draw people, zombies, whatever in towards your gunfire. That mean you're saying you're going to draw people, zombies, whatever, in towards your gunfire and you're saying you're going to use less stamina but you're going to be having to move from the things that are chasing you, unless you have like a minigun to mow them all down. You're going to have to keep moving, which in turn, like depletes your stamina. You're not going to have a place to stay. They're going to know where you're at constantly.
Speaker 2:But if you got a sword or a blunt weapon or whatever any type of melee that's silent okay, you're in, you're in a hospital or something, some crowded building, and there's, you know, zombies on each floor. You can take those out easy, conquer that whole building. Get all the supplies.
Speaker 3:You got a gun, only a gun, okay who thinks they're tori hanzo now, unless you think that you are so well versed with a blade that you can clear out an entire building crazy in war.
Speaker 2:In war, they found that guns are not enough. What did they do? They strapped melee weapons to the guns.
Speaker 1:Bayonets. So I would like to present a. What would you? How would you say? I say that, like I don't speak fluent English.
Speaker 2:You speak great English, sir.
Speaker 1:Let me add a situation to this. Let's think the Walking Dead universe. And now let's consider people or raiders or something along that lines. Where does your argument fall now with guns versus melee?
Speaker 3:I'm way better off with guns I'm way better off I'm able to I'm able to take them out and then, not to mention see, you are so short-sighted. You're sitting here thinking that I only have one type of gun and one type of ammo. Do you realize? In the united states alone, there are over 400 million guns and 1.3 trillion rounds of ammunition.
Speaker 1:I'm not running out for any fucking amount of time in the near future. I would like to add one thing. I do agree with you. However, I will say, depending on your location, you are way more likely to find a melee weapon than a gun.
Speaker 2:Oh wait, there's a damn table leg right there. What that's a lamp?
Speaker 3:Oh shit, whoa that's not a sharp weapon. That's not a sharp weapon no, but melee.
Speaker 2:Guess what? That is still melee, that's melee. And guess what In this situation, with the Raiders right In the city, in the city, here?
Speaker 3:we have three. Right in our general area there are three National Guard depots. Not only do they have Humvees with .50 cals sitting on top of them, with the ammunition in the warehouse, but they have bazookas.
Speaker 2:Assuming you can get into there. You can get in, they can see the glint off your forehead from 10 miles away. But me.
Speaker 3:I'm in the darkness.
Speaker 2:I got my hood on my hidden blade and my katana.
Speaker 3:Okay, let's not make this about race. Okay, I can paint my face black too.
Speaker 1:Well, anyways.
Speaker 2:Plus one point for Incog Negro.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'll give you that point. That's a good point, dang, that was.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. I feel like TJ might win that off of that.
Speaker 3:Oh, come on, Be damned. All of the actual arguments, just the one comment at the end, and I'm the one who said it. He just came up with the clever phrase. Okay, I'm the one. I wanted to bring something up, though.
Speaker 1:I had a point. Okay, go ahead, rebuttal, so you said Raiders right.
Speaker 2:He's like oh, I can take him out with my guns. There's gunfire on both sides right.
Speaker 1:That's going to like double your chances of your base just being completely wiped, although, although I see your point hang on one second, I agree.
Speaker 2:However, let me now ask you how would you fight said raiders with guns via melee traps?
Speaker 1:traps or melee okay, okay, I can accept that I got heads and I can accept that.
Speaker 2:Okay, I can accept that, I can accept that.
Speaker 1:I can accept that. I like that idea. Mine's even easier.
Speaker 3:Mine's even easier. I use the zombies to fight the raiders by shooting. I call them in. I get them to do the dirty work for me. What are you going to fucking give them a?
Speaker 1:piece of leg and be like now go eat that guy no, no, they're going to go to the closest target. They're not going to pick you don't get to pick where the zombies are coming from.
Speaker 3:No, but if I'm in a fortified city, which I'm going to be, I'm going to be in a locked down area a compound no, they're not going to get in at first. Right, they're going to have to get through my compound, my fences, my gates, my walls. If they can't get through right away by the time, I'm going to see them before they know I'm there and I'm going to start firing off when they're on approach. Then the zombies move in.
Speaker 1:Okay, here's what I'll say. This feels very much like I do agree with you. However, I think that's considering that you're much further into the apocalypse, which we didn't really specify how far we are into the apocalypse. But I would like to say that feels very much like a chess move, where you forget that your opponent is also trying to play the best move. That's something that happens in chess a lot, where you you're like oh yeah, this is my best move and you don't at all consider that your opponent is also going to be playing the best except for the enemy.
Speaker 3:The enemy of my enemy is my friend. As soon as they have to turn to fire on the zombies, I'm firing on them yeah you're also assuming that the raiders are attacking you at your base.
Speaker 1:But anyway, let's assume that. Okay, final, final rebuttal. We need some structure and order here, guys, your.
Speaker 2:Honor. He said that he would already know they were there. The thing is, with my traps, with my army of elite ninjas that I have, it's probably like four or five people, but we're all going to have hoods on, we're all going to be in blackface.
Speaker 3:Don't say blackface, we're not even going to no say the other word, we're not even going to need to prepare to fight.
Speaker 2:Fight them, because we're going to be in our base. There's going to be traps everywhere. They're already done. It's going to be like Bill from the Walking or not the Walking Last of Us. They're going to be way outside my exterior in the woods, already dead because there's freaking pits with spikes. I got to say okay.
Speaker 1:I got to say. I really am being as fair as I can with this episode. I'm alternating the devil's advocates. Typically, the person playing devil advocate is at a disadvantage to lose the point. So I'm sorry, alex, tj did win this one. It's fucking rigged. I was going to give it to you, but for two reasons I'm not giving it to you, one of which is that I had to bring up the raiders as a potential argument, because that's the only way that I see guns being the more viable option. However, tj, bringing up traps, I will count that as melee in this situation. In most cases, most traps and I I think that's very clever and I think that would be a way to defensively handle uh Raiders who are approaching you with guns without using guns, and then them shooting puts them in danger, as you were saying.
Speaker 3:So in my mind, that makes so he just used all of my arguments, but with traps.
Speaker 1:But again you're going for it well, because I think ultimately that means melee is superior. If they can't shoot because it would put them in a worse position, then them having guns is no longer an advantage and they're pushing melee into traps.
Speaker 3:Unless their whole point is to shoot, draw them to you and they bug out. But then he's got traps. Yeah, zombies don't care about traps. Yeah, but they're not going to get to him. If they get the zombies to set off all the traps, then they know where all the traps are, then they get in.
Speaker 2:Okay, but there's still a giant, eight-foot-wide pit full of spikes and alligators the zombies would have to know that they're even in there to go after them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you know what the zombies don't want to get? Covid. Yeah, come on Six feet. Everybody knows the zombies are on their fifth boosters. Okay, this is rigged chat. It's rigged against me, it's not rigged. Moving on Travel, I don't think we actually discussed this one, but I'm going to say that the quote-unquote correct answer is to travel light. So, alex, you will be advocating for traveling light. Tj, you will be advocating for being a loot goblin, essentially in the apocalypse, tj.
Speaker 3:Hold on. I need a little more specifics here. What are we defining as light Backpack? Just whatever you can carry? Yeah.
Speaker 1:Traveling, so that you could still run for a good amount of time at a comfortable speed.
Speaker 2:Medium hiking bag versus.
Speaker 1:I have a hiking bag and a duffel bag type shit yeah, I, I would say like small to medium bag versus full hiking bag with with bed roll and everything like. You're not sprinting in that for very long, okay. So tj, why is it better to travel heavy?
Speaker 2:If I know anything, I know that our beautiful host himself is a loot goblin.
Speaker 1:All right, I might take a point away for that.
Speaker 2:He grabs anything and everything and he does it right. He makes sure his character is built for such occasions. So traveling heavy is, I think, the best, because you're ready for anything. You got everything on you. You just got to make sure that you're built for that. I wouldn't say that. You know, eric is necessarily built for carrying the heavy shit. Right, he'd be more like a glenn type situation. He'd have a small bag, he'd get in, in, get out, right Me, I'm traveling baby. I got a hammock, I got a bedroll, I got stuff to cook, stuff to filter water, stuff, to everything. I have no needs in the world because I have everything on me in that situation and I truly need to get supplies less, which means like not getting myself into danger.
Speaker 1:So you're the.
Speaker 2:You're the dnd character that everybody wants to join yeah, if you're traveling light, that means you need to constantly look for things for, like, food, water, whatever me. I already got that on me. It's maybe like once a week and then I get my stuff and, you know, get back to where my home base is or if I'm, you know, if I'm just nomading it, I can I don't know fucking set up a base camp. You know I have all the stuff for that.
Speaker 1:But if you're traveling light, so your argument your argument is, that is, that traveling heavy means you'll always be prepared for every situation, and you'll be. You'll have food and water for longer amounts of time and won't need to stress about it as often as someone who's traveling and then reduce my like danger by doing that.
Speaker 2:You'll have to, you'll have to be smarter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you won't put yourself in any risky situations because you know that's a good point. Okay, alex? Why is it better to travel light?
Speaker 3:because everything tj just said was absolute bullshit. Solid stance. Now what you have to think about is, generally speaking, light would be considered about 25 of your body weight. If I estimate you're about 100 pounds, sure you would be about 25 pounds. You would be able to carry for long distance. You'd be as long as your backpack is comfortable. We're not talking about like a hobo bag, where you're carrying something on a stick. You got straps. You got you could put it on both shoulders. You can can haul for miles.
Speaker 3:Right, the best bet with that is you're able to go and move yourself where you need to be. You don't need to go get supplies and stuff. If you move yourself to a river, to a creek, somewhere where you have water and fish at ample supply, somewhere that you can grab your bag and run. If you get infiltrated, you don't need to worry about see if you travel heavy and you get raided. You can grab your bag and run. If you get infiltrated, you don't need to worry about see if you travel heavy and you get raided. You can't grab everything and go. You've lost all of the stuff that you've accumulated. You have to leave it and run.
Speaker 3:So the ultimate solution in any disaster, you've got a zombie horde coming upon you, you've got raiders coming upon you, anything like that. You have to travel light. So you're going to resort to traveling light at certain scenarios. It may not be every weekend or something like that, but it's going to be more often than if you're always traveling light.
Speaker 3:And you can still travel light and carry things like a tarp, a paracord, some communication devices, light devices, blanket and maybe I would say socks and a boot right, socks and boots, so that way you always have dry footwear if you will, and that would be even under 25 pounds. You can even carry a small handheld pistol and some ammunition. You would still be underweight. I could carry something a little bit heavier. I'm a big, bigger guy, so I would be able to carry something a little bit more. And this also weighs in one additional aspect to traveling light if you're traveling light with a group, everybody carries a little bit. Also, food doesn't mean you have to carry heavy. Food can be light. There can be things like rice, like beans, like you ever picked up a bag of rice?
Speaker 3:that's if you're carrying a big bag of rice. But you could carry a big bag of rice and that could be all of your food and that would last you a year.
Speaker 1:now I will say canned food is probably going to be one of the most common types of food in an apocalypse, and I think canned food is pretty heavy In most games, including Project Zomboid, that's pretty staple food. I'll tell you how to use canned food it doesn't expire, it's just heavy.
Speaker 3:I'll tell you how to use canned food. You come across canned food, you eat it right away. You can cook it in the can. You can, but you don't carry it. You eat it right away. You carry maybe one, can, maybe two, but again if you're by a creek.
Speaker 2:if you're by a river, it's just going to follow you. If you really desire the Chef Boyardee, that's true. Have you seen the commercials? It'll follow you.
Speaker 1:I've seen those commercials, you don't have to even carry it.
Speaker 3:Seen those commercials. I've seen those commercials, that's true that's a really good point, tj.
Speaker 1:Now we're getting fucking ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Well, I feel like trump in 2020, right now it's canon our votes coming in at 3 am.
Speaker 1:Have you not seen those commercials?
Speaker 2:you do not know the chef boyardee for real no, the lore.
Speaker 1:So the commercials are like somebody I don't know like they walk past it and it it falls off the shelf and then it just starts following the person and it follows them out the grocery store to their car, down the street, into their neighborhood, up their driveway, into their bag, and then they, they put it on the shelf.
Speaker 3:It it'll always follow you I hate to be the one to break this to you guys, but the zombie apocalypse will not be like a tv commercial. I know I know the one to break this to you guys, but the zombie apocalypse will not be like a tv commercial. I know, I know, I know it's hard to believe, all right, but it's not going to be like a commercial yeah, the laws of physics the laws of physics do not change for the zombie apocalypse.
Speaker 3:Yes, they do no, they don't yes, they do, because the zombies will pick up the chef boyardee oh, that's a really fucking good point actually how could they resist?
Speaker 2:yes, they will. How could they resist? It looks like brains, chef boyardee, because all of the zombies are at the smartness level of according to jeffrey domer, it even tastes like brains sir, they're all his smartness level. They're not. They don't know about the lore of chef boyardee.
Speaker 3:They wouldn't even know about it, see if you now that's a good counter argument to such, when you have to resort to ad hominem attacks, you've lost the argument.
Speaker 1:I don't know that. That was pretty convincing.
Speaker 2:The more you carry, that's pretty convincing you can barter if there is such a thing as you know people coming across you if you're traveling. I will.
Speaker 3:I will never, ever, ever give away food.
Speaker 1:I will never trade food, but that's not what he's saying in a base. That's not what he's saying. He's saying if you carry more, you can carry more of anything medicine. I now I will say, but you have to you'll have to abandon it at any point.
Speaker 3:You're caught off guard.
Speaker 1:Here's what I'll say when I play games with TJ. He's not wrong, I'm a loot goblin. However, he tried to appeal to that side of me to make me side with him. That is not a good quality that I have in a game.
Speaker 2:We are stacked in Zomboid we wouldn't, be as stacked if you weren't.
Speaker 1:I am a loot goblin in Zomboid. We wouldn't be as stacked if you weren't. Yes, we're stacked in Zomboid. I am a loot goblin in Zomboid.
Speaker 1:However, I can make multiple trips with our big-ass van that I have Exactly what I will say, is in games like Minecraft, where I have a lot of things in my inventory, what ends up happening is that I forget that I have things in my inventory and I never use them and they just sit in my inventory. This is what happens in Baldur's Gate 2. I'm really bad at games like that, especially D&D stuff, because the DM will give me an item expecting me to use it and I will hold on to that shit for dear life and never use it.
Speaker 2:the entire campaign Games like Skyrim, though, it pays to be a loot goblin. Oh fuck, you're fighting a dragon. You're low health. Oh shit, I have 89,000 wheels of cheese.
Speaker 1:Let me just eat all of these real quick.
Speaker 3:I'm going to eat my 15 wheels of cheese my 37 calories, while you guys live in the zombie apocalypse via video game.
Speaker 1:Okay, hang on sir.
Speaker 3:I was agreeing with you and you're coming at me, you're about, I'm coming at dj, you said you guys.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, you're living in video game world. Here too, I was. You know what dj.
Speaker 3:You got the point for that 83 000 wheels of cheese sounds a little bit ridiculous I said 15 I was a little more realistic with it, but even 15.
Speaker 1:Have you picked up a wheel of cheese? Have you played skyrim? Have you fought a dragon?
Speaker 3:I mean no exactly no then you wouldn't know how dare you you talk. Talk about the tj calling eric black. What?
Speaker 1:how did I get thrown into this too? I got, get it, I got it, I got it, yeah, I got that. That's funny All right, I'll give you the point for that, alex. That was funny, all right. Well, gosh, I want to give it to Alex because I think traveling light is the way to go, although I do like your arguments. I think in every group it is important that there is somebody traveling heavy.
Speaker 1:I don't think everybody should travel light, because I think typically it's the person you expect to not be in danger that you should have traveling heavy, because if at any point they have to just drop their stuff and run, you should be trying to protect them anyways and hopefully you can recover those supplies. You should be trying to protect them anyways and hopefully you can recover those supplies. But somebody should be traveling heavy because if everybody's traveling light, then you have nothing if everybody's only carrying the essentials they need, and I do agree with that.
Speaker 2:But I am the devil's advocate. So I'm gonna double down. I'm gonna say you got literally everything in your shit that you need at every moment, and it is the best. Yeah, you don't got to worry about nothing. And guess what?
Speaker 3:You lose it every time somebody comes along. You got to be built for it.
Speaker 2:That was my first point. You got to be built for it. And guess who's built for it? You lose it, me, you lose it every time I'm a big poking man and ain't nobody taking nothing from me, because I'm going to have three shotguns, two pistols and a god damn cheese knife on me who's going to take it?
Speaker 3:yeah, so guns are better than melee. No, we're not going back to past arguments. No, we're not going back we're done with this.
Speaker 1:I will say the cheese knife is important.
Speaker 3:Especially for those 15 wheels of cheese.
Speaker 1:I will say traveling heavy and traveling light is a bit subjective, because what's heavy to who? Because, like you said, my heavy is not your heavy. Yeah, I said that. My heavy, I think, is your light.
Speaker 3:Your heavy would be my light.
Speaker 1:So it really depends. I'm not someone who can travel heavy, because I can't carry a lot. Basically, all I can carry is the essentials that I need for my survival and then maybe a few knickknacks if I want to travel heavy.
Speaker 3:I expect TJ is at least 100 pounds heavier than me okay, mr cheese why am I a cheese wheel? You're the one who wants 83 000?
Speaker 1:you're aged. You just haven't played skyrim. You don't understand why? Because I'm old and moldy brown, are you telling me like you're All right Like a cheese wheel. Moving on. All right, I believe last time we said rural is better than urban.
Speaker 3:So in this case, tj, you will take the side of rural, rural, rural and, alex, you will take the side of urban okay, and alex, the urban center, although will be slightly more dangerous, I'll I'll grant that that angle it's going to be more dangerous. It's going to be so much more stocked with supplies. Everybody who is going to abandon their homes are going to leave their supplies behind. You're going to be able to find even in LA you'll find one or two pew-pews around. You will find canned food. You will find dry food. You will find water. Everybody in LA buys bottled water, so you're going to find plenty of supplies all around.
Speaker 3:You get into, say, an apartment complex maybe something like what we live in. You're going to be able to go through it. Think of when we covered the episode of the Night Eats the World, when that guy was able to loot all of the apartments because everybody in his building was gone. We will be able to firsthand witness everybody who's gone, to firsthand witness everybody who's gone. We can band together with those who are still alive and loot the other apartments so that we can all divvy up the supplies. Then you move out from there and get another location and then, with the amount of apartment buildings and skyscrapers and supermarkets that are all around, you'll be able to gather enough and survive for quite a while, whereas in a rural setting you're going to be hard pressed to find those same things. Everything is so much more spread out. You have to move great distances in order to get those kind of supplies and, although the danger is less in immediate proximity, you're going to have to cross the danger zones.
Speaker 1:Good points, TJ. Why is rural better?
Speaker 2:Urban. Rural means more people, more zombies, more scary. Do you know what rural means, alex? That means less people, less zombies, less scary. That also means more stuff, because guess what, there's a lot of Rural doesn't necessarily mean wide expanses of you know nothing, you know.
Speaker 1:That's true. It just means not in the city.
Speaker 2:I think I live in a rural area and there's a lot of houses here. You know what it also means, and there's a lot of houses here. You know what it also means. Your Honor, what do we always say is the best way to survive the apocalypse?
Speaker 1:What would that be?
Speaker 2:Fucking houseboat. You know what rural means Lakes. Motherfucker Houseboat.
Speaker 1:Houseboat. Oh Well, okay. First of all, a point for bringing up houseboat, okay.
Speaker 3:Wait a minute. Our plan is based on Los Angeles. Only because we live here, not because it's ideal, but nonetheless. We had the same exact plan to get out, not houseboat. We had the plan to get through the city and get over to the ocean and head over to Catalina Island. Island is not that was no, but you can get on a boat to get to catalina yeah, but I wouldn't call catalina urban no, catalina is not urban, but you have to go through the urban center I mean to get to it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's not preferred, it's, it's the.
Speaker 3:The catalina island is the end destination. I would rather be here than be in the middle of the country and have to try to get here to try to formulate this plan, to try to execute this plan we have some of our survivors who are further away, who are willing and able to actually traverse the entire country to get to where we are, to meet us over in catalina island.
Speaker 3:So they would rather get to the urban center, be where we are, loot everything. We can formulate that plan. The other thing that I would really love to do is set up zombie traps all along the coast so that any pirates who are going to try to follow in our footsteps they have to get through miles of zombies on the coastline and, uh, get eaten before they could ever even reach a boat.
Speaker 2:And the thing is, you have to get there though Rural.
Speaker 3:No problem Is easily accessible.
Speaker 2:There is plenty of land for traps, for planting and farming and such.
Speaker 3:Although I agree.
Speaker 2:I agree with all that, for houseboat, but you have a big problem.
Speaker 3:Possibly rivers that boat. But you have a big problem for power. You have a big problem. You could be out in the rural zones. You could be out in a great farm with with all kinds of crops. Do you know how to harvest all of those different types of crops?
Speaker 3:they're not all as easy as just pulling them out of the ground well, no, but I will say humans for just yourself or if humans have been farming, yeah, no, but understand, in order for you to go there and just start eating, you're gonna have to harvest. You're not gonna be able to just plant today and eat tomorrow yeah, what else do you have to do, though I mean yeah, what else do you have to do, though I mean yeah, what else do you have to do?
Speaker 1:What are you busy? You got too much to learn how to do it.
Speaker 2:Guess what what they use to plow the fields. They use like ox and shit. Right, guess what I'm going to use Zombies. You're going to be showing it. I'm going to tie them to the little metal thing that drags through the field. And I'm going to tie them to the little metal thing that drags through the field and I'm just going to walk in front of them. They're going to come right at me. Or, better yet, put myself in less danger. I'm going to get a little stick with some meat on it, or a live squirrel.
Speaker 2:Like a pig with a carrot on a stick in.
Speaker 1:Minecraft Yep.
Speaker 3:Okay, that's interesting. There's no way even eight zombies would be powerful enough To till the ground for you.
Speaker 2:That's why I gotta find the big bubba zombies and guess where they're at Rural zones.
Speaker 3:Even the big bubba zombies. You gotta put the weight of an ox or a horse To the biggest man on earth and you've got a fraction Of a man. That's why.
Speaker 2:I just gotta get more.
Speaker 1:I will say I like the spirit. Tj. I don't think it would work say I like the spirit.
Speaker 2:TJ. I don't think it would work, but I like the spirit. Hey it's. It's good to be crafting the apocalypse and rural areas give you a lot more room to be crafty. You can't be doing all this shit in urban environments. It's too loud. You know, you know what else is great about the urban?
Speaker 3:What else is great about the urban is you can go into taller buildings Just our small building. You can destroy stairwells. We have fire ladders so that we can still get up and down from the ground, but raiders and zombies can't get up to us.
Speaker 2:What's the point of that if you're not living? Who wants to survive? I want to live.
Speaker 3:That's true, but why wouldn't we be living?
Speaker 2:I'm going to find me a nice dog. We're going, true, but why? Why wouldn't we be living? Find me a nice dog, we're gonna live our life out on our farm.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna sit on my deck with a funny. You don't even mention your wife. She probably she died.
Speaker 1:She's gonna be me and spot it was tragic on the porch she died day two, birds and shit.
Speaker 3:Did you at least keep her alive through day one?
Speaker 2:oh no, I got her head in the closet she got.
Speaker 3:It's like she got bit on day one.
Speaker 1:It was like it was like 23 hours in day one, so she almost made it so basically day two very tragic.
Speaker 3:She almost made it to day two. Yeah, it was basically day two, though I'm telling you my absolute plan for the zombie apocalypse I will not be the first one bit. I don't care when I go after that, I will not be the first one bit.
Speaker 2:I don't think the first one will be bit. I think it's going to be transmitted through something.
Speaker 3:No, no, no. However it starts. However it starts. I will not be the first one bit.
Speaker 1:You won't be the second zombie. Yeah, gotcha.
Speaker 3:It's not going to happen. Yeah, gotcha, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:Okay, depends on if someone's like Mexican food.
Speaker 3:Wow, everybody likes Mexican food.
Speaker 1:Wade doesn't. Yeah, Wade does not. Well, he just doesn't like tacos.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's Mexican food. He's got a weird thing against tacos.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think he likes other Mexican food, he just doesn't like tacos.
Speaker 3:So by the definition of food, by the way, a quesadilla is a taco. No, it's a tortilla folded.
Speaker 2:No, your Honor, I think you should minus points from him. That was absolutely ridiculous. I would never say such a thing.
Speaker 3:It's a tortilla folded.
Speaker 1:It's a taco. The only places that fold a quesadilla are restaurants, and it's not because that's the right way to do it. It's because they don't want to give you a whole fucking quesadilla. It's because they're cheap.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean, I would have said I'm the only fat ass who uses two tortillas and fills everything up inside of them.
Speaker 1:No, the good Mexican restaurants do that, but when I do it it's a sandwich.
Speaker 3:I'd be more inclined to call it a sandwich, but I still think that's no, because I think the medium in which the bread is is a big factor in what it is.
Speaker 1:And cereal is a soup. Bring back no hot dog is a taco wrap. Is cereal a soup? Cereal is a cold soup. I think we agreed with Moving on that. One was who was rural? Tj was Alex. You were urban. I got to say TJ brought up houseboat. That was pretty big for me. Also, I feel like I know what you were getting at with the Catalina Island thing. But I feel like you kind of shot yourself in the foot because your whole argument was no, it's better to start in an urban place so I can get to the rural place.
Speaker 3:I fucking recovered. Give me some fucking credit. I like it.
Speaker 1:I like the argument. I just don't think it was solid enough. I think it's kind of going to TJ on that one 100,000 votes coming in at 3 am.
Speaker 3:This is bullshit yeah.
Speaker 1:Five points coming in at 3 am. This is bullshit. Yeah, five points coming in at 12, 12 am. Final one, final question.
Speaker 1:Final Gippity this is going to involve shelter again. So instead of rural and urban, we're going to kind of lock it down a little bit. Let's say we're in an urban setting. I'm going to give us three options, because I won that last point. No, we're in an urban setting. That's not why I'm going to give us three options. We're going to eliminate one of them all together and then we'll use the other two Malls, prisons and schools. Which one do we want? To eliminate? One of them all together, and then we'll use the other two Malls, prisons and schools. Which one do we want to eliminate?
Speaker 3:Schools, oh Jesus, I would have said malls. Well, I think that we better eliminate schools by the simple fact that I think there's more movies and stuff talking about prisons and malls. No well, although that's true, I think the the uh movies depicting malls are so unrealistic because also they never have only four entrances.
Speaker 2:What the hell is in a fucking school?
Speaker 3:the cafeteria.
Speaker 2:Dude, the processed food will hear me out the process will last forever, dude students, so that means less food in a school well, that depends.
Speaker 3:No, we're in an urban center. Can I bring up a? Most of our schools out here have thousands of kids can I bring up a point?
Speaker 2:compton bro, that doesn't mean anything, he said we're in an urban center.
Speaker 1:Who's the host here? Can I bring up a point? If you pick schools, this is a shelter. You're going to have to clear it first. There will be zombie kids. Zombie kids are really creepy.
Speaker 3:There would be zombie kids at the mall too.
Speaker 1:They'd be so creepy, but so many less, but so many less.
Speaker 3:They would be like moms with their babies, dude, but that's like all there is at a school. Fine.
Speaker 1:Fine.
Speaker 3:Fine, I'll agree with TJ. I'm just saying.
Speaker 2:To the hot topic to see the Gotham's.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to Victoria's Secret. Bro, you guys are down bad. I understand your point with malls.
Speaker 3:You know I'm staying far away from the Zomboosie.
Speaker 1:Not Zomboosie. I understand malls because I actually agree. I think malls are the dumbest choice in any movie ever. They're incredibly unrealistic. The only reason Dawn of the Dead's mall scene works in that is because the doors for some reason open outwards yeah. I know.
Speaker 3:I'll tell you this.
Speaker 2:Even here I know some malls that have the outward doors.
Speaker 3:No, it's true, because even here door the actual doors that swing, they open outwards. But our problem here is all of the freaking doors are sliding doors.
Speaker 1:And they're automatic.
Speaker 3:I mean you could turn the automatic off. But here's the problem. There'd be a backup generator. The track is so flimsy that enough pressure and it's just going to collapse inward. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, you only have a bolt down and a bolt up. With the automatic shutting doors. Those can be pushed in and like fold like regular doors. So, if there's pressure, it's going to. So, like those are the worst kind of doors to have, because they can, that's why I'm saying that that's my perspective, why I'm against a mall.
Speaker 3:Those are all of the malls we have, because they're they're meant to be pushed against like that.
Speaker 1:For it's it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be for the fire department. Yeah, so they can just bust if they can't get in, they just push them open.
Speaker 3:So, theoretically speaking, the zombies would be able to eventually. With enough pressure, it would even accidentally force it open.
Speaker 1:So do we want to change our answer?
Speaker 3:I like schools because they're always brick, they're always gated. Yeah, there's going to be some zombie kids, man. That hurts my heart.
Speaker 2:But yeah, there's a possibility to find one there.
Speaker 1:What Whoa Wow kids, man, that? That hurts my heart. But yeah, there's a possibility to find all right there what edgy joke point?
Speaker 3:hey, it's sad if you do wrong but if you do find the pukey there, you won't have any zombies walking around. They've already been taken out before the zombie apocalypse.
Speaker 1:That's why they became zombies.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's even harsher.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I will say that's crazy, he's going wildfire zone.
Speaker 1:I think school is the better option out of mall and school. So I'm actually going to eliminate school.
Speaker 3:Because I want a good option.
Speaker 1:I want a good option and a bad option.
Speaker 2:No, maul is so bad, what Maul?
Speaker 1:is bad, maul is so good Maul is so bad.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:Maul is so bad, so it's Maul in prison.
Speaker 3:So Well, since TJ won that last point, he should defend Maul.
Speaker 2:Your Honor.
Speaker 3:You know what?
Speaker 2:You gave me the option to choose at the beginning. I'd like to choose now.
Speaker 1:I think you did choose and I will say you have a substantial lead and so I do feel Of course he does it's rigged. I do feel that it's only fair that I'm trying to help you Look, look.
Speaker 2:You don't even care what you're saying, your Honor, I think it's only fair that I'm trying to help you. Look, look, I do. I don't even care what you're saying. Your honor he's. I think it's only fair.
Speaker 1:I think it's only fair that you defend malls. Yes, let's go.
Speaker 2:Interesting response he thought prison option and let's reverse psychology.
Speaker 1:And alex, you will be well, tj, you'll be the devil's advocate defending malls. Alex, you will be defending prisons. You will be well, tj, you'll be the devil's advocate defending malls. Alex, you will be defending prisons. You will be defending slavery in prisons. California votes no to end. That, that's right. Still my favorite joke ever, because it's not a joke and it's entirely true. So, tj, would you like to go first?
Speaker 2:No, Okay, alex, he's so adamant that prisons are better.
Speaker 1:Why are prisons better?
Speaker 3:Alex. Well, prisons are better because they are fortified in such ways that it's nearly impossible to get in or out. They were. Although they're designed to prevent people from getting out, it is still equally difficult to get into them. There's gates, there's razor wires, there's walls. Specifically here in California I apologize, I'm not familiar with prisons all over the country, but specifically here in California there are several prisons maximum security that are brick all around.
Speaker 3:So it's not just that you have these solid gates that are eight to 10 feet high outer gate, inner gate and then wall. The inner walls are brick, they're solid concrete. So it doesn't matter if a horde were to come in and push through and break down the gates. They're not getting into the prison, they're going to get stopped by the walls. Into the prison, they're going to get stopped by the walls. Inside. The food supply is typically vast. They have to be able to feed every prisoner in there. Now, theoretically speaking, if they're not still alive, if they're all turned, you have to clear them. Now here's the good news Theoretically, you're going to get in and the majority of them are going to be locked up. You have to assume that at least some of them have gotten out.
Speaker 1:You have to, you have to assume that I don't think that in the chaos that somebody would have hit the open all cells button.
Speaker 3:If they did, we're not having this discussion because we're not dealing with zombies inside of the prison. They would have fled long before if any.
Speaker 1:If people were letting them true, true, they probably would have tried to leave the facility I'm assuming that they were trying, that the prison guards were trying to keep them in.
Speaker 3:So we're going to deal with some prisoners mostly prison guards that, although that will present a challenge because they're armed but they're not going to use it, but protected.
Speaker 1:You think about the ones in riot gear?
Speaker 3:Now I do have an advantage there, because if they're in riot gear they can't bite me.
Speaker 1:They're blocked themselves. However, they are heavy. They are heavy and if they fall on you, they could fall down. I'm less worried about you getting hurt, more worried about all the other zombies trying to eat and that that's true too.
Speaker 3:However, I'm lighter. I'm able to move around that's true, I'm able to let them come and I am not against using tj tj's weight against him. I'll let him push his weight against me and throw him down to the ground. Right, he's the prison guard Using him as an example.
Speaker 1:I didn't know you had a new career TJ, Because he's big and strong.
Speaker 3:With that. I'm going to take those actions. I'm going to go slow. I'm going to clear little by little, knowing that my goal is to get to the cafeteria. Once I get to the cafeteria. Once I get to the cafeteria, there's going to be plenty of food there for quite a while, because if it was able to feed hundreds of, if not thousands of prisoners, it's going to be able to feed me and my small group for quite a long time before we have to get outside and clear all of these zombies that have broken down fences and do all of that hard labor. I think the prison is a superior choice for those reasons.
Speaker 1:I agree with a lot of what you said. I will say I think I know why you didn't say this, but I do think checking the armory is worth a shot and is probably one of the first things I would do, because, on the off chance that it's not looted, you are set.
Speaker 3:The reason why I didn't want to go there first is because more of the weapons are going to be non-lethal types. You're going to have beanbag guns, you're going to have rubber bullets, you're they don't want prison guards in here and here in california the maximum security they call in armed guards from outside to come in because they don't want guns inside of the prison. That's true, because once they're in, if a prison prisoner gets a hold of them, you've got major problems. If you've got nothing but non-lethal, all they do is slow the prisoners down when they start rioting and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:For sure. Okay, I understand that. Alright, TJ. Why are malls better?
Speaker 2:Auntie Anne's. What was that Auntie Anne's Food, that Auntie Anne's Food court?
Speaker 1:I'm gonna go to a fucking.
Speaker 2:Cinnabon. Those are the first things that are better than a prison.
Speaker 1:I'm not gonna lie. His argument right off the bat is pretty fucking strong, tj.
Speaker 2:He just wants to go to the prison, just so he can meet dinner. That's all he wants.
Speaker 3:Not fair. So what do you mean?
Speaker 2:so so I want to know what it's like what.
Speaker 3:I want to know what it's like. What is it like to be you, Diddy? I'm going to talk to zombie Diddy.
Speaker 2:We already established somewhat of a plan in one of your episodes. No, was it your episodes? I think it was one of your episodes, wasn't it? Zombie scenarios.
Speaker 1:I think that was mine, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So can I ask some, can it just be any mall? Can I just choose a mall? Is it two floors? Sure, choose a mall. I choose the two floor mall. I don't have a specific mall. I think two floors. Sure, choose a mall. I choose the two-floor mall. I don't have a specific mall. I think two floors. Look at you, I choose you.
Speaker 2:So, like I said, food court, I think that it would be so easy to hold up in a mall simply for the fact that the entire, like hallway middle, like walking area, can be blocked off from the rest if you just shut all of the shutters on every single store because they all have them. So what are you doing? You're breaking holes through walls. Oh wait, you don't have to do that. They have secret access hallways that you can go through to get anywhere in the building. Oh, somebody's breaking in through the north side. Let me just pop in, pop out, I'm gone. They won't know where I am. I'm a ninja. Also, traps. I got traps everywhere. We already know this. And I'm going to just sit there eating my Cinnabon while Raiders or zombies or whatever you know what, it doesn't even matter. And guess what? Alex is stupid, I win.
Speaker 3:Okay here, here's my rebuttal. Oh great Genius. So those quote, unquote secret passageways they're not fucking secret dumbass. They use them for trash exitsass. They use them for trash uh exits. They use them for deliveries. So there's doors. There's doors that go from the outside to inside, usually the large bay doors that they don't lock. They lock all of the interior doors. So you're gonna go right outside into one of those hallways and they're going to be filled with zombies Because they have open bay doors from the loading dock that zombies just accidentally walked in on.
Speaker 2:I'd rather get bit by those zombies than the fucking ditty zombies that you're going to be fighting. Okay, Okay, Also better food Before we go down All his food's going to be gross, just saying Before we go.
Speaker 3:That's true All your food's going to be gross. Just saying Before we go, that's true. All your food's going to go rotten in two weeks, nuh-uh.
Speaker 1:Preservatives. I don't know Cinnabon's going to last forever.
Speaker 3:No, it won't. Most of it's frozen. The freezers are going to stop working, that's fine.
Speaker 1:I'll gonna do. Keep it cold. It's gonna go rancid. Maggots are gonna get it instantly. Okay, we're gonna move on from this. I will say your response to the mall situation is way better than I was expecting because, truth be told, the idea of fuck it, close all the shutters to all the stores and live in the back hallways, that's pretty fucking smart, because I was thinking like I. I think you're a little wrong on how most malls are set up, alex, because those big bay doors are typically exterior and there's another door in between those. If you're able to lock those doors or barricade those doors.
Speaker 3:Fyi, I worked at a mall and when you got there, when it was closed, when you couldn't get in the mall doors, you went through the bay doors Because they were all wide open. Everything was open.
Speaker 1:Maybe at that mall. That's not how it is at the Galleria. Yeah, at the Galleria. It was not that ball. That's not how it is at the Galleria. It shows how irresponsible he is. Your Honor. Yeah, at the Galleria, it was not that way. Now there are ways from the exterior of the building to get into those back hallways. However, those are the doors you should be barricading or locking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but he didn't say that because he's stupid. I said barricade.
Speaker 1:You didn't say it, I did I didn't hear barricade but I'm not going to say you didn't say it, I zoned out a little bit halfway through your stuff.
Speaker 3:I did say that Because he talks too much.
Speaker 1:If you want to say I didn't, then I'll respect your choices. No, no no, it doesn't matter either way, because I think the idea is there. That is a way better way to hold down a mall than I've ever considered, because all the ways I've ever considered closing down a mall than I've ever considered, because all the ways I've ever considered closing down a mall is blocking off the entrances and realizing that just doesn't really do anything, because all the glass now the actual yeah, because all the glass now the actual efficiency of shutting all the shutters and surviving out that way.
Speaker 2:I'm not 100, 100% sure, but I will say I can have it set off in some areas Sound traps, do you?
Speaker 3:know the codes.
Speaker 2:Do you know the codes?
Speaker 1:I'm sure someone's got the codes written down. Dude Janet from security definitely has the codes written down.
Speaker 2:Probably 0-0-0.
Speaker 1:1-2-3-4 or 0-0-0-0? Or 8-8-8-8?.
Speaker 2:Keep trying it down, it's probably zero, zero, zero a one, two, three, four or zero zero, zero, zero or eight, eight, eight keep trying it okay, this is definitely rigged well, I will
Speaker 1:I, I'm not gonna say do you have a rebuttal?
Speaker 3:yeah, the mall is stupid. Tj's stupid. He's not gonna be able to pull all those shutters down. Number one if the mall was open, uh, there's gonna be zombies in every store, so closing those shutters down. Number one if the mall was open, there's going to be zombies in every store, so closing the shutters is going to be irrelevant. You're going to be locking yourself in with them, so you get one of the shutters down. You have zombies all in the store. Now you've got to get past them to go out into that back hallway. You're going to let them into the hallway. You're screwed.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I think the idea would be to essentially well, tj, what's the idea?
Speaker 3:I think that pokey you think that you're stupid shut the shutters.
Speaker 2:If they're in the store, draw them to the door, stab them through the shutters with a pokey stick, because there are two shutters on the stores. There are like the metal ones, and then there are the little plastic ones with the little, the grate you can stick through what are you talking?
Speaker 3:about that, or open the shutter until it's like this much you really know of one shutter crawl under stabby you either have the metal shutter and then by the time I'm done I'm stacking all them bitches in the fucking uh what?
Speaker 2:what is it called? The footlocker? That's a pretty big store and malls. Usually I'll shove them all in the footlocker. All the bodies close it up, mark it off and then continue on eating.
Speaker 3:I don't, I don't, I don't have any argument with stocking them in footlocker, because that's where they belong okay, well, rip our footlocker sponsorship in the future.
Speaker 1:No, it.
Speaker 3:It's because you know Foot Lockers. It's the only place that can hold them. I was gonna say Foot Locker, if you want to give me a sponsorship and send me free shoes, please do.
Speaker 2:I am a size 14.
Speaker 1:If you want to send him $1,000, he'll get whatever shoe you want tattooed on him. He'll get the shoe tattooed on his feet.
Speaker 3:I'll get a Nike you want tattooed on him. He'll get the shoe tattooed on his feet.
Speaker 1:I'll get a Nike Cortez tattooed on my forehead if you sponsor us, don't say that that's a very possible thing. That could happen someday you don't want that deal.
Speaker 3:I want you to get the Nike Cortez tattooed on your feet and then contract to wear sandals for three years.
Speaker 2:Wait, it's a.
Speaker 1:No, it's a deal with Crocs and you have to wear Crocs for three years. Nobody wants to wear Crocs for three years. I know someone. Okay, well, man, this is actually. This one's a little tougher than I anticipated it to be.
Speaker 2:I want to give TJ a point for creativity. He's going to get in there. And what is he doing? He's like, yeah, I'll get in there.
Speaker 1:There's riot, zombies, that's all he really said. I'll give Alex a point, for there's a lot that he considered like the riot zombies, for instance. There's a lot that he considered like the riot zombies, for instance, and the fact that the prison itself is very defensible and once you're inside and able to lock down the inside, it's just a matter of clearing the inside, because you're pretty much safe eternally from the outside, except for the walking dead, apparently.
Speaker 2:One more thing there is a high probability that there is a MILF soccer mom still alive in the mall, so we can repopulate her.
Speaker 1:Because Maddie's not alive in this scenario she didn't survive.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's right, that's right, so MILF soccer mom or goth girl at Hot Topic. There's a chance that they survive, but you're forgetting something You're forgetting, something what?
Speaker 3:There may be a MILF soccer mom in the mall.
Speaker 2:Exactly that's what I'm saying. In the mall there might be a MILF soccer mom in the mall because she brought her kids there. All her kids are dead. We got to give her new kids.
Speaker 3:But what about the obvious? What about the obvious, what?
Speaker 2:You're black.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, that just makes them more, they all got fantasies, not that fantasy bro yo ted is not playing it down, right bro yeah, he's right.
Speaker 1:Ted is not doing it, that's why they'd be going for tyrones who's ted?
Speaker 2:her ex-husband, the fictional fucking husband, the guy the guy who left her no, he's the husband who died after 22 hours.
Speaker 1:She got custed he didn't even make it 22 hours. No, he died defending his family fucking tj, you homewrecker he was out.
Speaker 2:I don't know, why?
Speaker 1:I don't know why I don't know why. Yeah, he actually wasn't a good dude.
Speaker 2:That's better then we're deep on that.
Speaker 1:I know Bugs Can you believe this guy, this poor guy, this guy here. It's not our fault. You died so early, bugs, I know.
Speaker 3:Bugs, why are you dying early? Okay, time to tally up the score, because we've already run pretty late. Tj's going to hate me. I've already finished my whiskey.
Speaker 1:Tj Sponsored by Maker's Mark. No, we can't say that.
Speaker 2:It's not. I wish it's not. I'll drink a bottle of you a day. No, stop.
Speaker 3:We can't be creating problems for sponsorships.
Speaker 1:No, no, nohips, this is not creating.
Speaker 3:This is not creating problems for sponsorship. This is creating problems for tj?
Speaker 1:no, well, because tj is gonna have to edit this out, but that's true.
Speaker 3:He's gonna have to edit that out. He's gonna have to edit my maker's mark out.
Speaker 1:Okay moving on. I was not keeping track of why you guys got these points, but, alex, you ended with six points, I believe you won the. Which one did you win? You won the prisons and malls. Did you win any of the other ones? Wait, he won that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he won prisons and malls. He won prison, although I gave you a point. What about the mall, though? Well, I gave you a point for creativity on the mall because I never considered that Cinnabon deserves at least half a point.
Speaker 1:I don't think so. Did you win Blunt or Sharp?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:No, because I think I went with him for blunt. No, I think I won urban. And then you didn't win gun or melee. No, I think I won urban. Damn. Well, that explains the score. Alex, you have six points. Tj, you have ten points. Yeah, baby Came in at three.
Speaker 3:I win these, I win these. Yeah, baby Came in at 3 am chat.
Speaker 2:I win these. I'm sick. I still won. You know why?
Speaker 3:All those votes came in at 3 am TJ swept it After they stopped counting.
Speaker 1:So here's the thing these votes came in consistently throughout the night. These points are very legit and definitely none of them are dead.
Speaker 2:One of those points was for something hilarious, incognito. I'm going to that shit was hella funny.
Speaker 3:That's true. Yeah, but I'm the one who said it.
Speaker 1:No you're like, I can paint my face black too.
Speaker 2:I said point for Incognito and he's like okay here. Yeah, that was funny I deserved the point.
Speaker 1:No. He's like okay here, yeah, that was funny. I deserved the point. No, I gave you two points for something else that you said.
Speaker 2:That was very funny I don't remember what it was, now it'll be. Why did I give you two points on tiktok guys, until instagram takes over?
Speaker 3:true or whatever other app, but I'm going, I'm going, uh, full throttle on instagram too, so you could go check it out. It's got all the same content as tiktok, since it's all gonna end soon all right.
Speaker 1:Well, with that sad news. Uh, thank you for playing this game, boys. It was fun to our audience. You should go check us out on social media. For now, tiktok is still alive, but you should check us out on TikTok, instagram, facebook. Do we have our Pinterest back up? No, not Pinterest. Screw them. For now we're working on it. Will you survive the podcast, if you want to? No, you can't do that. You're going to have to cut that out. God, oh, my God, where even was I? Next is emails. Oh yeah, if you want to send us an email, we really appreciate that and we'll always read them. You can send it to the boys at. Will you survive the podcastcom? That's t-h-e-t-h-e-b-o-y-s at. Will you survive the podcastcom? I'm not going to spell that out. You could spell out that last part or just check the the podcast name. On the topic of that, you can listen to the podcast anywhere that you listen to find podcasts like spotify or apple podcasts or iheart or anywhere else.
Speaker 2:So go do that on your spotify wrapped.
Speaker 3:You're dead to us you should be, we should be on your spotify wrapped 2024 baby, actually, if we, if we were on your spotify wrapped and this episode is going to come out, we'll give you a screenshot, but yeah send us a screenshot and we will post it on our instagram and on our tiktok, because that's awesome, yes anything.
Speaker 1:Oh, if you want to find us on x, well, I'll be very honest, we're not that active, but maybe if we had more followers on x we would be more active there.
Speaker 2:Eventually, everybody's gonna move over to fucking blue sky, because the people who made twitter made that yeah, I don't think so, to be honest, but anyway, we'll talk about that later x?
Speaker 1:uh, if you want to follow us there, it is alex and eric wys. There you go, uh, thank you guys. So much for listening. Please rate the podcast. Uh, give us five stars on apple podcast or on spotify, and we'd love to see that and read your comments about that.
Speaker 3:Rate us five stars. Make it easy on yourself. That's a very nice house you have. We wouldn't want something to happen to it.
Speaker 1:No, no like a zombie apocalypse starting there.
Speaker 3:We'll send the zombies to your house first.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 3:Joey, you know what we're talking about, joey.
Speaker 1:Roger, and just like that we've gotten every Joey and Roger to follow us.
Speaker 2:Congratulations, guys. Intimidation does work. Lay off the masseuse and listen to the podcast, ted. That's right, take your wife you wouldn't have died in 22 hours.
Speaker 1:That's true. If you want to survive longer than Ted in the zombie apocalypse, please binge. Watch our content and until next time, guys. I think that's all we have for you, and we'll catch you, guys, in the next one.
Speaker 2:Until then, stay alive stay alive, baby, except except © transcript Emily Beynon.
